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So, as I watched the queen run a finger lovingly over the gilded mirror’s frame, I held back nausea that threatened to spill my breakfast across her floor. In the mirror was the queen's reflection. I stood just far enough away for it not to catch me in its sinister mirage.
Amira’s voice rang loudly in the room. “Magic mirror standing tall, who’s the fairest of them all?”
I tensed as a fine mist curled around the queen and the mirror. The queen's reflection shivered and morphed into just her portrait. Colors intensified, and her beauty magnified to an ethereal quality. The mirror certainly made Queen Amira look the fairest in all the land.
“Mirror, mirror, gold and gleaming, whose heart needs to be torn and bleeding?”
Anxiety crept through me as I knew what came next. My heart thudded in my chest, and my palms sweated. I hated this. It made my skin crawl, and I felt my soul inch further from my body every time this happened. There was a special place in the Underworld for me, and I deserved it.
The vision wavered, and I swallowed hard enough Amira had to hear it. I swear the mirror took its time bringing the face of the girl into focus just to make me anxious, to pull all my guilty and horrified thoughts to the forefront. Sweat trickled down my spine with the suspense, and the reflections of what I would have to do consumed me.
Finally, a dark-haired girl came into view. Her looks were unusual, exotic, and accented by stunning golden eyes and a generous pink mouth. She was breathtakingly beautiful but not like the queen. None of these girls had the queen's overwhelming beauty, her intense allure. These were all just stunning village girls. How they threatened the queen was still a mystery, aside from envy.
The queen stared at the girl’s reflection for an uncomfortable amount of time, and that act gave me even more anguish because, again, I knew what was coming next. My skin heated, and I fought against shivers.
Slowly, she turned to me, her violet eyes bright with excitement, and my heart sped in dread.
“Huntsman, bring me her heart.”
I’m not asking you; I’m telling you
The next day, I sat astride Tevere with Lamen and Ativan at my side on their mounts. A handful of weapons from the earliest orders and the Count's hung from our packs. We would need a packhorse or a carriage with any more weapons, and I wasn’t willing to deal with either. The rest could wait until the courier arrived. These needed to get to the north so the others could see the wait was worth it.
I had much to lose if we did not deliver in a timely fashion. I wanted to make weapons in my family’s shop for the rest of my life. With Gregoire's engagement, my life was a bit of a mess, but my magic lay in creating weapons. It was what made me feel complete. I didn’t need a man, but a future I did. I needed something concrete to keep me grounded. Gregoire and the forge had been my foundation, but now… Well. I still had one of them, and I wouldn’t squander it.
My parents watched us with apprehension, but I saw pride in my father’s eyes. I had found him that morning at dawn and poured my heart out to him. He cried with me and whispered words of encouragement and love. He wanted what my mother did, but in the end, my father just wanted me to be happy—no matter what that meant. If I were never married, never gave them grandchildren, that would be fine with him. To have that kind of support meant everything to me. I had never known that he and Mother had tried to have more children but were unable. I had wondered why I had no siblings but had never asked. My father emptied his heart as much as I had, and it felt good.
I met his eyes and saw all of which we had spoken. He smiled softly. There was an understanding between us that hadn’t been there before; if I gained nothing else from this trip, I would be content with that.
My mother tipped her head when I waved. “Be careful, Daughter.”
I swallowed against rising emotion. Despite my dreams of adventure, I loved my family, my home, and our life. But I needed this if I were to settle into the life they wanted for me. I needed something for myself. This voyage would have to do.
“I thought you and Gregoire…” Lamen let the words trail off, and I bit back a sigh. I wanted to ignore his insinuation, but his gaze was expectant. Lamen was five or six years older than me. He was the first man on my list after Gregoire and had agreed when I told him Ativan was coming. Naturally, he wanted to look good to his superior since Ativan was the guard's commander for Geva. I had trained with Lamen a few times and found him companionable and efficient with a blade. He also helped at our shop sometimes, and my father liked him immensely. Honestly, I’m surprised my mother had never tried to set me up with him.
My eyes slid over his close-cropped dark hair, square jawline, and thickly lashed hazel eyes. For the first time, I realized he was pretty good-looking. He was the sort of man I wouldn’t mind sharing my life with. He was polite, easy-going, and quick to smile. Gregoire had been a great guy but was cynical and often in a gloomy mood. I guess with Gregoire; opposites had attracted.
“You never end up with your first love,” I said casually, but I didn't miss the way Ativan flinched at my words and instantly regretted them. Ativan had lost his wife a decade ago to a rare illness. She had declined over time, and no healer could help her. Her death shadowed Ativan. She had been his first and only love.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling like an ass. I glanced back at Lamen, who looked away.
Ativan sighed. “Gregoire was not for you. It is nothing either of you did; it just wasn’t meant to be.”
Lamen smiled, saying, “The right one is out there for all of us.”
I’m sure he was right, but did I want love? Did I want to be tied to one man for the rest of my life?
I excused myself from the table shortly after. The inn we had stopped at for the night was simple but clean, and I enjoyed the bath drawn for me. I slipped into bed and fell into a restful sleep. One day down, completely uneventful.
Unaccustomed to riding for so long, I had fallen into a deep sleep and relished the soreness of my muscles the following day as we made our way to our horses.
Two more days and nights passed without incident. There was only a brief window after dinner for us to train, but we used it after that first night. Lamen grew on me the more time I spent in his company. Without Gregoire’s silent claim over me, finding attractive traits in another was easier. Lamen was intelligent and thoughtful. He picked me wildflowers that I put behind my ear, and when the smell drifted to me, I smiled. Gregoire had never been one for gifts, and I couldn’t think of a single time he’d picked me flowers. The other man I had dallied with was an enthusiastic romp to get back at Gregoire when I had seen him kissing another girl. During that brief, exciting interlude, there had been no room for gifting.
My eyes flickered to where Lamen rode ahead of me, and he must have felt my gaze because he glanced over his shoulder. He grinned, showing straight white teeth. My heart skipped a beat.
Were we flirting? No. I was not interested in flirting.
But the morning continued, and I found myself blatantly flirting with him and enjoying every moment. Likely nothing would come of it, but it felt good to be comfortable with someone and to have an attractive man interested enough in me to flirt.
