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“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I say quietly, my tone warning.
I move towards the house, my heart thudding and my face burning as my anger cooks. Who does he think he is? I’m twenty one, not five.
Nathan follows me in, his hands full. “You’re acting like I’m the bad guy here.”
“Aren’t you?” I bite back and start putting away the shopping. “What the hell is wrong with you? You seem to want to control everything I do.”
He runs the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip, his annoyance barely concealed. “I’m just trying to help you Guinevere.”
“Help me?” I scoff and spin to face him. “Well thank you, Nathan for putting a roof over my head and buying me food but that doesn’t mean you get to control my actions or what I do. I’m an adult. You need to remember that.”
“And you need to control yourself and your own actions before you end up harming yourself or that baby!”
I gape at him. He did not just go there.
“You’re grieving, your thoughts aren’t your own. Especially if you think it’s acceptable for a pregnant woman, to be carrying heavy things and driving at night.”
I laugh once, “You’re kidding right? How many pregnant women in the world have done both of those things and have lived to tell the tale? You’re being dramatic and completely intolerable.”
“Where are you going?”
“To get away from you,” I make my way to the stairs.
“I’m not done talking to you.”
“I don’t get it,” I spin on this shout, my hands on my hips. “Honestly, I genuinely don’t get it. I thought after yesterday we were friends.”
He cringes, “What about yesterday?”
“The Ferris wheel, the donuts, everything.” I half shout, my anger bubbling to intolerable levels.
“Just because I decided to be kind doesn’t mean you can put yourself or that baby in unnecessary danger.”
“Oh my god,” I laugh, seriously not believing this. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He shakes his head, a frown on his face, “Nothing is wrong with me. You’re my brother’s fiancée, I’m just trying to do right by you.”
“Stop bringing up Caleb!”
“It’s true.”
“And completely irrelevant!”
“But still true.”
I throw my hands up and turn away. I’ve had enough of this. “You’re impossible.”
“Don’t walk away from me.”
“If I could run, I would.”
“We’re not done talking.”
“Oh we are,” I look at him over my shoulder, my eyes connecting with his. He looks as angry as I feel. “We are so done. The sooner I get out of here the better.”
“And where will you go? What will you do?” He follows me up the stairs. “I asked you a question.”
Stopping outside my door, I place my hand on the handle and my forehead against the wood, “Do you know what is bad for a baby? Stress. And you are piling it on, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. You clearly can’t make up your mind on whether or not you like me, it’s best if I leave.”
Something seems to have struck a chord in his system because his face has softened, “You’re right. I apologize for causing you stress.”
“Your apology isn’t accepted. I get he was your brother but he was also the love of my life.” A flash of pain swims through his light brown eyes, it’s gone in an instant and I’m wondering why it came in the first place. So far he’s showed no signs of grief over the death of his brother. Has he been hiding it? Why? “I only put him to rest five weeks ago. I should still be a grieving mess but for you, to make you feel more comfortable I’ve been trying to perk up a bit. For everything that’s happened I haven’t had time to grieve properly. You of all people should be the main one to show me compassion right now.”
“I apologized.”
“It was insincere and I don’t want it anyway. Just leave me alone,” I open my door and step inside. Making sure to lock it behind me.
I rest my back against the door and listen to him sigh. “It’s not a good idea.” What? “This, you and me, the whole being friends’ thing. I was stupid to try.” Ouch.
His footsteps disappear from earshot after another minute, I let out the breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding.
Lying on my bed I touch my sweet Caleb’s face, my fingertips hating the cold feel of the glass that protects the photo. My mind wishing for real. A tear slides from my eye.
“I’m scared Caleb,” I admit and hug a pillow tight to my chest. “I’m so damn scared of doing this alone.”
His easy smile shines back at me and for once, it doesn’t comfort me in the slightest. I want to throw it across my room but my conscience tells me I’ll later regret this, so I refrain.
