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I had to get a bikini wax the other day. It fucking hurt! A lot!
No way in hell am I allowing my baby to pass through a jungle on his way out.
“Go to sleep, I’ll be back in a few hours,” Nathan pulls me up the bed and pulls the blanket over my body. He even shuts the curtains for me and pinches my nose. “I’ll wake you when I get home.”
“Uh-huh,” I mumble and close my eyes. I love this mattress. I want this mattress. “Drive safe.”
“Promise,” he leaves the room after hovering in the doorway for a while. I imagine him looking longingly at the bed, wishing he could climb in and forget the world much like I’m doing. I’m being ridiculous though, I know this. Or maybe I’m wishful thinking. There’s a heavy thought I don’t want to address.
“Hey,” it feels like I’ve only had my eyes shut for an hour when Nathan wakes me up again. I check the clock. It’s been six, Christ. My nap turned into a coma.
Yes bump, I blame you.
“What?” I rub my eyes and sway a little after sitting up. “What is it?”
Nathan takes my elbow and pulls me from the bed. I really don’t want nor do I need to be awake right now. “I did something.”
“Uh-oh,” I feign horror. “Did you cook again?”
“It’s almost six at night, you haven’t fed me.” We step into the dark hallway, why aren’t the lights on? I hate the dark.
“You’re getting me out of bed so I can feed you?” I ask, my tone incredulous and impatient. I’m not the nicest person when I wake up. I try to turn around. “Order pizza.”
His answer is to pull me down the stairs whilst chuckling.
Hey, the archway is glowing. Oh my god.
Christmas lights!
They hang loosely along the top and sides of the archway, twinkling purple and white in no particular pattern. The wood floor holds the reflection of other dancing lights, I notice this as I make it to the last step. Nathan steps behind me and covers my eyes with one hand whilst guiding me by the elbow with the other.
“Okay, so, I’ve never actually done this myself before and it probably looks awful.” He’s nervous, I love it when he gets nervous. It reminds me that he’s human and not a robot.
I know what he’s done, he’s decorated the room for me. But the anticipation and excitement to see it for real is strong.
“Ready?” He asks and I hear him gulp.
“As I’ll ever be,” his hand moves away. I gasp. “There’s a tree!” I squeal and clap my hands before turning to look at the large room properly. My feet carry me to the fireplace where two stockings hang, I laugh and touch the red faux fur between my fingers and thumb.
There’s not a surface without something Christmassy, it’s amazing!
“Nathan,” I sniff, my eyes tearing with emotion. “I can’t believe you did this.” He shrugs, his head lowered, seemingly shy all of a sudden. I step into him and wrap my arms around his waist. “This is amazing. You… are amazing.” His arms come around me and we stand in the centre of the room, multi-coloured lights dancing across our bodies. The scent of pine wood and cinnamon fills the air.
It’s almost Christmas.
******
We spend Christmas day just the two of us, I cook for obvious reasons and Nathan cleans. We didn’t get each other much, mostly because we didn’t know what to get. Nathan made me a bracelet to match my necklace and a new phone which is way too fancy and complicated for me but I love it all the same. I got him ten new pairs of gloves which he laughed his arse off at and a new jacket which cost half of my savings. He claims to love it and wears it proudly but secretly I think he hates it and is just too kind to say anything.
Dinner is divine as I knew it would be and I made far too much. It doesn’t matter though, I’ll be having turkey and stuffing sandwiches for the rest of the week. I don’t know a thing that’s better.
Mostly we watch the Christmas movies on TV and play old board games that have more dust than pieces. We even try to play twister but I can’t bend so that was a bust.
By the time midnight rolls around I’ve drank my weight in alcohol free baileys and I’m stuffed to the brim with food. Exhaustion seeps into me, making me feel heavy and lethargic. Nathan sees my eyes drooping and takes me to bed.
I should feel guilty that on Christmas night I fell asleep with a man other than the one I claim to love so profoundly, but I don’t. If anything I’m just happy that even though Caleb’s gone, there’s a good man looking after me in his stead who wants to hold me tightly throughout the night.
