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Andthereit was.Therewas the panic that had been simmering at an increasing level ever since he managed to pull himself from the Westfield River to the sound of approaching sirens, the fishermen on the dock farther down the way still staring at him.Therewas the panic that he’d tried his best to swallow down.
It should have been nothing. Nick had made a stupid mistake, sure. He’d mademanystupid mistakes. He should have taken the pills when they’d been given to him. He shouldn’t have jumped into the river. He shouldn’t have spent thirty-seven dollars plus shipping on a ring from a drag queen.
And he should have been someone who his dad could be proud of. That way, Dad wouldn’t have had to ask why Nick was the way he was, as if he hadn’t been trying his damnedest to become someone different, to become someone better. Someone Extraordinary.
Maybe if Nick had been an Extraordinary to begin with, none of this would have happened. But he wasn’t, and here they were.
Dad was trying to take his phone away, and Nickcouldn’t breathe.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he heard his dad say through the storm in his head. “Nicky, breathe. Come on—holyshit,the smell—breathe, kiddo. Just breathe with me, okay? I need you to listen to me. Listen to the sound of my voice.” Nick felt a big hand press against his chest, familiar and safe and warm, and he latched onto it as best he could, struggling to fill his lungs. “In, Nicky. In with me. Breathe in, one. Two. Three. Hold it. Hold it. And out. One. Two. Three. There you go. That’s better. Again. In.”
Nick breathed. It hurt, and his heart felt like it was rattling around in his chest and throat, but he breathed. The storm began to clear, leaving the ache right behind his eyes.
Dad stood in front of him looking concerned, hand still pressed against Nick’s chest. Nick knew his dad loved him, and oh, did he love him fiercely in return. When Before became After, when hewent from two parents to only having one, he’d become almost obsessive about keeping his dad safe and healthy and whole. Losing one had almost destroyed him. Losing another would finish the job.
“What brought that on?” Dad asked. Even though Nick stunk to high heaven, Dad was still close.
“Phone,” Nick croaked out.
Dad frowned. “What about your—” Nick saw the moment it hit him. “Ah, kiddo. I’m sorry. I didn’t think.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s okay,” Nick said, trying to smile but failing spectacularly. “Just… don’t take it. Please.” Because it would be the only way Nick would know if something happened to his dad while he was at work. He couldn’t deal with the thought of that lifeline being taken away from him. “I know I messed up, but please don’t do that.”
“I won’t.” Then Dad grew stern again. “But that’s all you get it for. I’m going to call the service provider and restrict your data usage. I’m serious about this, Nick.”
“Okay.”
“Dammit, kid.” Dad shook his head, and Nick could see he wasn’t angry anymore. Only disappointed, and that stung even more. “What the hell were you thinking?”
Nick didn’t have an answer to that. He never really could explain why he thought some things were good ideas. “I don’t know.”
“You’re going home. I’m going to have someone drive you there, and you willstaythere. God help you if I find out otherwise, you understand me? I don’t have time to do it myself. Your stupid Pyro Star and Shadow Whatever are making more work for everyone.”
“Pyro Storm and Shadow Star,” Nick corrected automatically. Then, “What happened now?”
“Oh, no. Absolutely not. You don’t get to know anything. Grounded, Nick. Remember?”
Nick scowled at him. “I’ll find out from the television when I get home.”
Dad narrowed his eyes. “No TV.”
Nick gasped. “How am I supposed to stay informed? Do you really want your only son to not know what’s going on in the world? Current events are important to the shaping of my young mind!”
“I’m sure you’ll find some way to deal,” Dad said. “And while you’re sitting in silence without any electronic devices to distract you, perhaps you can use that time to come up with an idea or two about the changes that need to be made. Because the talk we’re going to have won’t be a good one if you don’t give me something.”
It was apt how he smelled, given the shit he was in.
The unfortunate assignment of taking Nick home was given to a rookie. He looked resigned at the outset, but when he got a good whiff of Nick, the resignation morphed into outright horror. Cap just grinned and slapped him on the back, saying something about having to start somewhere.
“You don’t give him any grief,” Dad warned as he handed Nick a plastic bag filled with his clothes, wallet, and phone. “If I hear you said anything butyes, sirorno, sir,you can bet that this grounding you’ve found yourself in will extend well into your thirties.”
“You can’t ground me into my thirties!”
“Watch me. Shape up, Nick, or you’ll find out what it’s like to be thirty-two and explaining to your friends that you can’t go out because your dad grounded you and you have to get home before curfew.”
Nick thought this could potentially be considered child abuse, but since he didn’t want to risk being thirty-two and not being able to get online, he kept it to himself. Instead, he said, “Whatever. You suck. Everything sucks. My life is so hard. No one understands me.”
“And I feel just terrible about it. Get home, get cleaned up, and do your homework. I’ll be following up with the school next week to check in and see how you’re doing. Anything I should know about beforehand?”
