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“Ouch,” I grin and make my way towards the stairs. “I’ll wait in the car.” He nods and throws me his keys, sighing – yet again – when I don’t catch them. They bounce down the stairs before sliding along the floor a few inches.
“Bad throw,” I comment before he can tell me I’m a bad catcher.
Which I am, but he doesn’t need to rub it in my face.
He responds with a scoff of disbelief as I scoop them up from the ground and rush out of the house. The air is chilly today, a tell-tale sign that autumn will soon be upon us. I don’t mind autumn so much, it’s winter that I can’t stand. I’m more of a warm day on the beach kind of girl. Or I used to be at least. Not anymore. Not the thrill of all of that seems much more like nonsense now when I don’t have my favourite person in the world to spend it with.
Soon I’ll have another person, I climb into the car stroking my belly. I wonder if giving birth to the baby will take away the pain. Maybe it will fill that gaping hole in my heart.
Nathan climbs into the car ten minutes later and we set off for the city. This time it only takes us an hour and a half, the traffic wasn’t too bad on the way.
I’m so excited by the time we get there, that I barely let him stop the car before I’m out and around to his side. This will be a great thing to focus on. Plus, what woman doesn’t want to decorate a nursery?
“Which room will be the nursery? We haven’t discussed it,” I ask as I place my hand on his arm and allow him to guide me along the busy street.
“There are two more rooms on your floor. Take your pick.”
“Which room was Caleb’s?”
He looks down at me, his face a blank mask, “He didn’t have a room.”
“He didn’t?” That seems a bit odd. “What about you?”
“Me neither, I’m staying in my grandfather’s room. Although I had it remodelled when I first moved in.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek for a moment, wondering whether or not I should push further. Of course I should. It’s in my nature to push. “You two must have been close?”
“That’s one way to put it,” he mutters conspiratorially. “Here.”
“This is a brand store,” I gawp at ‘Baby Dreams’, a pregnant woman’s dream and the expectant father’s nightmare. “This is too much.”
“I can afford it,” he states and pulls me through the automatic doors.
I’m immediately assaulted by a welcome blast of cool air from the fans in the ceiling. But it’s not this that makes me shiver, it’s the store itself. I’m in baby heaven.
“I should have written a list,” I mumble as I take a few cautious steps forward.
“We’ll start with the big things and work our way down.” Releasing his arm I head into the section where nurseries have been set up with a single wall behind each.
They’re all so cute and homely. I can’t wait to start papering and painting the walls.
“I love this,” I say as my eyes immediately zoom in on a strange green colour wall with white tree patters reaching to the top. The furniture is dark brown and glossy and I’m in love. “I really love this. It’s neutral and it’s… holy… mother of…” I start to choke when I see the price tag. It’s not extremely expensive but it’s a lot more money than I considered spending on just the heavy furniture.
“You’re sure?” He smiles at my look of shock. “You’re sure.”
Three hours later my ankles have swollen so we make our way to a nearby restaurant to stop for lunch. Nathan hasn’t said much although he insisted on glass bottles for the baby and everything that isn’t made of harmful plastic. I’m not even allowed disposable nappies but I don’t mind the washable ones, they’re pretty easy and last years. They have little poppers instead of Velcro and can be adjusted as the baby sizes up.
He even made me order the wool and water wet wipes, completely toxin and fragrance free.
After a while I let him take over, I wasn’t in any position to argue seeing as he’d done research and I clearly hadn’t, I was happy that at least one of us knew what we were talking about. He won’t even consider me using powdered milk and insists breast is best, which is right but also annoying. I was going to breast feed anyway but I don’t like being told I have to.
I’m happy with the amount we got, I can’t think of anything else we need right now. Secondly I can’t wait until it’s all delivered and I get to see it set up.
