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“Tests first, or talk?” he asks, reaching over me to grab my seatbelt. His lips brush against mine. That was crafty. It makes me smile.
When we’re both buckled in he starts the engine.
“Be pointless talking without any answers.”
“I need to know you forgive me for what happened,” he says, placing his hand on my thigh. “I don’t want you to base your decisions on the fact you think I’m an asshole.”
“My decisions?”
“In general. On whether or not you want to continue.”
“I get it. I understand why you did what you did. Stone said…”
“You’ve spoken to Stone?”
I shrug. “He emailed me.”
“He emailed you?”
“It’s not a big deal. I didn’t hear from him again.” I place my hand on his that is squeezing my thigh and lift it away before placing it on the console between us. “He just explained what happened with Nastya.”
“Don’t say her name, it makes my skin crawl.” He visibly shudders. “I didn’t want to. I needed to get her on my side and she was insistent. When she said Yaroslava was coming and started threatening you. I panicked. She had pictures of you on her phone.”
“Did you, finish?”
“No… hell I didn’t even begin, Tempest. I didn’t even remotely enjoy it.” He shakes his head as though shaking away the memory. “She’s a psychopath that likes to lead men around by their dicks.”
“Liked,” I murmur because she can’t any longer. “I’ve never been so scared.”
“Me neither. When I heard you scream and when you were attacked, I couldn’t do anything. They had me and I tried but I didn’t want to get you killed.”
“That part I understand. You did the best you could, Sargent. You’re not a superhero. As much as I’d liked to have seen you lay them all out without getting holes put in you, you’re only human and you were outnumbered.”
His hand goes back to my thigh but he mutters an apology and removes it. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. Or the easy brief life we had together before all of this.”
“Amen. How are you doing?”
“Not great. I’m struggling to sleep.”
His profile softens with mutual understanding. “Me too.”
“Tucker’s family…”
“Have been paid. I matched his life insurance and doubled it. He has a daughter, she’s thirteen but I’ve made it so she never has to worry about paying for college.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, feeling like crying again. I didn’t know him but seeing him so coldly murdered for no reason other than amusement has been so hard to get past. I wonder if I’ll ever sleep without seeing his eyes in my mind the second I close my own.
“You look beautiful today.” He’s being genuine but I know he’s using it to change the subject. “I’d really like to keep this going.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
He nods once, his lips a thin line as he maneuvers the car through Malibu and to a small apartment complex near the beach.
“My new home,” he says, shrugging. “It’s just temporary until something better in the area opens up.”
“Good luck with that.” I grin and we climb from the car.
He uses a key fob to open the double doors and leads me to the elevator. It clinks and hums as it ascends to the third floor and I try not to look at our reflection in the mirror on the walls.
He keeps an arm around my shoulder and kisses my hair before guiding me out the second the door opens and using a different key to open the door to apartment number eight.
It’s small and cozy, with two bedrooms and a balcony that extends from the kitchen to the master bedroom. That makes it easier to get midnight snacks, I guess.
“I’m terrified,” I admit, holding one of the boxes in both hands.
“Me too.” He takes the box from my hands, opens it, tears open the foil wrapper that hides the stick and then guides me to the bathroom. “You do your business and call me when you’re ready.”
I close the door, stick in hand and pray I drank enough water on the way to get a steady pee flow.
I pull off the lid, sit on the toilet and bite my lip as I position the correct end of the stick between my thighs. This is going to change everything. I just know it.
I stop mid-pee and quickly put the other one under me too. Then I clip the lid back on and place them side by side on the sink as I wash my hands.
The door opens as I stare at my reflection in the mirror wondering what kind of mother I’ll be. Sargent wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my neck. I close my eyes and rock with him as he sways us. I always felt so safe in his arms, not just because of how large he is but he just emits that feeling.
