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He blows out a breath in the message. “It’s not the same when I don’t get to see my best friend. I know given what’s going on, it’s understandable if you don’t want to talk to me, and uh, I’m willing to give you all the space you need. But Theo is asking questions and I don’t know how to answer them. Hard to tell him I’m in love with his mom and not have him look at me sideways.”
Another exaggerated exhale. “God, I’m sorry. This isn’t helping at all, but you think you could come eat dinner with us tonight? I’ll pick us up some food on my way from work and we could eat together. Doesn’t have to mean anything, just to ease the kid’s nerves a bit. I think he’s wigging out about camp, too. Okay, I’ll see you later. Just text me if you can’t come. I’ll understand. Bye.”
After the voicemail ends, I clutch the phone to my chest and squeeze my eyes shut.
Theo.
I’ve been hurting my son by avoiding his father, and that’s the last thing I want to happen. Dinner with them might be awkward given the circumstances, but Theo deserves both his parents.
I shoot Grey a text, letting him know I’ll stay for dinner. Maybe this is what I need—to be with my family, to feel like we’re a complete unit—and then I can see about taking the next step with the tall, dark, and devilishly handsome man. My heart leaps at the decision. Settle down, dear Scarlett, there’s still one person you should talk to first.
* * *
“She’s huge, P.”I run my hand through the coarse fur, her massive head swinging in my direction for what I assume is more affection. I press my palm to her wet nose and giggle when she snorts.
“Yet she still acts like the little calf I brought home. Chases the kids and the ducks as if she doesn’t weigh over 1200 pounds.” Preston leans against the fence, arms crossed, a sweet expression on his face as he regards Milkdud.
Sans suit, he exudes farm boy energy with his boots unlaced over dark denim jeans, and a maroon five-band tee. An inch taller than his brother with a jawline meant to cut stone, Preston is masculinity personified, but Greyson? Although identical twins, it’s his softer features, the sporadic stubble, random freckles, that rakish gleam in his blue eyes, and his tender heart I trip over for.
“Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d own a cow, did you?” I ask.
“You know that answer.” He smirks before straightening and reaching down for a bristle brush. Gently brushing her fur, he flits a glance in my direction before nodding toward the other tool. I grab it and begin stroking the other side of Milkdud’s body. We work in silence, more comfortable than awkward.
“Preston, I—”
“We’ve neve—”
We both speak in unison, and he chuckles. “You first.”
Ducking my head, I brush along her underbelly, careful of any delicate skin, mentally sifting through what I even want to talk about.
I take a deep breath and spit it out because I’ve learned there’s no bullshitting Preston—he sees through it all. “I’m in love with your brother and he loves me back, but I’m terrified it won’t work out. Then there’s you and how weird it might be for you to see us together. I haven’t even said it to Grey yet because I can’t bear the thought of telling him and then us failing and then it impacting Theo negatively.” I’m lightheaded from the biggest run-on sentence in history, but the weight lifts with the confession.
Preston straightens and strides around to my side of Milkdud, his blue eyes concerned yet full of relief. “Whoa. Hey, slow it down a minute before you hyperventilate.” He takes the brush from my shaky hands and guides me by the elbow to their barn and to a set of stools.
Sitting down, I swallow big gulps of air, my nerves exposed and anxiety clear on my face. “I’m sorry. I kinda blurted all that, and it probably freaked you out. I’m clearly going crazy.”
“Why?” he asks, angling his head, his hands resting on his denim clad thighs.
“Well, aren’t you? Freaked out?” I squeak, hysteria bubbling up, my heart jackhammering in my chest.
“Not at all. In fact, I’m relieved.”
My eyebrows crunching, I say, “Relieved?”
A slow nod and he takes my hands, looking down at them pressed between his large ones. “Yeah. Not only has Greyson been somewhat of a bear this week—okay, he’s been a total nit, but that’s not what I’m getting at here. Scarlett, I gave him my blessing where it concerns you. I didn’t realize maybe you needed it too. Mostly, I was worried about him. I completely disregarded you, and I’m sorry.”
Squeezing my hands, he releases them and sits back on the stool, propping a booted foot on the rung, hugging his knee. “I don’t regret a whole lot in my life, but I do regret not being the bigger man and sticking around for you. However, if I did, I would’ve gotten in the way of something special. I never would’ve met Savy, never would’ve left New York. I’d still be crunching numbers up in that corner office, but not happy about it.”
I bite back salty tears and let him continue, my voice box empty of words.
“I loved you and was happy with you, but my life now with Savy and the kids is.” An easy smile spreads across his face. “It’s unexplainable. It’s just the way it’s supposed to be. She’s the love of my life.” His blue eyes glow as he speaks about his wife. “I know you understand this.”
My head bobs because yes, yes, I do. Growing up, I believed in fate, coincidences never made sense, and so I attempted to live each day peaceful in the outcomes.
He turns his bright azure eyes to me. “If I recall, at one time you told me to let go of all the what-ifs and just listen with my gut. Now, it’s your turn. You guys are amazing parents, and if something didn’t work out between you two, you’d make it as smooth as possible for Theo. That’s just the people you are. You’re already family, and you’re not going anywhere, no matter what happens.”
“Gah, stop, I’m gonna cry.” We stand and I wrap my arms around Preston’s trim waist and sense my heart release the fear it’s been holding on to with every solid thump of his.
