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11
Monday morning was cold and dark, like the depths of Nick’s heart.
“I guess I could be the brooding kind of hero,” he muttered. “Filled with rage and a lack of self-preservation, unable to stop fighting because it’s the only thing that makes me feel alive.”
“Yeah, let me know how that works out for you,” Gibby said, and he jerked his head up to find his friends staring at him in various stages of amusement. They were on their way to school, but Nick had been lost in thought, trying to figure out the type of superhero he was going to be. He hadn’t spoken to his dad since Saturday, ignoring the increasingly intense texts and voicemails he’d left. Nick hadn’t been home, either, and now wore chinos and a cardigan—the only thing Seth had that fit him, much to his dismay. Seth made it look good. Nick looked like a defeated professor who hadn’t gotten tenure.
They’d spent Sunday researching the far corners of the internet, searching for any sign of the new Extraordinaries. While Seth and Gibby and Jazz had been all about Smoke and Ice and Burke, Nick had huddled over his phone, logging into his fic before dismissing it. If there was ever a time he didn’t feel like writing, it was now. Closing it (and disappointing his legions of fans), he’d turned toward looking for anything about Miss Conduct and TK. The internet failed him once again, and though he almost looked up the queer bars in the city to see if he could find where Miss Conduct performed, he left it alone. Seth was right. She deserved her anonymity, if that’s what she wanted. And now that Burkewas chasing after them via Smoke and Ice, it was better that Miss Conduct stay hidden for now.
The searches for Guardian hadn’t yielded anything that Nick didn’t already know. There weren’t any clear pictures of her, cell phone cameras nowhere near as ubiquitous as they were today. Nick read through multiple news stories about her, but they were old and mostly archived. Nothing about her identity, only that she had appeared one day out of nowhere, foiling a kidnapping of an ambassador’s husband by a gang of radical separatists. From there, it was stopping bank robbers, assaults, and that time the large globe in the Financial District had broken free from its moorings, rolling down the street and nearly crushing a group of nuns on holiday from their convent in Lithuania. Guardian had saved them at the last second.
And that was it.
It didn’t help that Nick had neither taken Concentra in two days, nor been able to use his powers. No matter what he did, he couldn’t so much as move another cup. He’d spent Sunday afternoon in the Gray house under the watchful eye of Seth, Martha, and Bob, straining to no avail. He was frustrated, his thoughts jumbled and roiling.
All in all, not a great start to the week. He couldn’t even relish in the fact that he’d slept over at his boyfriend’s house, given that Bob had set him up in the spare room with the stern warning that Nick and Seth werenotallowed to sleep in the same bed. “I was a teenager once,” he’d said, arms folded. “I know what goes on in your minds. Oh, it’ll start off innocent, but then there’s Vaseline on the ceiling and where will we be then?”
So, no. Not a good Monday in the slightest.
“You’ll figure it out,” Jazz said. “And I’m totally on board with the montage idea. I even downloaded a soundtrack for it so it feels like a movie. Fair warning, it’s mostly Gregorian chanting because I have wide and varied tastes. You’ll get used to it.”
“My soul is withered,” Nick said in a growl, trying to sound like the hero he was meant to be. “I want to reach out for help,yet I don’t know how. I’ve always been a loner, but I use that as an excuse to not let anybody get close, scared that they might see me for who I really am.” He looked off into the distance, contemplating the despair that fueled him. “I want someone to love me for who I am, darkness and all.”
“Oh boy,” Seth said. “It’s a good thing I already do, then.”
“Yeah,” Nick said. “But you could get hurt because I let you in, and I don’t—don’t—” His throat closed. His eyes bulged. He tried to talk but could only squeak.
“What’s wrong?” Seth asked, looking worried. He ran his hands up and down Nick’s arms. “What happened? Is it your powers?” He looked up as if he expected to see something floating above them. Nothing was.
“Holy crap,” Gibby breathed. “Is this happening right in front of us? Yesssss.”
“Quiet,” Jazz hissed at her. “We can’t interfere. We can only observe. We talked about this. You know how queer boys are in the wild. If they know they’re being watched, they get skittish and run for the forest.”
Seth blinked. “We runwhere? What’re you talking about?”
“You—” Nick managed to say. “You just told me you loved me.”
“Oh,” Seth said. “Oh. Uh, shits. Right. Um, okay, so—” He exhaled explosively, cheeks expanding. “Wow. Yikes. Okay. Hoo boy.” His face turned red, and Nick didn’t know what to do that didn’t involve lying on top of Seth and gyrating obscenely. They were in public, and Nick’s dad had made sure when Nick had started dating Owen that he knew the ins and outs of indecency laws. That was a conversation on par with lubed bananas, something Nick never wanted to think about again. “I didn’t mean …” Then Seth clenched his jaw and squared his shoulders. “No, you know what? Screw it. I did mean it.” He turned on the street and tilted his head back, shouting, “I love Nicholas Bell, and I don’t care who knows! He’s my boyfriend, and I am inlovewith him!”
Nick gaped at him, brain misfiring as it collapsed intocatastrophic shut-down mode. But through the storm, he saw a small ray of light, warm and sweet and kind. He watched as Seth spun around, announcing to everyone on the street that Nick was the best boyfriend in the world, and that Seth loved him. A man walking by high-fived him, telling him to get down with his bad self before continuing down the street.
Seth dropped his arms, cheeks flushed, grinning widely as he looked at Nick.
And Nick said, “I—” He didn’t know what to say.
Seth’s expression softened as he took Nick’s hand. “I know, Nicky. You don’t have to say it back, okay? Not until you’re ready. It’s for you, yeah, but it’s also for me.”
Nick didn’t know if he was ready to say it or not, which seemed to be answer enough. He loved Seth, almost more than anything in the world. And since they’d turned from bros to bros who kissed and junk, that feeling had grown exponentially, new facets to it that Nick couldn’t completely understand. He felt something for Seth, something grand and exciting, but he couldn’t quite parse through it, not with any clarity.
So he blurted the only thing that came to mind. “Will you go to prom with me?” Then, “Dammit. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. There was going to be a flash mob and everything!”
“Good,” Jazz said sagely. “Good.”
Seth laughed, and Nick’s heart was so full, he actually thought he’d die. “Yeah. Yes, I’ll go to prom with you.” And with that, he threw his arms around Nick, kissing him hard right in the middle of the sidewalk. Gabby and Jazz cheered behind them.
“Huzzah!” someone on the street shouted. “Get your man!”
Seth pulled away but only just, pressing his forehead against Nick’s. They breathed each other in. “See?” Seth whispered. “It’s not all bad. We’ve still got good things, Nick. No matter what, okay? You and me. Always.”
