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There are two periods in my life. Pre-William and Post-William. The former is full of fun, relaxation, freedom, and innocence. The latter is the exact opposite, especially after his high school party, when everything changed. I became constrained by my trauma and chained to my grief.
After my brother died, I saw a therapist. And I began to make progress, not only in dealing with my grief, but I inadvertently confessed what happened at William’s party. She helped me move forward, which ultimately led to me being a little more like the girl I was before him. I’d accepted that I could never regain my innocence.
I was finally able to be in a relationship. Even though Ben broke my heart, I’d been doing my best to move forward.
Just when I’ve finally made progress, William returns and ruins it.
Chapter thirteen
Irelynn
August26,2018,6:30a.m.
Pulling myself from my thoughts, I rinse off and step out of Vanessa’s shower. Drying off, I wrap myself in a fluffy towel.
Heading to the mirror, I wipe the condensation from it. Staring at my reflection, I push my shoulders back, straightening my posture.
I can handle whatever comes my way. I always have.
It may be hard, but it doesn’t mean I won’t get through it. After brushing my teeth, my gaze lands on my clothes, wadded up on the floor.Hmm. I probably should have thought this through a little more. I should have grabbed some clothes before bolting from my room.
Vanessa is the same size as me, but most of her clothing are much more revealing than my own attire. I prefer more comfortable, casual attire, while Vanessa’s preference is anything that gets her noticed.
Deciding against wearing anything in her closet, I secure the towel tightly around me I tiptoe to the door, pressing my ear against it, wondering where Max is. I don’t hear the shower, but I have no idea if he’s finished in my bathroom or not.
Straining my ears, I don’t hear anything, so I quietly open the door, poking my head into the hallway. Hearing nothing except the faint volume of the TV, I decide to creep to my bedroom and see if Max is in there.
Lightly tiptoeing over the beige carpet, I hurry into my bedroom, craning my neck toward my bathroom. It’sempty. I sigh in relief. Heading to the dresser, I pull open a drawer, grabbing a pair of underwear and a bra. Dropping my towel on the floor, I’m stepping into a pair of my underwear when I hear Max’s voice.
“Hey Irelynn, your phone is ringing.” He steps into my bedroom, freezing, as my head raises to his.
Fuck. Why didn’t I shut my bedroom door?
“Oh God.” I’m still bent over, one leg in my panties. Reaching for the towel, I move too fast, which causes me to stumble and lose my balance. I fall against my dresser, my hand still searching for the towel.
Finally feeling the soft, damp fabric, I cover the front of my body with it, my underwear dropping to my ankles as I stand, my face beet red.
Why hasn’t he moved?As I look from his outstretched hand, holding my ringing phone, to his shocked face, I’m temporarily baffled.He could have turned around and left, rather than gape at me, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.
“Is it Vanessa?” I finally ask, my voice crackling from my embarrassment. And from the way he’s staring at me.
He stiffens, drawing himself to his full height, nodding. One hand goes through his hair, which in the short time I’ve been around him, seems to be something he does when he’s frustrated or nervous.
“Um… yeah, that’s the name that was on the screen.” He looks at me, cheeks slightly pink, but the look in his eyes when they meet mine causes a weird squeaking sound to come out of my throat.
He looks… hungry. Ravenous. Like he wants to ravish me. I’m not sure why I had that thought or if I’ve ever used that word before, but it’s highly appropriate in this situation.
I clear my throat, hoping he didn’t notice the weird sound I made, but it’s obvious he did as a corner of his lips turn up into a smirk. I’m trying to remember my earlier thoughts that I can handle anything, so I compose myself as best I can and point to my nightstand. “You can set my phone there. I’ll call her back once…” I gesture to my naked body, now hidden beneath the towel. Mostly. I’m keeping my exposed backside toward my bathroom door behind me.
“Sorry, I… um… interrupted.” He gestures toward me as he heads to my nightstand, setting my phone on it. Giving me a tight smile, he dashes through my door, his footsteps sounding further away as he moves toward the living room.
Releasing a breath, I hurry toward my bedroom door. As my hand closes over the knob and I start pushing it shut, he turns around, his blue eyes apologetic but also… burning withdesire? Pausing my movements, I tilt my head, studying him.
Why am I analyzing his expressions? Remember your goals, Irelynn.
Grabbing onto my last remaining shred of dignity, I give him a tight smile as I push my door closed.
My hands cover my scalding cheeks as I look down, realizing my panties are still around my ankle. The whole situation is just so ridiculous that I laugh. Moving my hand from my cheek, I laugh so hard tears fill my eyes.
