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My stomach dropped from my body at the way his eyes flickered over me, at the sincerity in them. He would not sleep in those blankets with me if I requested it. He would never push me or do anything I didn’t want. Despite what the queen made him do, Sahlyn was an honorable man. Not that he believed it. Yet.
“Keep me warm, Sahlyn.” My words came out breathy, with an undercurrent of something I should not feel, but did all the same.
His body shuddered, and his eyes widened. My boldness caught him off guard sometimes. He had been around either timid court women or muchtooaudacious women, and I was in between. It made him cautious yet surprised, and I loved having that effect.
“Let’s get some sleep, my lady.” He sketched a bow, and my eyes fluttered closed, readying for him to lie next to me. It wasn’t the first time, but things had changed between us since then.
Sleeping Arrangements
My eyes dragged over Autumn for the hundredth time in the last hour, not just because she was the best view—although thatwastrue.
She walked with purpose ahead of me. The trail up the mountainside was too narrow for me to walk beside her. Last night I had held her in my arms, savoring the feel of her slender body against me.
Every desire, every dream, every heartbeat had narrowed down to her. Autumn was everything good in this world. All the ballads of courageous heroes were about her. Even if we failed, if we all died, she was still a hero. She was trying so that no one that came after her would have to. She was a promise of light in the bleak darkness that had rained down on our country, which would keep getting darker until it blotted out all light.
Sleeping with her against me was a highlight of my life. If today I died, the memory of her warm body pulled flush against mine is what I would take to the Underworld with me. Unfortunately, I’d had to hop up in the morning before she woke, so she didn’t feel the evidence of how deeply I enjoyed having her body enveloped with mine. I was nothing but a killer, and I didn’t deserve Autumn in my arms, despite how good and right it felt.
After washing in a cool stream, I felt refreshed, despite having not slept more than snippets all night. I hadn’t wanted to sleep through the exquisite feel of her, nor did I trust our surroundings. Although I failed tremendously in the wood, I wanted to protect her. If it hadn’t been for her Iro, Goddess knows what would have happened. Even though the dark mist had not held a solid form, it had meant us harm.
We plodded on, making substantial progress according to Argen's crude map. I prayed we found a suitable place to camp tonight and we’d be at our destination by the following morning. It had not been a lie when I’d told Autumn we could flee. I would happily flee the country with her, hopefully getting her to safety before the queen's contract pulled me back or killed me. The latter would be preferable to going back.
My eyes ran over Autumn’s backside, and I had to swallow past the desire that lurched through me, knowing what it felt like snug against my groin. When the feeling rose to a torturous level, I took a calming breath and stamped all thoughts down. Navigating a knife-edged mountain pass was not the place to get to that level of excitement.
We traversed over the ridges of two mountain tops. The frigid gusts whipped against us, and with it came the crisp scent of frost. In all directions, mountains peaked, clouds fluttered past, carving around the high summits, and we’d caught sight of a great golden eagle banking on the wind. It was majestic. I’d never imagined being this far into the mountains. This uncharted land was likely under no country’s boundaries.
Finally, we descended the wild elevation into a tall pine patch as twilight pushed across the sky. It would have to do for the night, and tomorrow we would trek the next few miles to Mondu.
Autumn took down a couple of wood grouse she’d spied under some brush during our ridge trek, and my mouth watered as we found a natural nook of trees as a shelter. I was looking forward to a fresh meal. We’d even picked handfuls of wild blueberries as we’d passed them. Seeing Autumn’s grin as she’d handed me the fat purple berries she’d picked had pulled me out of melancholy thoughts of the queen’s wrath and our upcoming journey. Her joy in such minor things reminded me that life was incredible, and I was happy to be a part of hers—even if it was short-lived, even if I longed for more. More time, more trust, more joy. More of everything that was Autumn Snow.
Her sweet smile as she pushed berries into my hands would stay with me for a long while.
I gathered firewood as Autumn plucked the grouse. We built a fire, and Autumn gathered spruce boughs for bedding beneath our furs for the night. We worked, as always, in perfect companionship. Pangs went through my heart at the domestic comfort I had with Autumn. I had never thought it would be possible for me. Between the nights together, the easy conversation, and the pleasant silences we shared, I couldn’t get the thoughts of how much I wanted a future from my mind. A wife, a home, a life, children. I hadn’t allowed myself to even consider such things in the past few years of being under the queen’s contract and before that, I had been too young for settling down. But with Autumn near me, it was all I wanted.
I tried to shake those ridiculous thoughts from my mind.
The grouse was delectable, and Autumn’s moans of ecstasy disturbingly tightened my stomach. I had been anticipating and dreading our sleeping arrangements for the night. I wasn’t sure if I had the willpower to not let my hands roam, to not push myself against her. Just the thought made my heart race and my dick harden. I shook my head, trying to dispel such thoughts. I’d just have deal with it.
Autumn’s gaze snagged on mine when I looked up from my filthy thoughts. There must have been a lingering heat in my gaze because her eyes widened. Then something bloomed in them. Something that took my breath away. The unmistakable force of yearning. I knew mine matched it as we stared at each other over the flames. We’d been dancing around a primal urge for so long now, fraught with traveling together, of close confines, but what I felt for her was deeper than that. I had desired plenty of women and acted on some of that lust, but… this wasmore.
A log snapped, and we both jumped. I chuckled, and Autumn gave me a nervous smile. “We’re both expecting the worst. For something to jump out of the woods,” I confessed.
She offered a frayed laugh. “Well, considering what we’ve been through, who could blame us?”
Taking a long breath, I nodded. “We should get some sleep. Our destination is just through this forest.”
“Another forest,” her lips pulled thin.
“This one Argen did not mention being… cursed. So, here’s to hoping.”
Autumn groaned as she stood and stretched out the cramped muscles, displaying her sinewy body in the movement. I dragged my gaze away and back to the fire. I added more logs to ensure it continued through the night so we wouldn’t need to tend it frequently, then stood and stretched myself. Our woolen cloaks had been too warm to wear near the fire, so we’d laid them close to gather warmth. I grabbed both now and glanced at the forest shelter. It looked pretty cozy with the fur and bedrolls over the boughs.
Autumn came over to me, and I handed her the cloak without looking at her face. I knew what I would see, and my gut churned with longing to be close to her again. The blatant desire that surged frightened me, especially knowing I couldn’t act on it, even if she shared my yearning.
Mondu
Sahlyn settled in at my back in our little pine boughs and fur nest. His warmth seeped into my bones, and his dark wood scent enveloped me as his arm looped around my waist. I snuggled in against him, pushing my backside farther into his front. His breath shuddered against my ear at my movements.
“You… You might want not to do that again,” Sahlyn’s voice came out breathless and gravely.
