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Seth rolled off him, lying on his back next to Nick, their shoulders pressed together. He turned his head just as Nick did, theirfaces only inches apart. “I know. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And then I had to go before we could work through it.”
“That seems to be happening a lot lately,” Nick admitted. Seth winced, and so Nick added quickly, “I know you have an important job to do. People need Pyro Storm; I get it. I’m not mad about that.” And it was mostly the truth, though it was still wrapped up in that complicated knot in Nick’s chest, tangled with love and jealousy and a thousand different things he didn’t always understand.
“It’s not fair,” Seth muttered, taking Nick’s hand in his own. Seth’s glove was slightly wet from the snow, but it was warm. “You know I’d rather be with you than be anywhere else.”
He did, but it helped to hear it said out loud. “I know,” Nick said, squeezing Seth’s hand.
Seth turned his head to look up at the ceiling. He raised his free hand above them and wiggled his fingers. Nick’s eyes widened when a small bloom of fire appeared. Seth waved his hand slowly from side to side. The fire followed, elongating as it took the shape of a miniature comet. The heat of it was comforting, familiar. He closed his fist and the fire snuffed out, leaving behind a wisp of smoke and the subtle scent of burning air. He dropped his hand back to the floor. “Things are changing, Nicky. More people know now, but I can deal with that. It’s everything else that scares the crap out of me. Pretty soon, we’re going to start applying for college. I don’t know where we’ll all end up.”
Alarmed, Nick said, “You still want to go to the same school, right? I mean, it’s totally cool if you want to do something else.” It wasn’t cool at all. He should’ve texted Jazz to see how she was holding up.
“Yeah,” Seth said. “You and me, okay?” He looked over at Nick again and kissed the tip of his nose. It tickled, and Nick squinted against it. “But I have to think about what I want too. Am I going to be doing this when I’m in my twenties? My thirties? Someone is always going to need saving. And who am I to turn my back on them, you know?”
“You’re not alone,” Nick said, leaning his head against Seth’s shoulder. “We’ve all got your back.”
Seth exhaled through his nose. “I know, but sometimes I want to be selfish. What about me? I don’t know what my future is supposed to look like. There are days when I imagine I’m not Pyro Storm anymore. Where I get to do stupid things before I grow up and get a job and pay bills. Normal stuff. I want to be able to go out with you and our friends for Valentine’s Day and not have to worry about being called away. Is that fair?”
“You’re allowed to want things.” Nick hesitated. “Being Pyro Storm isn’t all of you, but it’s a big part. Could you really let that go?”
“I don’t know,” Seth muttered. He sounded frustrated. “I won’t know unless I try. That terrifies me. Because if Ididtry, there’ll come a moment where someone will need Pyro Storm, and I’ll have to decide whether or not to do anything about it.” He rubbed his gloved hand over his face. “I don’t know if I can choose to ignore someone who needs help. What kind of a person would that make me?”
“Human,” Nick said. “It makes you human.”
Seth laughed, though there was no humor in it. “But I can do things most people can’t, whether or not it was because of the train accident or …” He trailed off, looking off into nothing.
Dangerous ground, this. Seth rarely talked about the deaths of his parents. He’d been too young to remember most of it, and he’d been one of the only survivors.
“Or?” Nick asked, unsure if he should be doing so.
Seth didn’t speak for a long time. Finally, he said, “I wonder, sometimes. If I got this from them. My powers. If it was genetic. My aunt and uncle said they never saw my parents do anything like I can, but maybe they kept it secret. I did for a long time.”
“Do you remember them?” Nick whispered.
Seth turned to look at him again, studying him—searching for what, Nick didn’t know. “Bits and pieces,” he whispered back. “Little things. Dad liked to sing. He had a good voice. Not the best, but good enough. And Mom, she—” He closed his eyes. “I remember her laughing. It was a big sound. She didn’t try and hide it or cover it up. When she laughed, it was with her wholebody. There’s other stuff I can think of, but that’s what I remember most.” He sighed. “I don’t remember what they sounded like when they spoke.”
Here, in the safety of his room, while snow fell just outside the open window, Nick said, “That’s one of the things that scares me most. That I’ll forget what she sounds like.”
Seth looked at him. “Your mom?”
Nick nodded. His eyes were starting to burn, but Seth would never make fun of him for crying, so he didn’t try to shove it down. “It’s only been a few years, and there are days when I think I’m okay, but then I panic because I can’t remember what she sounded like when she was happy or sad or angry.”
“What do you do?”
Nick sniffled as he shrugged awkwardly. “Sometimes I spiral until I can barely breathe. Other times, I feel stupid about it. I guess it depends on the day and how my brain is. In case you didn’t know, I’m a little messed-up in the head.”
“I like your head,” Seth said seriously, and Nick grinned at him. “And you’re not messed-up. You’re just wired differently, like I’m wired differently.”
Nick groaned. “If only ADHD could be a superpower.”
“It is. You have the power to have a billion thoughts in the space of a few seconds. That’s pretty cool, if you ask me—even if you also say those billion thoughts out loud. But that’s okay, because you usually know what you’re saying.”
And because Nick was a sucker for reassuring compliments, he gave in kind. “I’m going to shove my tongue down your throat in a minute. Use the time I’m giving you to prepare yourself.”
Seth laughed loudly, covering his mouth to try to keep as quiet as possible. Nick laughed along with him. Even though this Valentine’s Day hadn’t gone according to plan, it was ending on a good note. They’d be all right, Simon Burke and Rebecca Firestone be damned. In this moment, nothing else mattered, because Seth Gray was laughing like he didn’t have a care in the world, and Nick had caused that. He’d have time to tell Seth about Burke later. He didn’t want to ruin this, not for anything in the world.
He watched as Seth started hiccupping into his hand. Nick reached out and pulled Seth toward him and kissed him with everything he had. Seth was smiling against his mouth, and though he didn’t shove his tongue down his throat (not for lack of trying), it was still good.
So good, in fact, that he rolled on top of Seth as they kissed, sliding his hands up Seth’s chest to his arms, grinding his hips down. Seth groaned, and Nick’s blood was rushing south. Seth seemed to be having the same problem. Seth wasn’t Boner Boy, and Nick wasn’t the rough-and-tumble oil worker, but Nick would be damned if he wasn’t going to one day get that superqueero penis.
