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Angel nods and ten minutes later, she’s telling Julia—a sweet, motherly woman who lives a few houses down—all about meerkats while Kelly and I head out to shop.
When we return, it is dark, and Angel is sleeping. We unpack the groceries and other goods and Julia and Kelly talk for a moment. When they’re finished, Kelly says to me, “Do you want to come over really quick? I think I might have some old blankets and toys from when Caleb and Carly were little.”
“I can stick around for a little longer,” Julia says.
“What do you say?” Kelly asks. I agree and we tiptoe out of the house and head next door. It’s strange to feel like I’ve had a good day. It’s strange to feel like good days can even exist anymore.
We walk over and when we step through the door, I say, “It’s nice of you to do this.”
“I have ulterior motives,” she says. Then, she makes a good day even better. She gets on her tiptoes and puts her mouth on mine.
CHAPTER FIVE
Kelly
God, I need this.
I try to separate the emotional side from the physical as my tongue explores his mouth and I let my hands run over his muscular chest. I try to think of it as just a release of physical need because this nagging idea that I’m betraying my husband’s memory won’t leave me. Of course, there are a number of other practical things running through my mind. What would the kids think? What if I’m making emotional promises to him?
But I need this, and even though I’m certain I need it for more than just physical release, I can’t keep myself from trying my best to make it meaningless sex. I know it’s an impossible task but impossible or not, I’m trying. It’s such a strange thing, and all at once, I realize this man is going to be my first partner since my husband. That fact is almost shocking and it increases the physical need, which is a good thing for me right now because I think for my emotional stability, I need to set aside the rest.
And then, abruptly, Raymond pulls back. He says, “Kelly, I don’t know what’s happening tomorrow. I know I want things to happen tomorrow and after. I mean, I want to see if things can happen between us. I want to see if… I want to see if there are any possibilities, but I need to tell you something. I don’t know what there will be with the two of us in a week and I can’t commit to anything just because I want those things. I don’t know if you want tomorrow and next week or…” He shakes his head. “The point is, I want this, right now. I want it because I want all the rest.”
“I think I do too,” I say.
“But listen,” he says, “I want all the rest but I can’t promise it. I want right now and I want all the rest but I don’t know if all the rest can happen. So, I want to be satisfied with just right now. But I can’t have it right now if it makes you rely on the rest of it. I can’t promise the rest. I want to. I can’t.” He shakes his head and says, “God, if this was a movie that all would have come out clearly and romantically or whatever.”
“It came out just fine,” I say and press my lips to his again. I don’t know how him just verbalizing all of the same worries I feel made mine recede to the background but it did. How does that even happen? How can he tell me things are very complicated at the moment making all of the complications irrelevant?
Fuck it.
I’m not interested in exploring that concept at the moment. I’m interested in exploring the man holding me. I kiss him more passionately and just in case there’s any lingering doubt about my willingness to take the risk, I move my hands down and start pulling his shirt up and out of his pants. It’s probably too much to say that he comes alive at that moment but it’s not too far too off. His hands move down and one takes hold of my ass.
Dear God, it has been too long since I’ve felt a man’s hand there!
His other hand moves up my front and stops at my breast. He massages it through my shirt and bra and again, my first thought is how it’s been too long since I’ve felt a hand there. My need is so great I can’t wait. I disengage from him for a moment and grab his wrist. “I don’t want to go upstairs,” I say.
“Are your kids back?” he asks.
“No,” I say as I pull him to what the real estate agent called an office and what I think of as the guest bedroom. “I just don’t want to wait. There’s no bed in there yet, but there’s a nice old couch that will do.” I feel like the words come from somebody else and not me. This doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I would say or do.
The moment we’re through the door, I kiss him again but he pushes me away and a moment later all I see is my shirt as he pulls it off me. Whether or not this seems out of character for me, I want it desperately and I reach behind my back and unhook my bra.
As soon as my breasts are free, Raymond’s eyes widen. I feel a rush of confidence at the way he looks at me. I’m not young anymore and I never thought of myself as a supermodel even when I was, yet Raymond looks at me like I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.
If there were any lingering doubts at all, they disappear quickly when he suddenly pushes me back on the bed and yanks my skirt and panties off. I don’t even have time to cry out before he slams into me and the breath is driven from my lungs.
He thrusts deep and hard and I immediately realize he’s bigger than any other man I’ve been with, including my husband. The thought sends a wave of guilt through me but that guilt is overwhelmed by the pleasure I feel as he holds my legs in the air and fills me with his cock.
“Oh Raymond, yes!” I cry out when oxygen returns to my lungs. I can already feel my climax approaching and I can already tell it will be the most powerful one I’ve ever experienced. I feel another wave of guilt at that thought and it comes at the worst possible time because as soon as I think it, my orgasm hits.
I scream and my pussy pulses hard over his cock while my clit shivers and throbs and my entire body shudders with the force of each pulsing wave of pleasure. I hear him groan and feel his cock twitch inside me and immediately clasp his ass and whisper, “Cum inside me. Yes, Raymond, fill me up.”
When he is finished, my own orgasm is still raging and though the guilt I feel is powerful, I hold him inside me for several more minutes until my pussy no longer convulses around him.
CHAPTER SIX
Raymond
