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“Of us?”
“Why’d you have to be married?” I whisper as though saying it any louder will make others hear it too. We’re alone in the car, but I’m still worried somebody might hear us. “I can’t have an affair with you, Ezra.”
Our eyes connect, his almost a darker gray in this low lighting but no less vibrant. “Me neither. I can’t… I don’t want to hurt Elizabeth.” He rubs his face with his hands and rests his head back as far as the headrest will allow.
“I know.”
“But I don’t want to lose you.”
I squeeze his hand on the gear stick. “I know. But…” I notice Pax walking out of the building and towards the parking lot. “Drive. Let’s talk about this somewhere else.”
He glares at Pax as he backs out of his space and drives us to location unknown. Pax doesn’t even glance our way, I’m not sure he saw us.
“I’m leaving your mom’s tomorrow, I’m going home.”
“Oh? Are you sure that’s safe?”
I nod. “The police called today after we umm…”
“Did the number six.”
I giggle snort and slap his thigh. “Oh God. I knew that’s what you meant that night in the hotel.”
“I was just teasing you.”
“It wasn’t teasing, it was torture.”
“You felt it too?”
I look at his profile as he drives. “Felt what?”
“The chemistry between us.”
I roll my eyes and try not to laugh. “I didn’t peg you as poetic, Mr. Conti.”
“I’m a romantic at heart.”
“So you believe in true love?” I’m joking when I ask but when he looks at me his eyes are serious and his posture has tensed.
“I didn’t—”
I slap my hand over his mouth. “Don’t you dare say something super corny right now.”
He laughs loudly, not upset in the slightest. Then he brings my hand back to his lips and kisses it, reminding me of when he did that to his wife. I pull it away and tap it on my thigh, my shame resurfacing. “I didn’t expect that to happen.”
“It wasn’t exactly on my list of things to do for the day either.”
“I didn’t realize you felt the same way, I honestly thought you’d slap me. Or was it just… sex for you?” His eyes flicker to me and then back to the road.
“I’m not answering that question. It’s better left in the past with the number six.”
We fall silent for a while because we both know how wrong this is. How can we even try to justify this with words when there’s the chance that so many people are going to get seriously hurt.
“You know this can never happen again,” I say firmly, and he grips my thigh and slides his hand up my skirt. I inhale sharply and grab his wrist to stop this torture. “I’m serious, Ezra.”
“I love it when you say my name,” he mumbles as his hand slides even higher, reaching the edge of my stockings. “Do you always wear underwear like this?”
“Stooop,” I beg, my tone happy and long as I try to push his hand away.
“Do you?”
“Yes,” I gasp, gripping the seat either side of my thighs when he strokes my slit through my panties with a strong finger. “Don’t… anybody could see.”
“We’re in a moving car,” he points out, amused.
“We could crash and die.”
He has to remove his hand to turn a corner and I quickly pull my skirt back down and blow out a calming breath. “We need to go somewhere quiet so we can talk.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” I state simply. “I don’t want to talk. I just want to draw a line under it and move on.”
He frowns, his handsome face looking frustrated. “You didn’t enjoy yourself?”
“What?” I blink at him, jaw dropping, and eyebrows raised. “Are you crazy? Did you not… were you not in the room? This isn’t about whether I enjoyed it or not. It’s about the fact that I just helped you cheat on your wife and you’re acting like you don’t even have one.”
Finally the realization of the reality of all of this sinks in and his face contorts with pain. “Elizabeth… God… I.”
“Exactly,” I mutter and look out of the window.
“I forget about my life when I’m with you. How terrible is that?”
“Extremely.” I say the word but truly my heart skips a beat at his admission. I have that much power over him. The power to make him forget. I can relate.
“I’ve wanted you for so long… I didn’t stop to really think about this.”
“You have to go home to your wife, and you haven’t been able to shower after what we did,” I whisper, sounding and feeling as pained as he looks. “And I’m going to have to sit beside her and listen to her talk about her life, knowing that I have the power to rip it apart.” I twist my hands in my lap. “I don’t feel good about this. This isn’t the kind of person I ever wanted to be.”
