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I don’t respond. He’s right obviously but it’s not like I have a stress switch I can just flick on and off. Not as much as I’d like. Stress is a part of this life unfortunately and considering the circumstances it’s no surprise I have a rather unhealthy dose of it.
Staring at his profile hurts and I wonder if that feeling will ever stop. He’s not a clone of Caleb, not at all, their differences are significant in looks and personality, but there’s enough of Caleb in his face to make me ache.
It’s all still fresh, it’s only been a month since he died. That’s not enough time to truly get over someone and this is Caleb. My Caleb. My first love, the first man I gave myself too.
I’ll never get over that.
“Why are you staring at me?” I see his lips thin to a white line, I’m irritating him.
“Sorry,” I mumble and stare out of the window. I just can’t decide whether it’s painful or strangely soothing to look at you, knowing that in my stomach isn’t the only piece of Caleb that has a beating heart right now.
There’s a gentle tapping sensation under the surface of my skin. I gasp and sit up, placing my hand over the bump.
“What is it? Is it the baby?”
“He just kicked me a little harder than usual,” I explain, still rubbing my abdomen. “It’s not a big deal. It just shocked me. I’ve never felt him move so obviously before, it’s usually just little taps and fluttering, but this was more prominent.”
He nods, seemingly appeased.
Time for silence.
He was right when he said I’d find his house to be of good taste. It’s really not what I expected, not in the slightest. This is a family home, it’s large and spacey with a lot of land surrounding it. We’re atop of a cliff but about three miles from the edge.
I noticed other homes as we ascended the steep incline but not one of them were as pretty as this one. Caleb grew up in the city nearby with his parents, it was the place he escaped. Not liking the hustle and bustle of a busy place, from a young age he searched for a smaller town and found mine.
I’m wondering why Nathan lives so far out of the way. Sure it’s only a forty five minute drive but it seems like an unnecessary one. This man is complex, I see that now.
“The fridge is full of food suitable for your condition,” he explains as he guides me into the entrance hall.
Condition? I’m pregnant, this isn’t a condition.
Sigh.
I take off my coat and watch him hang it inside a closet to my right. There are wide stairs to the left against the wall, before this is an archway leading to what looks to be the living area. Which is huge, very old fashioned and quite cosy if I’m being completely honest.
I’ve always been into modern and quirky furnishings but this place is all antique and comfort. The walls could do with brightening up from their deep browns and oranges. The hallway is beige with a wooden border to make up the bottom half.
“These lights are cool,” I remark and point at the candle shaped wall lights.
“If you get cold the thermostat is here, there’s one upstairs in the hallway. Just press the plus button until you get to the desired temperature and press this button,” he moves on to the next thing, showing me how to work the oven and the ice box. “I need to leave now. Make yourself at home. My number is by the phone in the kitchen, call me if you need anything.” He goes to leave, stops and turns back, “Your room is up the stairs, take a right and go up the three steps. It’s down that hall, two doors on the right. My room is on the next floor. Respect my privacy and stay out.”
“Kay,” I watch him leave, his body perfectly poised, his legs carrying him with a grace that shouldn’t be possible for his height. He’s a couple of inches taller than Caleb now that I think about it. It’s the hair that’s driving me nuts when I view him from behind. He needs to have it cut, soon he’ll be tucking it behind his ears like Caleb had to. I loved it on Caleb, I won’t be able to handle it if I see it on his brother who looks so much like him.
The wind is powerful up here, I discover this fact when I wander outside into the garden and the wind blew me back a few steps. The house is along a secluded path with nothing but a narrow road leading to it, between rows and rows of trees. This area is private, I know this because I just passed a ‘Trespassers Beware’ sign.
