Page 3 of Tremors of Desire


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Darin scratches his chin, considering what to say next. “I’m well aware, man. I’m fucking sorry. You didn’t deserve that—at all. What that bitch did is unforgivable.” He pauses, gauging my expression, before continuing, “But you need to move on. Get back out there.”

My laugh is sarcastic. “Seriously? You think it’s that easy?” My eyes lower, regret filling my stomach like lemons. “And there’s still the issue of what happened with my family. What woman would understand that?”

Darin’s smile fades as he puts a hand on my shoulder, turning serious. “You are much too hard on yourself, Max. Anyone in your position would have done what you did.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I grumble, turning away from him. Taking a deep breath, I run my hand through my hair.I hate thinking of this shit, let alone discussing it.

“Stop worrying about your past, Max. Just focus on having fun. Find a nice girl. Or several.” Darin gives me a mischievous grin and winks at me. I glower at him, and he chuckles. Then he gets serious. “Max, when’s the last time you’ve actually been on a date?” He shakes his head. “You’re going back to college, man. Take advantage of it.”

I shake my head, my defenses rising. “Meeting goals, yes. Women… well, that’s another story. I don’t have the best luck. Two long-term girlfriends, one of which I was engaged to. Brianna ripped my fucking heart to shreds. And casual flings… well, they never end well.” I shrug. “It may be better to focus on school for a while.”

“Max, there are still good women in this world. You aren’t looking.”

My spine stiffens at his words. “No, I’m not.”

Meeting my eyes, Darin holds up his arms in surrender. “I’m just saying, Max. Don’t shut out everyone before they even get the chance to know you. You could be pushing away a wonderful girl and not even know it.”

Shaking my head, I pull out my iPhone and look at the time. This conversation is over as far as I’m concerned. “I’m going to clean up and head out for the afternoon. See you later, man.”

Darin nods and fist bumps me, then heads toward his office at the back of his motorcycle shop. “Just remember what I said. Later, man.” He disappears inside his office, shutting the door.

I blow out a frustrated breath as I put away my tools and head to the restroom to clean up. Looking in the mirror, I study my face, spotting some grease I missed. Scrubbing it off, I stare at my reflection for a few seconds. There are dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, and those fucking nightmares that haunt me.

As excited as I am to continue my education and earn my degree, college also brings up memories of my past.

And I haven’t even started classes yet.

Shutting the thoughts down before they can overwhelm me, I head out of the restroom, tossing the towel into the trashcan harder than necessary.

I need to find a way for my fucking past to stop tormenting me.

It’s time to move forward.

Chapter two

Irelynn

August25,2018,11:00a.m.

My eyes take in the large brick apartment complex as I pull my SUV into a parking spot. I’ve barely put my vehicle in park when the smiling face of my best friend and college roommate, Vanessa Bryson, appears, stepping through the front door to our off-campus apartment. Her face beams with excitement as she waves at me.

Sighing with relief, I’m glad the drive is over, and I’ve arrived in Lockwood Village. We live about twenty minutes from Maple Valley University and are just two days from starting our senior year.

Vanessa’s fashionable sandals click along the sidewalk as she hurries in my direction. I jump out of my vehicle, pocketing my keys, and run toward her, my blonde curls streaming behind me. My arms wrap around her slim frame, and we hug, happy to be reunited after spending most of the summer apart. Although we’d spent two weeks together this summer, one week at my parent’s house, and a week together in Cape May, New Jersey, it wasn’t the same as living together.

Pulling back, my gaze roves over her long, straight brunette locks that gleam beneath the sun, the reddish-blonde highlights indicative of the time she spent on the beach this summer. I’m envious of her bronzed skin, which makes her sparkling emerald eyes stand out more than usual.

“God, Irelynn, I’ve missed you. Even though I had a great summer, it wasn’t the same without you. And oh—your outfit is so cute! I love those white capris and that teal cami top on you.” She fingers the lacy edge of my camisole. Immediately I know she’s going to be wearing it sooner than later.

Squeezing her hand, I raise up, bouncing on the balls of my feet. Her excitement is contagious. “Girl, I’ve missed you. I’ve been counting the days until I could see you again.” I pause, taking a breath, my elation causing me to talk faster than normal. “And your outfit is amazing. So stylish, Miss Fashionista.” My eyes scan over the light denim jacket thrown over her navy blue and white striped dress, which shows off her tanned and toned legs. It’s probably too warm for the jacket, but Vanessa has never prioritized temperature over fashion. She has an incredible eye for it, along with the funds to keep her closet full. Her family is both wealthy—and dysfunctional.

Vanessa gives a slight curtsy, then laughs. Her French manicured nails curve around my arm as she jumps up and down. “It’s our senior year of college and girl, I just know it’s going to be our best yearever.”

Shaking my head, I hold up a hand. “Now you jinxed us. Why did you have to saythat?” My eyes are wide as I imagine all the horrors that can befall us now.

“Stop being so damned superstitious! Everything will be fine, Irelynn.” Her smile slowly fades, changing to admonishment. “That’s your problem, babe. You look for the shadows instead of standing in the sun.” She gives me a teasing grin, looks up at the sky and mutters, “Lord, help me with this one. She needs to lighten up.”

I smack her arm, laughing. “I’m notthatbad.”

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