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Sophia is mumbling while I take both our packs out of the back of the truck. She joins me at the front and accepts her pack. As she’s slipping it on her shoulders I ask, “Need to use the bathroom or anything before we go?”
Tugging her lip between her teeth, she looks to the ridge and then the cabin. When her eyes land on me she sighs and slides the straps off her shoulders and hands me the pack before crossing to the cabin.
Once she’s back and we’re both ready, I set out toward the pathway we’ll follow much of the way up the hill. It’s not a path wide enough for more than a four-wheeler, which is why I say it’s the best for hiking. Less people. Which also means it’s perfect for Sophia.
Time ticks by quickly as we walk in silence. The sun is now high above us, the temperature rising fast. In the distance, I see darker clouds that have me reconsidering the length of this hike. But I’ve been here long enough to know the clouds don’t necessarily mean anything. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours. Other times they just move along.
I stop as the path begins to curve and take a pull from my water bottle. Sophia catches up to me, a ballcap now secured on her head, and follows suit. She’s discarded her hoodie and it’s now tied to her pack. Her tank is snug across her chest and I quickly turn my attention away from her. We stand for a few minutes looking out at the valley below. I’m not one to throw around words like beautiful or breathtaking when it comes to nature but I can admit the scenery here is both of those words. Beyond the various shades of green are small streams that weave through the vastness as they connect to a much larger river.
“Wow. Look at all the colors. All of those wildflowers. It’s amazing.”
“Right? The first time I came up here, I was blown away. Western Washington is its own kind of serene but something about these mountains and the views takes it to a different level.”
“I agree.” She looks at me quickly and smiles.
Instead of responding, I take my phone from the pocket of my shorts and motion for her to turn around. “Smile,” I instruct. She does and I snap a few photos. When I’m done, she turns and looks off ahead. Without telling her, I snap another photo. This is Sophia. Not the woman being stalked and living in fear. No, this is her in every sense of the word.
We have a little farther to go before we hit the spot with a canopy of trees that will offer us a reprieve from the sun. It’s where I typically stop to eat my lunch and rest. It’s also a good opportunity for her to decide if she’d like to continue or turn back.
Turning to face me she says, “Thank you for this day.”
“You’re welcome. How are you feeling? Okay to keep going a bit? There’s a turnoff up ahead that will work for us to sit and have a little lunch.”
“Sounds fantastic. When I packed it didn’t occur to me to include actual hiking boots. These shoes are fine but my feet would appreciate a siesta.”
“Let’s get a move on then.”
We continue our trek in silence. Sophia groans as the incline increases and I chuckle to myself. As the path evens out, we come to a large flat lookout with a few huge boulders and trees offering shade. I slip off my pack and turn to face my companion. Red-faced and obviously winded, she is staring at me with such intensity I feel uncomfortable.
I open my mouth to apologize. Clearly this last part of the hike was too much. But before I can say anything, she lifts her finger for me to wait while also bending at the waist to catch her breath. I take a step forward, grabbing her water bottle from her pack that she’s dropped on the ground and hold it out to her.
“Th-tha-thanks. Whoa.” She stands and takes a long pull from the bottle. “Holy crap, that was one hell of a hill. I consider myself in shape, but wow, that was a lot.”
“Sorry,” I say sheepishly.
“Don’t be. I just need to do more strength training.”
Sophia unties her sweatshirt and places it on the ground before folding herself into a sitting position. “I brought some protein bars and trail mix. Want some?”
“How about we share?” I ask, pulling out packs of dried fruit and jerky.
We set out our snacks and dig into the small meal. The shade keeps the sun from beating down on us. The dark clouds I noticed earlier are more ominous as they roll in the distance. While we eat and talk, I keep an eye on them, just in case. I’ve learned that rainstorms blow in through these mountains quickly. While it’s nowhere near the kind of powerful storms you see in the south, they can be intense.
“You mentioned that you go to therapy.”
“I did.”
Sophia turns and tilts her head to look at me. “Does it help?”
Her question catches me off guard. I assumed someone in her situation would be years into therapy of some sort. My issues are nothing compared to what she has endured these last few years and to imagine going through all of that without the guidance of Dr. Le or Dr. Vail seems impossible.
“It doesn’t hurt.” She laughs and pops a handful of trail mix into her mouth. “Seriously, as much as it pains me to admit, I think it may be helping.”
“After I left school, I saw someone back home. She was kind and tried to help but I don’t think I was ready to do the work therapy requires.”
Leaning back on the boulder, I cross my legs. Her words hit home and I remember having those same feelings when I met with Dr. Le. What I really wanted was to numb myself and ignore every emotion that hit me in waves. It wasn’t until I saw the sorrow in my mother’s eyes. It was a look you only see in a parent after they have buried a child.
“It took months before I accepted the process or that therapy was something I needed. Of course, I didn’t have a choice.”
