Page 119 of Connected (Broken 2)


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He grips me by my shoulders and shakes me. “Gwen, you love Dillan. This isn’t his fault. Blame me, blame my brother, don’t resent him.”

“I…” A sob tears through me. “I can’t be here anymore. I need to go.”

“Gwen, please,” he begs, following me up the stairs.

I enter the bedroom, startling Sasha who is playing with Dillan on our bed… no, not our bed, but Nathan’s bed. I head to the closet and grab a small suitcase. I just need the bare essentials. I can get the rest another day.

“Pack some things for him in the nursery please Sasha, just the essentials.” I say coldly. “You owe me that much.”

She nods and leaves the room quietly, with Dillan in her arms.

“Don’t go,” he begs, watching helplessly as I grab as many items as I think I’ll need.

“I’m leaving.” I say, throwing clothes into the case. “I never should have come back. I should never have forgiven you.”

He stares at me from the middle of the room, his eyes flicking between me and the case.

“You’re being irrational,” he snaps. “You don’t need to leave. We can work through this. This isn’t fair on Dillan.”

I freeze, my numbness vanishing and my anger reaching the red zone. My temper takes a hold of me, squeezing at me until I pop. Before I realise what I’ve done, I see Nathan duck and hear a smash when Caleb’s photo from the nightstand hits the wall behind Nathan.

I don’t stop to take note of what I’ve done. I don’t stop when I place my hands on Nathan’s chest and shove him. Then I shove him again, my chest burning with overexertion and emotion.

“Do you know what’s not fair on Dillan?” I shout, shoving him again. “Growing up without a father! You and Caleb did that to him!” My hands push against his chest again. He goes back a step. “He’ll never know what an amazing man his father was… but then again… he was never an amazing man anyway! He was a fucking liar. Just like you!”

His back hits the wall, but I don’t stop shoving. My arms keep moving until I’m pounding on his chest.

“Gwen,” he says, wrapping his arms around me and pinning me to him. “Christ Gwen, I’m so sorry.”

“Let go of me!” I shout, finally pulling free and taking a few steps away from him, my chest heaving and my lungs burning. “Don’t touch me.” He withdraws the hand he was about to place on my shoulder.

“Dillan has you; he has me. You know I love him like he’s my own. I’ll never let him go without.”

I stare at him incredulously and turn back to my bag, muttering, “You’ll be lucky.”

“Gwen, you can’t take him away from me.”

I don’t respond. I keep piling things into my suitcase. Just before I grab the zip, it goes sailing across the room. Déjà vu. My clothes scatter on the ground as I stand staring at the now empty spot on the bed.

Nathan grabs me by the shoulder and pushes me against the wall, effectively caging me in with both arms. “You’re not taking him away from me. I will fight for him.”

“He’s not yours Nathan. You have zero rights to him and you know it.” I snap, trying to duck under his arm, but his quick reflexes catch what I’m doing almost before I know I’m doing it. His hand presses against my shoulder, holding me in place.

“Please,” he says softly. “If I lose you, he’s all I have. He’s still my son. I’ve still been there for him. I’m the one who’s raised him with you.”

“Right… because you’re so stable? What kind of mother would I be if I let my son be raised by a freak like you?”

He gasps and takes an involuntary step back. “You’re just saying that to hurt me.”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” I kick the suitcase across the floor.

“No… I’m good to Dillan. I’m good to you! What does it matter how we began? It’s what we are now that matters!”

“If this were a fairy tale I’d believe you.” I laugh humourlessly. “This… this is just a nightmare.”

“I don’t want you to go. I’ve made the mistake of letting you go before.”

I stare at him, my mouth hanging open. “You didn’t let me go! You forced me!”

“And it was the biggest mistake of my life,” he shouts and stalks towards me, forcing me to move backwards like a mouse away from a cat. “I made a mistake. I should have told you the truth. I know that and there isn’t a second that goes by that I don’t wish I had. Haven’t you ever made a mistake Gwen? One you wished you could take back?”

I inhale a shuddering breath. “Yes. You. You’re the biggest mistake of my life. I should never have let you in.”

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