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There was an aching timeless silence.
Thoughts flew through Hester’s mind. Did she want to save Radnor? With Hamilton Rand dead, did she have the skills? She had watched, but never done it alone. What if she made an error?
The doctor’s oath – first do no harm.
She thought of Orme bleeding to death, and Monk’s grief, which he was trying so hard to conceal.
How do you learn for the future, except try with the unknown?
Some things you discover, like fire. Others you have to invent, like the wheel.
It was Magnus who spoke. ‘I’m not as good as Hamilton was, but I’ll try. And Mrs Monk will help me.’ He turned to her. ‘Won’t you?’ There was pleading naked in his eyes, urgency. Surely not to save Radnor’s life. Was it to redeem the reputation of the hospital? And was he aware of the exquisite irony of using Hamilton’s invention to save the man for whose crime he was hanged?
‘Please?’ Magnus said softly.
If she refused, and with whatever reason she gave, Radnor would have won, or he would believe he had. Perhaps in the future she would believe it too. Excuses would become weaker and weaker until she knew them for lies.
‘Yes . . . yes, of course I will.’ She turned to Magnus. ‘We must be quick.’
‘Good,’ he accepted. ‘Thank you. Have him brought to the room we used before. The machine is still there. I’ll go and get the blood and prepare it. I know exactly what Hamilton did. Just . . . just take care of him.’ Before she could reply Magnus turned sharply and left the room. They could hear his footsteps fade away down the corridor.
A moment later a porter appeared with a wheeled chair and together they helped Radnor into it and as carefully as possible, took him to the transfusion room.
They lifted him on to the bed. Hester was horrified at how light he was, as if half the substance had gone from the man who had cut such an impressive figure in the courtroom twice, to give shattering evidence that had altered the courses of two trials. One had freed Hamilton Rand and sent him rising to the peak of his career. And the other had condemned him to be hanged.
Alone with him, Hester made him as comfortable as she could. He was feverish; she knew it even before taking his temperature, or his light, erratic pulse. She bathed him in cool water before helping him into one of the hospital nightshirts. She did it carefully, very gently so as not to further bruise his body. Adrienne could not have been more tender.
It pleased him, as if he had made her do it.
‘I travelled,’ he told her hoarsely. ‘I went to France, Mrs Monk. I stared up at the sun and watched through half-closed lids the coast of Normandy, great skies with the white clouds drifting across them like ships with gigantic sails set. I smelled the wind in the ripe grass, up to my thighs, tangled with wild flowers and scented sweet as heaven. I lay on the dry earth and made love under the trees, hearing their leaves whisper of eternity.’
She did not answer.
‘You think I’m going to burn in hell, don’t you?’ he challenged her. ‘Some religious hell of infinite pain, no doubt. It will be a new adventure, because I’ve already been to heaven.’ He strained to keep his concentration on her.
She looked him in the face, seeing the wasted flesh on it and the burning, challenging eyes.
‘I think hell is the vision of heaven you can’t taste or touch, Mr Radnor. A place where you gradually lose the ability to feel anything except anger and self-pity, and the infinite regret for what you could have had, but threw away. Eventually you will become an empty wraith, incapable of beholding heaven at all, even if you could imagine it, except as an old dream you can’t hold on to any more. But you will never forget that you could have had it, only you let it go.’
He stared back at her. ‘Damn you!’ he hissed between his teeth. ‘Damn you!’ All the hatred in his soul was in the words, and in his eyes.
Magnus returned, looking from one to the other of them. ‘Have you prepared him, Mrs Monk? We have no time to waste. It’s nearly four o’clock already.’
‘Yes, he’s prepared,’ she replied, facing Magnus and turning her back on Radnor.
Magnus nodded. It was some time since he had assisted Hamilton, far longer than since Hester had, so he was very careful and relied on Hester’s help. He attached the bottle of fresh blood to the contraption, checked that all the pieces were connected and working, and then inserted the needle into the vein in the crook of Radnor’s arm. He opened the valve and the transfusion began.
Radnor lay smiling, as if even watching the deep red blood enter his body brought him strength. Or perhaps it was his victory over Hester and Magnus Rand that seemed to invigorate him. After all he had done to Hamilton, it was Hamilton’s invention that would save his life, yet again. And Hester and Magnus would watch it.
It was slow. Magnus was meticulous. Everything was right. He had Hester check and double check.
By midnight, the procedure was completed. Radnor was sleeping peacefully, a half-smile on his face. Magnus was so pale and tense Hester was afraid for him. She sent word for Sherryl, whom she trusted both for honour and for skill, to come and watch Radnor. Then Hester persuaded Magnus to go to one of the empty rooms and lie down. Sherryl would send for him if there were any change. She accepted his order that she go home. She longed to go home to Monk and creep into bed beside him, feel his arms around her. Perhaps she would tell him all that she had felt, the conflicting emotions inside her. But, on second thoughts, it would be better not to speak of it at all, simply to be beside him.
In the morning both she and Monk woke up late. Monk was in the kitchen making a cup of tea and she was coming down the stairs when there was a knock on the door. She went to answer it, expecting it to be Hooper enquiring where Monk was. But when she opened the door it was Magnus Rand standing on the step. He looked haggard, and so pale he could have been on the point of collapse.
‘Come in,’ she said immediately. ‘Please . . .’ She stepped back to allow him to pass her and walk unsteadily into the sitting room. He collapsed rather than sat down in the large chair beside
the fire.
