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“Why midnight?”
“I went out.”
Gasp, “That’s what time you left? Are you crazy?”
He gives me a look that instantly makes me shut my mouth. None of my business, I keep forgetting.
“Ready?” He diverts the subject which I’m grateful for and leads me away from the fun.
“Aww, photo booth, Caleb loved those. We went to a place called Pleasure Island once and went crazy in a photo booth. Ended up with more strips of photos than walls to cover.” I smile fondly at the memory.
“Do you want to?” He motions to the small booth with a wave of his hand.
Do I? “No, that’s okay.” It wouldn’t be right.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I nod because I am definitely sure. “I’m actually kind of tired now that you mention it.”
My eyes close and stay closed before we even make it out of the car park.
******
It’s morning when I wake and the curtains have been pulled wide open. “It burns.”
“Come on, up,” Jeanine says and pulls the covers from my ‘could be’ naked body. My superman teddy almost falls from the bed, I snatch him back to my and rub my face in his silky fur.
“Why?”
“It’s eleven fifteen,” she says in a singsong voice. “And the skies are no longer grey. Can’t stay in bed when the sun is shining dear.”
“Okay,” I say around a yawn and sit up with my legs crossed, the bear nestling in the dip. “I can’t get changed with you here.”
“I’m leaving,” and leave she does.
As I decide on what to wear I can see all of my clothes have been neatly hung up again. I make a mental note to thank Jeanine later.
Wait…
I’m in my vest and knickers.
Gasp.
Nathan has seen me in my vest and knickers. Nathan undressed me!
Be calm. It’s all good. He’s seen plenty of women naked before… I think.
Why am I obsessing over this?
I get dressed whilst pushing ridiculous thoughts from my mind and quickly brush my teeth after washing my face. Finally I feel refreshed and my eyes aren’t sticking together.
“Knock, knock,” Nathan says instead of actually knocking. Although the door is open so I can understand this logic. I think. “Any plans today?”
“I was going to call Paula.”
“Do you need the car?”
“Umm,” I shrug and start running the brush through my hair. “Can I?”
“Yes, I don’t need it.” His eyes look me up and down as I sit at the desk turned vanity table. His light brown eyes linger over certain spots but I pretend not to notice. I shouldn’t notice.
“Thank you,” I wind the bobble around my hair to hold it in place and stand to face him, trying not to meet his eyes due to the awkwardness of knowing he’s the second man to ever see me in anything less than jeans and a top. Not including the times I wear dresses. “How do I look?”
“Pregnant,” he teases. I waddle past him, punching his arm as I go. “Oh and one more thing…” He throws me his car keys, I catch them clumsily. “No food or drink in the car.”
“Okay,” I start towards the stairs.
“Another thing.” I look over my shoulder and see him strolling towards me, so I turn to face him. “Go grocery shopping, buy what you want… within reason. No peanuts, no liver, nothing that’s damaging.”
“Really?” I smile, oh my god I’m smiling. He notices too and his eyes go to my mouth, his face softens.
“Really,” he holds out his wallet.
“You want me to take your wallet?”
“It only has notes in it,” he responds with a shrug.
My smile gets wider, “I should say no but I’m too excited for cake.” This moment gets better when he smiles too. “Thank you Nathan. I thought you wanted to come?”
“And deny the house cook her chance to shine?” I like this Nathan, he’s all friendly and teasing. It suits him, oddly enough.
“Have fun, drive safe.”
“Promise,” I say and descend the stairs. “Do you want anything while I’m out?”
“No.” I start to move again. Then I halt because he calls my name.
“Yes?” I add extra emphasis on the S, my eyes narrowed suspiciously. He’s stalling… but why?
“You don’t just look pregnant,” He takes a step down, his eyes coming to mine.
“I don’t?”
“No,” he shakes his head, his breath leaving him, “You look beautiful.”
My breath leaves me too. I… it’s… they… but…
“See you soon,” I shout quickly as my hand closes around the handle and pulls it open and close the door behind me. What the fuck was that? Maybe I shouldn’t swear but that was cause for cursing.
You look beautiful.
You look beautiful.
You look beautiful.
Is this a plutonic compliment? Surely he wouldn’t… couldn’t even think about such a thing. I’ve only just lost Caleb. It’s only been a month since his funeral.
This is so messed up.
I’m reading into it. All I ever do is overanalyse things.
