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Which I’m not. Not at all. Not even a little bit.
“He’s here,” Robert whispers in my ear, wrapping an arm around my waist. “He brought a guest.”
When I shoot my gaze to the entrance, Robert turns me to face Mr. Watanabe and his wife who are sitting not too far from where I’m standing.
“Don’t look too eager. He brought his wife.”
My heart sinks. I feel sick.
“I should go.”
“I think that’s why he wanted to speak to you,” Robert mutters in my ear, his arm still around my waist. “Likely to be sure you wouldn’t out yourself to Elizabeth.”
I turn, searching through the crowd. My eyes hit the back of Ezra’s head and I struggle to breathe. Beside him is Elizabeth, her hand on his shoulder, the one that dons her platinum wedding band. Her hair is golden blonde and perfectly up in an intricate twist. From what I can see she’s wearing thin straps that lead to a stunning silver dress.
Then she turns as though feeling my eyes and her brown eyes light up when they see me. She smiles and I read her lips, “Ezra, it’s Rose.”
“You okay?” Robert asks as I try to take a casual stance beside him.
Ezra and Elizabeth are coming our way and Ezra’s eyes are burning into me, daring me to look at him. I don’t. I can’t.
Instead I focus on Elizabeth who hugs me. Something she has never done before.
“We have felt your loss so hard,” she says, squeezing me and then releasing me. “Ezra is struggling to replace you and I didn’t realize just how much you did for me before you vanished.”
I make a strange humming slash grunting noise because I don’t know how to speak. I scan her body in the sleek dress that fits her like a second skin, but I see no sign of a baby bump. She’s got to be sixteen or more weeks now. Shouldn’t she have something?
“What happened? Why did you decide to leave?” I’ve never seen her so happy and friendly, but then I remember she’s got her man back and a new baby on the way, of course she’s happy.
“Better job, better pay, better people,” I say and my eyes cut to Ezra. The bitterness in my tone doesn’t go amiss and Elizabeth’s smile falters. I quickly add, “Meaning Pax for example. I just couldn’t be where he was anymore.”
“He got arrested for harassing another coworker. Turns out he’s got a history of violence towards women but nothing concrete enough to put him away until now,” Elizabeth tells me with raised brows. “He beat his new woman so bad she had to have her nose reconstructed.”
I choke on a gasp. “You’re kidding?”
“You had a lucky escape,” Robert mutters and we share a look of agreement.
She didn’t though. How sad.
Ezra glances between us, he’s trying to catch my eyes. “He’s on bail pending trial and of course he has been fired from the company.”
“Something you should have done sooner,” Robert accuses, his body tight, his fingers digging into my side.
“I worried if I didn’t have his job as leverage over him, he would keep going for Rose.”
“That does make sense,” Elizabeth puts in thoughtfully, her hand now on her husband’s chest. I remember touching that chest just six weeks ago, I remember digging my fingers into the hard muscles of his chest. I remember the sound he made and how he whimpered when I ground down on his cock.
She suddenly sniffs the air, leaning closer to me. “You smell so nice, what is that?”
Truth be told it’s a fragrance Ezra had made just for me, a mixture of roses and sugarplums and whatever else. He was always so generous, forever surprising me with the sweetest gifts despite the fact I had very little to give him in return. It’s still my favorite fragrance.
“Excuse me, I need to use the ladies’ room,” I mutter, ducking my head and pulling away from them all.
“So how long have you been dating?” Elizabeth asks Robert but I don’t stick around for his answer.
I push through the crowd, smiling at people as I go and head to the guest bathroom in the guest bedroom. I half expected to find people making out on the bed like some frat party but thankfully that never happened. This party has become awkward enough.
I head into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. Can she see my guilt? Can he see my love? It’s shining from my eyes like light from a flashlight. I don’t know how to get a check on it all.
I wash my hands six times, to at least feel a little cleaner and less of a snake. Then I dry them, taking my time, and finally exit the bathroom turning to pull the door as I step out.
