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“You don’t have to say anything, son. You did everything I wanted from you and more.”
I exhaled shakily. “You’ve been Iro all along?”
“I have.”
I glanced back at the glass coffin. “You love Autumn, don’t you?”
Bereille followed my gaze and smiled. Affection apparent. “How could you not?”
I grinned—a genuine smile that only Autumn, even in sleep, could conjure from me. “Indeed. She loves you too, Bereille.”
“I know. I took to Autumn because I saw a shred of my niece's soul in her. Amira’s bargain with Renaud tied Autumn to all this because the wood witch needed a sacrifice, and the magic had already stolen the life of Amira’s daughter. It was an accessible cost. The witch barely had to expel any energy to garner the bargain into fruition for Autumn’s parents. I always wondered what they paid for that bargain. Perhaps, this. Maybe the dwarves' prophecy was the price for Autumn’s life.” His eyes went far away for a long moment, and we both digested the information in front of us.
All of this was a lot to take in. I tried to keep up, but bargains, curses, and deals weren’t my strong suit. Give me something to battle with my mighty sword forged by the love of my life, and you have my strength.
Bereille’s eyes swept over the coffin, and I saw tension radiate his frame. “I hope she can forgive me for not explaining things to her. The curse kept most of my answers cryptic—they still do. So, I’m sorry, son, that my tongue is tied, and I cannot help you further.”
“Seriously, Bereille, that’s all you are giving me?”
“I’m so sorry, my boy. I can’t…”
I thrust a frustrated hand through my hair, spared him one last exasperated glance, then approached the glass coffin on trembling legs. I didn't think this would work, but I had to try.
Slowly, I lifted the glass away. A breeze fluttered the ribbon in Autumn’s braid, and my throat tightened. Tears burned up my throat and surged to my eyes.
I licked my dry lips and poured out my heart to her. I explained that I didn't say the words because I was too shocked she could love me. Someone so full of light, love, and rightness could not possibly love someone as broken as me. I was undeserving of her love and her brilliant glow.
Autumn had saved me, and I had spared her. Our life debt had ended the moment I gave the queen the other girl’s heart. I had felt the break in the magic against my soul. Autumn must not have felt it because our debt was one of the only reasons she had trusted me enough to make the journey to Mondu, and I had let her believe it. I’d have died before allowing anything to happen to her; my feelings were close enough to a life debt, anyway.
“I'm in love with you, Autumn Snow. I may have come for yours, but you left with mine. Forever and always, it is yours.”
Nothing.
A tear slithered down my cheek to land on her arm.
Fuck. I had thought that would do it.
Love.
It's what Amira had and lost. It is what drove her to darkness. Having that once-in-a-lifetime love and then losing it. The trauma of that loss and how it had come about tortured her. Amira had ensured that whoever killed her would leave behind people that would feel the same way. That torment of losing the one they loved. Amira had set it up that way, but as Bereille suggested and even Autumn had once, all deals and bargains have a loophole.
Yet, Autumn still didn't wake.
My heart thudded. I didn't know what else to do. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from breaking down.
I had failed again.
As I stared at Autumn, I felt then what Amira had felt losing her husband and daughter. I had lost the one thing that was most important in my life. I would take her place a million times over.
I cursed the skies, the soil, the world. I sobbed, screamed, and cursed some more until I was spent with the ache.
Then I slowly lowered my head. I needed to say goodbye. I needed to smash a mirror. I needed to help the others rebuild. Margarite and her baby boy, the Feist royals. It all needed to be righted. Choosejoy,not sadness; life, not death. That had been Autumn’s words before she’d broken Cabro’s curse. That’s what Autumn would want. She’d not want someone to weep at her lifeless body but someone that would stand up and fight for tomorrow. To fight for change. To fight for the things that were left, the people that were left.
So, I leaned further toward her full too-pale lips.
I could not break her curse. Autumn was the Cursebreaker, not me.
Argen. Maybe Argen’s love—the spiritual, soul mate connection they felt for each other was enough to break this. I would seek him out, but first, I needed to say goodbye. I wouldn’t return. I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t accept my failure to save her.
