Page 71 of Rugged Heart


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twenty-six

scarlett

Restless. The word of the week. I wake up restless, I move through my workdays restless, and I go to sleep restless. My mind flirts with futures and my stomach churns with possibilities. If I take this risk and it doesn’t work out, where does that leave us? I’m not ready to give up my best friend and the mere notion of going through this life without his signature crooked grin and infinite patience sends me to brittle pieces. To have his love and then lose it? I won’t recover. But at this rate, there’s already a wedge between us now that his feelings are out in the open.

Another image pierces through me.Preston.

Savy said he wouldn’t care, but he and I have a history. We were once lovers and planned our wedding. Blush pink peonies and ferns among vases of baby’s breath. Cream lace dress with a lavender belt. Tan suits against summer skies.

He’s incredibly happy, that’s not of question. Savy’s his perfect match and I’ve never been more content watching their love grow and their family expand. It’s apparent my fear isn’t Preston resenting me, but of Grey and I not working out and losing everything precious to me, including P and his family.

I hang my head and bang it on my desk. Now is not the time to have an existential crisis, especially when the gala is only four days away and I’m up to my eyeballs with to-do lists.

“Scarlett?” Layla knocks lightly on my office door frame and slides into view, holding a to-go coffee cup with the Java Drips signature logo on the front.

She tiptoes to my desk and places it on the corner amid all the mess of papers and folders I should sift through and organize. Sensing my frazzled state of mind, she only nods her head toward the steaming cup. “He dropped it off a few minutes ago. Said you might need it and I agree. Did you brush your hair this morning?”

I glare at her as I gingerly pet my blonde strands. “Yes, I did. I’m a bit distracted at the moment.”

Her wing-tipped eyeliner dips along with her eyebrows. “Drink up, boss, before it gets cold. And if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

Sighing, I straighten up, shooting her a faint smile. “Thank you. I know and I will. I just need time to process some things.”

“Does it have anything to do with that dejected-looking cowboy who brought this for you?” She pops out a hip and her white leather skirt swishes with the motion.

My tongue burns as I take a sip. That dejected cowboy knows me so well. Caramel, light whip, dark coffee blend, extra sugar. “It’s complicated, Layla, but as soon as I figure it out, we’ll chat, okay?”

“You got it. For what it’s worth, I’d kill to have someone take care of me the way he does you. Men my age are still little boys.” Her long honey hair shakes with her wry laugh.

“Some never grow up, but others…” I trail off and she nods her understanding before leaving me to go back to her desk. Others grow up and become the unicorn of men and yet…

My phone chimes with a text and I slide open my messages, only to cringe.

Kellen:Just wanted to let you know the building and stable will be complete next month, two weeks ahead of schedule.

Scarlett:Thx, I appreciate the update.

Kellen:I was wondering if you’d come out so we can talk. I need to apologize.

Scarlett:I don’t know if there’s anything left to say.

Kellen:Please. It won’t take long.

Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I take a breath. I don’t owe the man anything. Anything at all.

Scarlett:I accept your apology, but I think from now on, any interactions should be about the center.

Kellen:Okay. I can respect that. Just wanted to say if there’s anyone who deserves you, it’s Greyson. He’s a good guy, and it was shitty what I did to you two. Good luck with your project. It’s for a great cause.

Scarlett:Thank you, I appreciate hearing that.

I steeple my fingers and press them to the inner corners of my eyes. With so many people pushing us together, why do I still fight the inevitable pull toward Grey?

* * *

Shuttingdown my computer for the day, my phone chimes again. I glance down at my screen and it’s a voicemail from Greyson. I didn’t even hear it ring. He’s given me plenty of space this week, arranging for Cali, the sitter, to pick up and drop off Theo because he knew I needed this time to figure things out. Why does he have to be so perfect?

“Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to say I miss you.”

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