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I slid my hand against the bulge in his pants, feeling his full size. He shuddered another breath. I needed more. I used the heel of my hand to rub harder. He moaned, and the sound made me bolder. I slid a few fingers across the inside of the waistband and felt him jerk at the sensation. Then I tugged the pants apart and slid my hand inside and over him. He thrust his hips against me, and I gripped the hard length of him with bold ardor.
My ministrations grew harder and longer in stroke. Sahlyn’s breathing grew harsher, and he threw his head back.
With a mischievous smile, I pulled his pants down over his ass, allowing his cock to spring free. He said something low that I didn’t hear. I ignored him as I lowered my head. I licked the head of his cock, to the bead of liquid that had again collected. He startled, his body rigid, his face snapped up, his eyes wide.
“I… Autumn—” But my mouth ceased his words as I licked up his length, my other hand gripping his hip. My hands and mouth moved against him until he gasped for breath, his fingers entangled in my hair.
I hadn't done this in so long, I wasn’t sure I remembered how, but with Sahlyn's groans, I gathered an easy rhythm and speed. His size made accommodations in my mouth harder, and a stain painted my cheeks as I couldn't help but think of him inside me. My core heated with anticipation, and desire bellied through me.
Sahlyn let out a rough moan. “Autumn—"
His release quaked through his body, and I continued to suck on him even after, sending him quivering with the sensation.
Eagerness sent heat across my core and lower. How long would it take for him to recover and be inside me? I was aware every man was different.
I moved to the curve of his shoulder, and he tucked me into his side. I allowed our breathing to calm before I got up for a drink.
Sahlyn watched me with a wistful, long-lidded expression. He looked satisfied, and my heart skipped a beat as my eyes swept over him. He really was the epitome of a stunning male. His cock had gone soft after release but seemed to come awake at my gaze. Slowly, I untied the rest of the laces of my pants and slid them down. Then, before my boldness retreated, I yanked the tunic over my head. My undergarments were the only thing separating me from Sahlyn's hungry gaze. He watched me as if I were a goddess reincarnated, prompting me to slide my underthings off tantalizingly.
I stood before him. The firelight at my back cast his face in shadows, but his eyes danced across every bit of my flesh. He saw every scar, every freckle, every dip and curve, every muscle I’d been told was not proper for a female to possess. Every feature I had thought wasn’t what men were looking for in a woman, but how Sahlynlooked at me made me feel cherished and desirable.
“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” Sahlyn said hoarsely, and I sent him a shy smile. The truth in his eyes was profound, making my heart soar.
I went to my knees next to him. His eyes snagged on my breasts, and a hand came up and cupped one. I threw my head back with a moan as his thumb caressed my nipple. I needed to be closer, so I slithered my bare body against him, my thighs straddling his waist. Heat pulsated through my core. I seated just above his cock, its firmness pushing against my backside, and looked down at him. His eyes clouded with lust and yearning, but something else edged them. Regret? Fear? I didn’t quite understand, but I didn’t give myself a chance to dwell on it as I bent down and took his mouth with mine. Soon we were too delirious with passion for me to care about the melancholy look.
“Autumn…”
I stifled his words with a firm hand on his cock. He sucked in a deep breath as I stroked him. Then, finally, I leaned up and slid my wetness across his length, and he choked on a groan and sat up. I expected him to lift me and settle me on top of him, pushing inside of me, but he did no such thing. His eyes were wild with raw need, but a tightness to his face made me shrink back.
“Autumn, I can’t.”
I lifted a brow and resisted the urge to cover my breasts with my arm at the tortured look in his eyes that suggested nothing but dreadful things. “What do you mean youcan’t?”
If he told me that he was married, I would kill him.
“It… It's not because I don'twantto.”
“Right.” I drew an unsteady breath and suddenly feltverycold. I began to detach from his lap, but his hands went firm on my hips.
Sahlyn stared at me a moment before cupping my jaw gently. “Autumn, I swear I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my miserable existence. I've wanted you since you held a dagger over my heart.”
“Then—"
He rushed on, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears, and I realized his sorrow's gravity. “The queen makes us swear celibacy to her. Everyone in her employ made a deal that we can't have intercourse with anyone but her.”
My heart stopped. “You've had relations with thequeen?”
I knew he was in the queen’s employ, but I had no idea sex was part of it. Was it part of his original contract with her, or had he… had they initiated that afterward?
And why did that matter so much? I shook myself.
Sahlyn’s sigh was deep and mournful. “It was part of my deal that I didn't know about—or at least not to the extent. At first, I didn't mind.” He glanced away guiltily, and I removed myself from his lap, my throat tight. He didn’t stop me.
“Amira is alluring, but the excitement wore off quickly, I assure you.” His eyes bore into my profile because I couldn’t look him in the eye. “If I could end my contract, I would. Believe me. Especially now. Autumn, it—”
He took a long, shuddering breath, and I glanced at him. I wanted to believe him because whatever was between us had progressed and strengthened. I thought I’d loved Gregoire and had desired him both physically in passion and intellectually in companionship, but what I felt for Sahlyn was explosive, consuming, and so muchmore.
That couldn't be healthy, right?
