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“Then end it with him before it goes any further.” His words are heavy, firm, final.
“Have I given him a proper chance? Not every relationship starts off with furious butterflies, does it? It got complicated today, and he didn’t necessarily run away from it. Isn’t that a good thing?” Every word I utter tastes like chalk in my mouth.
Greyson shifts on the couch facing me, my hand somehow clutched in his. “But you just said you didn’t feel any chemistry. Have you given up looking for it? I’ve never known anyone who reads romance novels like you do, devouring them. It’s been your dream since college to have your happily ever after.”
His intense blue eyes bore into mine, and the fluttering of my heart ricochets in my chest when his tongue darts out to wet his lips. How effortless it would be to lean in and give into the forbidden feelings coursing through my veins. To erase the tension with one kiss. A real one. Just like in those happily ever afters.
But I can’t.
“We don’t always get what we want.”Or what we think we want.
The thick silence stretches between us, and I wish for once I was brave enough to ask. Did he really think that kiss was an honest mistake?
“You deserve love, too. What about Rowan?”
His jaw flexes as he casts his gaze beyond me. “We’re just friends.”
Are we just friends?
Every time I’m in his space, near him, the more I don’t know the answer to that question.
Before I can dig, he sits up straight and changes the subject. “I have to tell you something.”
He glances toward Theo’s shut door and turns to me, his face freaking me out with the ferocity painted on it. “After practice last week, Theo asked me some pretty heavy questions.”
Hunching over, his elbows on his knees, he exhales a deep breath. “He overheard someone at SoS talking about us and how you and Preston used to be together.”
A wince curves between his brows, and I cover my mouth with my hand. Why would anyone be talking about us now after all these years? “What did you tell him?”
“The truth, Scar. I can’t lie to him.” He backtracks when he sees my face pale. “I didn’t go into detail, but he asked if Preston was his dad and not me.”
Oh, my God. Sour bile coats my throat. Stealing a look at my son’s room, I want desperately to reassure him he’s right where he should be—his father’s house. “No. Oh, God. This is not okay. Why would someone be talking about this and for those thoughts to be in his little head?”
Greyson reaches out and lays his heavy hand on the crook of my neck, his thumb resting against my throat, goosebumps popping up over my skin without my acknowledgment. “Hey, hey, I reassured him we were his parents and that we love him very much. He seemed settled and okay afterward.”
He drops his hand to his lap and I sit quietly for a minute, my heart breaking, my pulse erratic, before speaking. “Are we ever going to be free of everyone’s judgement? It’s been twelve years and people are still talking about it? Who did he hear it from?”
“He said he didn’t know them, just overheard on the trail during a tour.”
Slumping back into the couch cushions, I squeeze my eyes shut, tears building up behind them. Our past is our past, not our son’s and having him question who his father is?
A surge of panic seizes me, and I reach out to grab hold of his hand and clutch it close to my chest. “Please, please don’t internalize any of this. Do not go down a rabbit hole again. I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
He crushes my hand, forcing me to look into his eyes as he shakes his head. “I’m never going down that road again, Scar. I promise. You would never lie about Theo being mine. I hate he had doubts, but I’m glad he came to me. About gave me a heart attack, though.”
Grey let go of my hand, and I wish he’d take it back. He always knows the right words to say, the right things to do, and he handled this thing with Theo much better than I would. He’d be scraping my body off the ground once I passed out due to fried nerves and a serious case of mom guilt.
“Being a grown-up sucks, doesn’t it?” I force out a small laugh to cut the apprehension.
“Yep. Big time. Want another cookie to feed our feelings?” His eyes dim but he still manages a classic Grey smirk.
“Definitely.”
