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“I’m sorry for coming into your room without your permission,” I blurt, curse my conscience. “I got really worried when I hadn’t seen you all day.”
He shakes his head and waves me off, before sliding the tray onto my lap. “Thank you for the food, I’m full.”
“Okay.” I stare down at his almost full bowl and frown. Nathan can eat like a starving horse. He’ll lose weight if he goes through another day like this. He’s already lean and obviously toned but any more off him and you’ll be able to see his ribs. “I’ll just take these away and leave you to rest.”
He nods, his eyes watching me as I gather up the table cloth, careful to keep the crumbs inside, and pick up the tray. I switch out the light with my elbow and use my belly to balance the tray with one hand as I shut the door behind me.
Now what can I do?
I don’t want to leave the house just in case. Oh shit, I should have made sure he had his phone and that it was fully charged. I doubt I’ll be able to hear him yelling from all the way up there. Although I’d probably hear something if I were in my room.
That’s what I’ll do. I’ll do another jigsaw puzzle on my bedroom floor, there are a few in the closet in the room next to mine. I grab one at random and waddle back into my room, I tip the pieces on the floor after sitting on a pillow.
This is going to be a dull few hours until dinner time.
“More soup?” Nathan sounds awful. We situate ourselves on the bed like we did earlier at lunch. “Vegetable?”
“Leek and potato.”
We eat in amiable silence for a while, I’m pleased when he finishes the last of it with his bread. I remove the tray and table cloth and leave the room silently.
Nathan texts for me to go upstairs not long after I retire to my room and get ready for bed. I don’t hesitate to race to him like a lioness to her cub. Probably a weird comparison.
“What’s wrong?” I’m out of breath just a little and the baby doesn’t appreciate the jostling around. If its insistent kicking of my internal organs are anything to go by, I’d say he’s pretty darn pissed at being disturbed.
I see his hand in the dark, covered in black leather and it pats the bed beside him where the blanket is pulled back, almost doubled over on his side.
My mind tells me not to sit so I don’t, I look down at him, only a few inches from the bed. “What?”
“Sit,” he mumbles, his eyes closed.
“Why?”
His eyes open, the light brown almost glowing in the dark. “Sit.”
“Kay,” I sit. I don’t feel comfortable because for some reason I feel way too comfortable. Part of me is clenching inside, whispering things to my brain. Telling me to fill it with a forbidden tool.
I’m a slut.
His arm snags me around the waist, forcing me back into the pillow. My body tenses, “What are you doing, Nathan?”
“Using you as my radiator,” he lies and I know he’s lying because he’s making no attempt to hide the fact that he’s hard.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” It’s wrong, so wrong.
“I know,” he doesn’t sound like he cares though. “I like having you with me like this.”
“Nathan…” I warn.
He continues, ignorant of my tone. “Just while I’m ill. Just tonight. I won’t have the courage to ask you again.”
“This is a bad idea.” I sigh but find myself relaxing into him. “But it’s nice too.”
“Yeah,” he nuzzles the back of my neck, causing me to tense. “Relax.”
“Your thing is between my legs, Nathan.” I try to frown but it doesn’t come, especially when I feel him twitch. A fit of nervous giggles bubbles up from within. Nathan’s body starts shaking with mine, his laughter is silent. “Stop it, it’s not funny.”
“My head hurts,” he moans and seems to bury his face in my hair.
“Have you had any painkillers yet?”
“Yes Mum.”
I shudder, “Calling me that, right at this point in time, makes this even seedier.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Go to sleep Nathan,” I snort and place my hand on the pillow by my head and let out a long breath. “Nathan?” I call quietly into the darkness, my head swimming with thoughts.
He doesn’t respond, the only sound that can be heard from him is his soft breathing.
A line has been crossed. A line that should never have been crossed.
I sit at my vanity table freshly showered and preparing for the day, the mascara brush is held tightly between my fingers as I pull it along my long lashes. Green eyes stare back at me in the mirror. Troubled eyes with a million secrets and emotions hiding behind the clear irises.
