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Why’s it so damn hard?
Nathan joins me half an hour later, he’s slightly distant and solemn looking but otherwise okay. We watch the television in a companionable silence, my head resting on his shoulder and my hand across his chest. He doesn’t play with the ends of my hair like he usually does.
When I look up, I realise it’s because he’s fallen asleep with his head hanging over the back of the couch. I laugh quietly and run my fingertips over his brow, smoothing his hair from his face. He’s had an eventful day by the sounds of it, no wonder he’s exhausted.
“You’re staring,” Nathan’s lips twitch and his closed eyes flutter open, only to confirm his suspicions.
“How do you know when I’m staring?” I mutter, feeling my cheeks heat.
He shrugs, “I don’t know. It’s kind of strange actually.”
“Yep,” I completely agree with that comment. “Bed?”
“Yes.” Staggering slightly as he stands, he holds out his hand. I give him my wrist, as is habit. I’m shocked when his fingers slide from my wrist and push between my fingers until they’re laced together.
I get changed in the bathroom after brushing my teeth and washing my face. Nathan gets changed upstairs. By the time he’s done I’m already in bed.
It’s rare that we go to bed together, I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. I like our night time cuddles far more than I should.
He slides in usually after I’m sleeping and doesn’t wrap himself around me until he’s in the land of slumber himself. This time he instantly presses his front to my back and curls his legs with mine.
“I never thought I’d enjoy sleeping with somebody,” he admits quietly, his breath blowing the wispy hairs that lay over my ear and down my neck. “But now I can’t imagine a night without your body heat.”
That and my arse seems to be the perfect seat for his penis. Speak of the devil… ping.
This happens quite a lot, normally I don’t notice until the morning. I don’t say anything though and neither does he, though I just felt him tense slightly as if waiting for my reaction. In the mornings if I wake up before him I stay perfectly still and wait for him to notice, he usually rolls away from me or climbs out of bed and gets ready for the day.
Now it’s like there’s an elephant in the room. I should say something but what is there to say? The last time this happened and we were both awake it was awkward and funny. This time it’s not funny, it’s just awkward and a little bit of something else. Arousing.
We both lie perfectly still, as if waiting for the other to say something or to move. I bite down hard on my lower lip, a bit unnerved about what to do.
My leg starts to cramp so I relax back, wincing when his plaid pyjama bottoms tighten on his erect member as it slides between my thighs. His answering gasp tells me he definitely felt that too.
Soft fingers trail along my forearm, causing me to shudder. They travel up my bicep before tightly squeezing my shoulder and moving down my ribs. A warm hand comes to rest on my hip, my heart beat skips a few before beating a heavy rhythm in my chest. Everything tingles and I feel goose pimples rise all over my heated flesh.
A flash of pleasure uncurls in my stomach as his hand pulls my hip back into him. My hand clenches tightly around the pillow case near my nose. A whimper escapes me and I hear him let out a breathy moan.
His hips pull back, I know he’s not wearing underwear beneath his pyjamas because I can feel his warm skin move over his solid length, beneath the thin cotton. For some reason this causes me to tremble and ache. My eyes squeeze shut as I let his slow movement torture and tease me with something I can never have.
He pushes back between my thighs slowly, exquisitely. A quiet groan escapes him, his chest vibrates against my back and his lips come into contact with the curve of my neck.
Blood boils beneath the surface of my skin, I become overwhelmed with a hot flash of heat that won’t dissipate. Need unfurls in the pit of my stomach and travels the length of my spine as his teeth gently bite at the skin below my ear.
This is so wrong but I can’t stop it. The head of him pushes between my lower lips, forcing the fabric of my pyjama shorts to ride up in the most delicious way. It bumps against my clit, a cry escapes me and Nathan takes this as permission to give me more.
His hand tightens its hold of my hip and his pelvis grinds into me again. We shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be enjoying this but I can’t help it. I’m only human.
