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twenty-two
scarlett
Exiting Greyson’s office, I shrink as I pound down the stairs. Heart racing, I lean against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut. After getting that beautiful dress with Savy, the possibility of Grey lifted me. Kellen, a distant memory and obstacle I had yet to put away, is now center stage. It’s a chore to spend time with him and unfair to keep him around when it all continues to come back to that man upstairs.
A total mess. My fingers scrub my face raw. I don’t even know how I got here. It’s like I woke up and decided to grow feelings for my best friend. A classic romance novel in the flesh.
Only now we’re all four going on a double date together. This spells disaster. What’s a good excuse to get out of this? Acid reflux? Because that’s what I’ve got right now—stomach churning and twisting, acidic bile boiling, a headache rupturing behind my head. Surely this isn’t normal.
An office door slams shut and footsteps thud down the stairs. I push myself further into the wall, watching as Greyson flies around the corner toward the rock-climbing area and a group of clients obviously waiting on him, leaving a trail of his woodsy cologne.
He’s so hands-on here—giving climbing lessons, hiking tours, even attempting archery. The challenges do not deter him—they fuel him.
I think about his animated blues whenever he’s talking about work and the passion oozes out of him and infusesme. Without him, I wouldn’t be where I am, happy in a career I didn’t think was even possible.
As a dad… he’s simply amazing. He doesn’t know this, but I spied on him one day with Theo, teaching him to ride a bike with no training wheels.“Just hold on tight, bud. Daddy’s got you. If you fall, I’ll be right here to pick you up. Always.”
Always. He’s always there.
At every avenue, there’s Greyson, his steady heartbeat to comfort me, to challenge me to never give up, to encourage me to be the best version of myself. The tender organ in my chest ruptures with admiration and gratefulness.
My breath leaves my body when I hear him. Greyson laughs at whomever he’s speaking to and I can’t help my lips from curving upward and my eyes close, absorbing the magical sound. His blue eyes hold a fire so bright it burns. Would it be so bad if he were to incinerate me, engulf me?
In this corner of the building, my body aches with a new kind of ailment, an ailment of the heart. It cracks wide open and exposes the truth underneath all that flesh and bone.
The man in front of me, my best friend, the man who’s been the one true constant in my life, the one I orbit around without even realizing it, is who my heart longs for. He’s the hero of the story, the dashingly handsome rake falling to his knees for his lady, the spirited boy next door.
Fate has a sneaky way of smacking you in the face.
And I just got pummeled. The one Iloveis right here in front of me, has been all along.
I pause, letting a wash of unaltered feelings run over me and watch him adorn the rock-climbing gear for his class. The light streams in from the windows, highlighting the bronze streaks in his dark wavy hair. I adore the way he rakes it back with his long fingers before placing his ball cap back on his head and how he stands with his hands gripping his trim hips, a devastating smile lighting up his chiseled and stubbled face.
My chest expands as all the tiny moments we shared over the years flood in, leaving me gasping. It’s always been him. The reason I never moved on after Preston, never gave second glances to any of the men I dated. I was being pulled to shore by him, bit by bit.
But another wrench in this thing we call life twists deep as I watch Greyson climb the wall with the vitality of a man taking advantage of a second chance on life.
There’s always a but, always an obstacle in the way before the happily ever after. This one is big, monstrous, impossible even.
We share a child. A child so important, even friendship is a better option than dismantling the solid ground we’ve placed him on. I’d rather be alone than risk what we already have. Pain rips into me as images of our accidental kiss and the night I took care of him slam into me. I’ll never get to be that close to him again.
My fingers dig into my chest, my very being heavy with the truth.
We can’t be more than friends. There’s too much to lose.
Therefore, I roll my feelings back up the red carpet and tuck them away in the recesses of my soul. Although I yearn for that once-in-a-lifetime love, the all-consuming kind—the stability of my son’s life matters more. What if we try this and end up with broken hearts? What if everyone is wrong and I amjustthe friend and mother of his child? I can’t bear the idea of exposing my entire soul to him only to be rejected, doomed to watch in agony as he falls for another. That will happen anyway, but at least my heart will be protected and Theo safe in his parents’ love for him.
One last glance and a choked sob before I shove away from the wall and do what most mothers do—sacrifice myself for my child.
