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“Only tea or water for you,” Victor interjects.

“Oh, Vicky, I just knew our little Lux would make you happier. Why so tense?”

“Lux?Mother, you will have no association withher!” Princess Mary shouts.

“I do. She's sweet and tiny. Vicky loves her. I do too.”

The left side of my lips begins to twitch. If Victor’s own grandmother thinks—

Plop!The Princess faints.

Double cheer for me.Wait, did she faint because of Graham and Alba, or am I the culprit . . . again.

“We were hoping to have a tiny gathering, an engagement party while here, Lux,” Alba says as she and I stand in the archway of the sitting room. We, outsiders, watch as Burt raises smelling salts to Mary's nose.

Lady Sarah has been inching her way over to him for a while. Since Victor’s sole concentration is on his mother, he hasn’t noticed Sarah’s desire for Burt.

Hell, Burt hasn’t seen her googly eyes. Graham stands closer to us as if he’d rather be entirely removed from the situation.

Graham turns to us.“Yes, Lux, we were going to make the announcement tomorrow. Here, if that is okay with you, brother. Alba doesn't want it to be a fuss, and if it weren’t for my meeting Luxury, and—”

At the same time, I say, “Yes” to Graham and Alba having an additional wedding ceremony, Victor gives a constricted reply. “Graham, now is not the time. Our mother is having one of her bouts of—”

“To my recollection, Mumfaints once a day.” Graham jams his hands in his pockets. “As I was saying, Luxury, I met you and, the life teaming in you, I . . . I wouldn’t have noticed Alba otherwise. She’s not one for partying.” Graham takes her hands. “Alba, let’s just have a quick eventtomorrow, then we can head back to Australia.”

“Well . . . itisValentine’s Day, but we should plan,” I begin, eyes still on Grandmother Sarah, who has dawdled near the sofa where her daughter is unconscious. She’s leaning forward, allowing her breasts to splay before an unaware Burt.

“Oh, Lux, it doesn’t have to be all grand and extravagant,” Alba says just as Sarah gives Burt a reassuring back rub. His eyes snap in her direction, offering what I assume was her desired effect because his face turns near her breasts. He staggers back on his haunches and hands the vial to Victor, face blanched.

“Nope, not over the top, but exactly as you envision it,” I reply. Alba gives a weak smile as I rub her shoulder. “Maybe in a few weeks, when the sun shines—”

“The sun rarely shines,” Victor cuts in.

“I'm sure England has its seasons. Although, I’ll have returned to my life by the next season.” I test him.

“You will not.” Victor cuts in with no emotion at all.

Finally, Mary gasps, but nobody’s attention is on her by now.

“Vicky, stop being so beastly,” Sarah says. “We’ll have an engagement party this weekend. Tomorrow, I have Valentine’s plans. Burt.” She starts toward where the butler is stationed near the door, but Victor is near her in seconds. She purses her lips, bats her eyes, and then asks him to gather the best bottles of champagne.

“I'm afraid, Lady Sarah, we are all out.” Burt grins, deriving great pleasure in lying.

Not as much pleasure as Sarah’s response, as she twirls a finger around her silver hair. “Don't be naughty, young man.”

“Young, Lady Sarah?” Burt asks.

“You’re younger than me.” She smiles. Her pointer finger comes out for good measure, tapping his chest. “And if you keep being insolent, I will—”

“Grandmother.” Victor commands everyone’s attention with his stern tone.

“Oh, Vicky, let’s get in the swing of things. The day of love is tomorrow. The wedding—”

“A wedding?” Mary comes fully to and faints for a second time.

This time, though, I’m not the culprit.

34

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