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It takes everything inside me to keep me from running back to him and throwing myself in his arms.
I heave in a breath as I turn the knob, stepping through the front door. I dread this conversation, not only because Vanessa will badger me with questions about Max and many I won’t have answers to.
But also because I have to tell her about William. And she’s going to be furious I didn’t tell her sooner.
Sneaking past her room and into my own, I breathe a sigh of relief, my thoughts whirling in anticipation of the questions she’s going to shoot at me like a firing squad. I’m so lost inside my head, I don’t even realize she came into my bedroom. I give a startled gasp and jump when I notice her standing there, arms crossed over her chest as she pushes her petite frame from my doorway.
As I change into a pair of white capri jeans and a black floral cami top, busying myself so I don’t have to see the disappointment and anger in her gaze, I recount my trip to the bookstore on Saturday and the horror that unfolded after. Vanessa’s smile dies from her face as she slides to a sitting position on the edge of my bed, her hands folded between her knees. My heart squeezes painfully when I square my shoulders and face her.
Guilt and horror are evident in her wide mouth and eyes, her pale face, and the way she’s wringing her hands.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me William returned?” The anger in her voice is palpable and echoes around my bedroom walls, drilling into my skin.
“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone when you were dealing with a family emergency. Josh needed you, Vanessa.”
“But so did you!” She explodes in frustration, her face turning scarlet. “If Max hadn’t been so kind as to offer to come back, you would have been alone.Allfucking evening and night, Irelynn.”
She hops up from the bed, her hand going through her sleek brunette locks as she paces like a caged tiger in a zoo. Betrayal is in the shocked, deeply pained look on her face, her eyebrows drawing together, her stare inward. “I talked to you yesterday and you saidnothing. Not one damn word.” Her lips pinch tight as she jumps up from the bed, her arms crossing over her chest, pacing back and forth beside my bed.
I hang my head, guilt crashes through my body like large waves in the ocean, threatening to knock me off my feet. Maybe I should have told her, but it seemed selfish at the time, despite the danger surrounding me.
I hadn’t counted on Max being there for me, either, though I am damn grateful he was.
My words come out fast, my tone and eyes pleading with her to understand. “Vanessa, you were dealing with your brother. I didn’t think it was the right time to burden you with something so heavy.” Taking a deep, pained breath, I close my eyes, pain in the back of my throat. As much as I wish I could go back in time, I know I’d make the same decision all over again.
My best friend needed to be with her family, and I pushed my problems aside so she could focus on them, instead of me.
Seeing the hurt on my face, Vanessa stops pacing and comes over to me. Wrapping her arms around me, she says, “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, Irelynn.” She gives me a big hug, then pulls back, her hands on my arms. “The thought of you being here alone just scared the hell outta me. I’m angry you didn’t tell me and were willing to risk it.” Vanessa looks down at the floor for a minute, then lifts her face to mine. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here and though I understand your logic, you should have told me.” She frowns, still upset that I withheld so much until now.
“I’m sorry, Vanessa.” I look at my fingernails, twisting the ring on my finger, a present from my dad when I got accepted to MVU nearly four years ago.
“There’s no way you should have been alone, and I’m glad Max was kind enough to come back and stay with you. But Irelynn, you put yourself at risk. If Max hadn’t been there…” She squeezes her eyes shut, a long sigh falling from her pink lips. Opening her eyes, she regards me with concern. “You know that, right?”
I sigh as well. “I know that. Luckily, I’m fine and now we just need to figure out what to do going forward.”
Vanessa smiles at me. “One good thing about William’s return: you met Max. He is hotter than hell and seems super sweet.”
A huge grin stretches my lips up, happiness lighting up my insides. “He really is.” I grab a pair of black sandals from my closet and put them on. “Let’s go for breakfast and I’ll tell you all about my weekend with him.”
“Good, cause I want all the details.” She pulls her keys from her pocket. “And I’m driving.”
“I won’t argue with that.” Sitting on my bed, I quickly put my shoes on, then follow her out of my room.
Relief lightens my body, my muscles relaxing now that Vanessa is no longer angry with me. If she’s ready to eat breakfast, she’s forgiven me.
As we head to her car, a lump forms in my throat. Now that the conversation about William is over, she’s going to ply me with questions about what is going on with Max.
Swallowing hard, I slide into the passenger seat, pulling my seatbelt over my torso. Biting my lip, worry courses through my body, making me tense.
I have no idea how to answer any of the questions I’m certain she’s going to ask.
Chapter twenty
Irelynn
August27,2018,8:30a.m.
As we wait for our breakfast, Vanessa fills me in on Josh and her grandparents. Her mom reluctantly agreed to let Josh stay with them and he’s going to be attending a private school near their house. She even agreed to sign temporary guardianship over to them.
