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“I thought she said it was the filtering valve?”
“Uh. That’s what I meant. The filtering valve is broken.”
“Oh.”
Seth sighed again. “Nick, look. There isn’t any no-kill-shelter mafia. There’s no secret girlfriend and/or boyfriend.” He paused for a moment, took a deep breath and said, “And I’m sorry I kissed you on the cheek. I shouldn’t have done that. I know you don’t—”
“It’s okay,” Nick said hastily, not wanting Seth to take it backcompletely.Right? Right. “It just… surprised me. You’ve never done that before.”
Seth looked down at his hands. “Well, maybe I haven’t had a reason to.”
Nick felt like he was on fire. “And you do now?”
Seth shrugged. “There’s… things. About me. Things I haven’ttold you. Not because I don’t trust you, but because I wanted… I didn’t know how you would see me. After.”
“What things?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
That almost sounded like an insult, but Nick kept the hurt from his face. “Why?”
Seth looked back up with a fierce expression. It was familiar, though Nick couldn’t place why. “You’ve got this idea about what it means to be an Extraordinary. You think it’s a gift that will solve everything. But it won’t. You don’t have any idea what it does to a person, and how much easier it’d be to let it all go. To just let the bad things happen. But you can’t.”
“I would never do that,” Nick snapped. “When I become an Extraordinary, I’m gonna do good for everyone. I wouldn’t ever want it to go away.”
Seth laughed bitterly. “You say that now. Just wait until—”
“I know you never wanted it,” Nick said, standing up from the bed. His head almost hit the biplane. “Not like I do. And that’s okay. That’s your choice. This is mine.”
“Why? Why do you want this?”
Nick shook his head. “I’ve told you this before.”
“Right. Because of Shadow Star. Because you think he’s this person you’ve built up in your head. What if he’s nothing like you think he is? What if all you’re going to get is disappointment?”
“No,” Nick said, taking a step back. “It’s not—okay, itwaslike that. And maybe part of it still is. Because he’s amazing and brave, and no one can tell me otherwise. Just because you can’t do what he does, doesn’t mean you get to talk crap about him.”
“What changed? Why do you want to be one now?”
Nick’s skin was itching. It felt like his brain was leaking out his ears. “For the people. To keep them safe. Shadow Star can’t do it all on his own, right? He needs my help. If I can do that, if I can really help him, that’ll help Nova City, and then it’ll help my dad. And then maybe he won’t hate the way I am now.”
Seth looked shocked. “Nick, your dad doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t hate anything about you.”
Nick’s fingers were twitching. “Sure seemed like it this morning when he asked me why I had to be the way I was.”
“Are you sure that’s what he said? You have a tendency to… exaggerate things.”
Nick really wanted to go home now. The walls were closing in, and his thoughts were jumbled and angry. “Great. I didn’t know you felt that way.” He scooped his backpack up from the floor. “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”
But before he could turn toward the door, Seth tried to get out of the bed. He swung his legs out from underneath the comforter. Nick hadn’t been wrong. Seth was wearing boots. And sweats that clung to his legs. And the undershirt that was tight against his chest and shoulders. Seth groaned, clutching a hand around his stomach, gritting his teeth.
Nick took a step back. This wasn’t the Seth he knew. The Sethheknew was chubby and wore sweaters and bow ties and sometimes stuck his tongue out between his teeth when he was concentrating really hard. He was resilient and dependable and made Nick feel important.
This Seth looked strong, even though he also looked like he was hurting. The muscles in his arms bunched as he gripped his stomach, breathing through his nose. He looked like he hadn’t exactly lost weight—except in his face—but more so that it’d been redistributed and possibly turned to muscle.
Nick didn’t know what to do with that, especially since his brain seemed to have shorted out. “You’re buff,” he said stupidly. “Why are you buff?”
Seth chuckled through gritted teeth. “Hard work.”
