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twenty-four
scarlett
It remains light out, the moon playing hooky for a few more hours. Lazy summer days fade into the evening with its tease of twilight. I used to live for these nights as a kid, staying up late, no school, each day a new promise, a new opportunity. Now, I’m all grown up and still wishing for those opportunities, those promises.
I ease myself onto the exterior of the building, its rigid form holding up my limp body. The warmth from the brick seeps into my back and digs into my outstretched palms. Closing my eyes, I replay what Grey told me moments before.
I don’t know if I should be angry or happy with him. On one hand, he force-fed Kellen things about me so the man would have something in common with me rather than let him figure things out. But on the other hand, he paid attention to those parts of me no one else noticed and isn’t that what I wanted? A man to know me inside and out? Why did it have to be Grey, the one man I can’t really have? And Kellen? What an asshole. I should’ve picked up on it sooner, should’ve listened to my gut.
I heave out a big breath and open my eyes to see Greyson standing in front of me. His head is dipped low, his unruly wavy hair begging to be swept back, and his hands are shoved deep into his pockets, looking every bit a little boy instead of the strong man I know.
“Grey,” I say softly, my words floating over the warm breeze ruffling my hair and swirling around my dress.
He lifts his head, his bright blue eyes full of shame. There’s tension in the air and I hate it. I hate we’re letting something like this bend our friendship.
I tilt my chin for him to join me, the hesitation obvious in the way he walks over and keeps a mile of distance between us.
“I’m sorry,” he croaks, his hands out—pleading. “I should’ve come to you sooner when I found out he was playing games. That’s on me.”
“Why didn’t you?” I have to know, no,needto know.
“Because I’m an idiot.” His voice comes out torn and defeated.
“My best friend would’ve warned me, told me some guy was a dick. But you didn’t.” My voice breaks and he flinches.
What is happening to us?
Instead of responding to my question, he sniffs and pinches the back of his neck. “Do you regret coming out here with me? To Montana?”
My heart races. “No, I don’t regret it at all. I’m about to open another center in a few weeks doing exactly what seems right. You know I’ve always loved the idea of fate and that feels like it was meant to be. Doyouregret me coming out here?”
“Fuck no.” The words rush out of him.
“What’s this really about, then?” I reach out to touch his arm, but he moves back and it’s my turn to flinch at his recoil.
“I keep interfering in your life and not in a good way.”
I study him in the waning light, shadows covering one side of him. He’s wound up, his fists flexing at his sides, his broad shoulders bowed in regret.
“Is this about Kellen, or are you still guilting yourself about that night?” He closes his eyes tight and I know I’m right. “It’s been over twelve years,” I whisper, hoping my gentle tone will get through to him. I can’t lose him to these thoughts—Theo can’t lose him. “Wehaveto move on from it.”
“I can’t.” His voice breaks.
The mangled phrase, a mere whisper in the wind is enough to tear through all my thinly veiled restraint when it concerns this man and my words rip from my throat in a frenzy. “Greyson! You’ve paid the price—made it up a hundred times over. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for you.” In my bones, I know, I’d be in New York, probably working alongside my mom, planning events for doctors, not married to Preston because we weren’t meant to be, and while that isn’t a terrible life, there’d be no Theo. Or Greyson. That’s not the life I want. My whole life is right here.
“I took away your choice. From the very beginning, I took away your chance to make choices about your future. Don’t you see? Your dreams were shattered because of me.” His eyes are wild and half-crazed with his erratic emotions.
How can I get him to understand I forgave him a long time ago? “My dreams weren’t really dreams. More like passing fancies. I was in college. Most people change their minds repeatedly before they graduate.”
He curls his fist even tighter and his voice spills with pain. “I got you pregnant, Scar. Something like that should be planned and when you want it, not forced on you. I took advantage of you.”
I hold my hand up. “Stop. No. You didn’t. I’ve never felt that way. Not once. We were both at fault, both under the influence. You know this!”
He shakes his head, his teeth grinding, the sound audible from where I stand. “It doesn’t matter. I fucked up and I keep doing it. You should hate me. It might make things easier if you did.”
I look past him to the mountains framing the golden cloud-streaked sky, fighting the tears building in my head and clogging my throat. Turning back to him, I walk a step closer and lift his chin, forcing his glossy ocean eyes to mine.
“What will it take for you to accept my forgiveness?” I choke down a sob. “Do you honestly want to hear that for weeks I prayed the baby was Preston’s and not yours so I could get back my fiancé? Is that what you want to hear? That I begged Preston to take me back, but he ignored me, and I cried until I had no more tears, and I was numb—a shell of the person I once was?”
