Page 89 of Becoming His Mistress

I laugh and look back towards the apartment again, and then towards the door. My fingers and thumb start to twitch. I want my stress ball. “We should have discussed this. What if I want to go to Seattle?”

“Then I’m still leaving my wife and I still need a place of my own.”

I inhale and then exhale. “You promise me that you’re not leaving her because of me? That’s just… it’s too much for my shoulders.”

“I promise. I’m leaving her because of me. I’ll never blame you for that.”

“Maria…”

“Is a strong, intelligent little lady who will adjust and will one day understand.”

Tears fill my eyes, I don’t know why, this just feels like a really sad and emotional moment.

He cups my face with his hands and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. “Why don’t I run you a bath, pour you a glass of wine, order dinner from the restaurant upstairs and then make love to you in our bed?”

“Okay,” I whisper, accepting another kiss. “That sounds good.”

Smiling brightly, he claims my mouth and devours me against the wall, deepening it only when I wrap my arms around his neck.

“Now you can say it,” he breathes, pressing his forehead to mine. “Now it’s safe for you to say it because I’m yours.”

I pull away from him, pretending to not see the hurt that flashes in his eyes. “I’ll unpack.”

“I’ll run that bath.” He stops in the doorway when I lift my suitcase onto the bed. “I love you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I know you do,” I reply sadly. “But I just… I need time to wrap my head around all of this. It’s moving so fast…”

“I understand.” He winks at me and vanishes through a door on the far left, leaving me to click my fingers and count to thirty-six before I can breathe again. I should be elated that a man wants me this much, but I guess I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s a lot to take in. Perhaps too much.

I always had this idea that he’d leave me one day. Not his wife. Not for me.

I hear the bath water start to hiss against the bath and focus on the sound to calm myself.

When he returns and finds me sitting on the bed he crouches before me and places his hands on my knees. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Did I upset you?”

I don’t want him thinking that I’m ungrateful or unhappy with what he’s done here, so the least I owe him is an insight into how I’m feeling.

“It’s the sneaking,” I mutter and grasp his hands as he lands on one knee and stretches so we’re closer to eye level. “I don’t like the sneaking and lying. There’s still the chance we’ll get caught and she’ll get hurt.”

“But… I’m single, you’re not fooling around with a man who is going home to another woman every night.”

“You’re not though, that’s the thing about marriage. You’ll never really be single until she’s moved on. There’s always the fear you’ll go back to her.”

“I’m not going back to her. Even if you leave me.”

“But what if she finds out about you having an affair and she wants to try again? Elizabeth doesn’t strike me as the type to just lose her husband to another woman. You love her too; you’ve loved her for longer.” I imagine them smiling and feeling giddy and afraid as they took their vows. It breaks me in half. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to be—”

“I wouldn’t be here all the time. This would be more your place than mine. I have to stay at my parents’ and have Maria there… but eventually, in a few months when the divorce is final and things have settled, we can start dating in public. Okay? What’s a few months really?”

I look around this amazing bedroom and look at this amazing man who steals my breath with just a glance. But then I think back to Seattle and how nice and chilled my life could be there with my killer apartment, new job, and no man troubles to worry about.

I don’t want this ache in my chest. I don’t want this fear of being caught.

I love Ezra, I know that I do, but is he worth all the drama that his decision will bring?

“How did she take it?”

He presses his forehead to my throat, and I run my fingers through his hair. “She was confused, angry… she thinks it’s because she doesn’t want more kids but that’s not it. She doesn’t understand what changed.”

“She’s going to jump to the conclusion of you having an affair soon and she’s going to start digging.”

He nods and stands, pulling me with him. “I can handle it. You don’t have to worry about any of that. Okay?”

I raise my arms as he lifts my T-shirt from my body, and then giggle a little when he pushes down my jeans and kisses my stomach.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com