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“Whatever happens, I still love you,” I assure her, flicking a cherry her way. She catches it and pops it into her mouth, smiling the entire time.
“Do you want to go for dinner later?”
I shake my head, sighing gravely. “I can’t; I promised Eric I’d meet him after work. I need to break it off with him.”
“Poor Eric.” Sasha doesn’t sound sympathetic at all. She also doesn’t look it, if the smile on her face is anything to go by. “You and Nathan suit.”
This shocks me. I wasn’t expecting that. “You don’t think it’s weird?”
“Oh it’s definitely weird, and so against the rules of relationships, but it works and he makes you happy. Right?”
It feels good hearing somebody else say that out loud. It slightly settles my nerves on the entire situation.
“Those cherry spirals aren’t going to make themselves.” There’s Valentine’s singsong voice again.
“I’ll let you get on with work.” Sasha squeezes my shoulder after she stands. “Text me later when Eric has gone and I’ll call you.”
Giving her a nod of agreement, I motion to Valentine that I’ll be just a minute and hastily type out a text on my phone.
Gwen: I’m seeing Eric later. He’s picking me up from work.
Only a few seconds pass.
Nathan: What time?
Gwen: I finish at four. We’re just going to talk for a while.
Again, only a few seconds pass before I receive a reply.
Nathan: You’re going to end it, correct?
Gwen: Yes.
Nathan: Good.
I’m really not looking forward to this. I should have listened to my gut in the first place and I should never have agreed to date. Things were too complicated and now they’re even more complicated.
Why couldn’t you have just lived, Caleb?
“What do you think Eric will say?” Tiffany hands me a cappuccino and holds her own to her chest.
We’re on a break. Yet again the day has been busy, fortunately not as busy as yesterday or I think I’d cry.
“I think he’ll be cool about it.” Eric is a nice guy. It’s not like we’re serious about each other. We shared a kiss, well two if you count the second, which I don’t want to do because I didn’t actually kiss him back. “It’s Nathan I’m worried about. I don’t want him showing up and blowing everything out of proportion.”
Tiffany frowns slightly. “What is his story? I get that he’s Dillan’s uncle, but what exactly is going on there? Where’s Dillan’s father?”
Sigh. I hate talking about this, but I don’t think I can put it off any longer. “He died when I was pregnant.”
Tiffany splutters on her drink, her face a mask of horror. “What?”
I nod, trying to detach myself from the story as much as possible so I don’t feel it and break down. “I woke up one morning, before the sun had risen. He was dead. Some kind of heart condition that they thought had healed when he was a small boy.”
Her frown deepens. “That makes no sense. Surely they would have noticed something?”
My eyes blur and sting as I try to keep the tears back.
“Babe,” Tiffany breathes, her hand going to my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“He was sick.” I sniff, taking a deep breath to try and calm the aching in my chest. “Before he died he was really ill. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but he begged me not to.”
“No! I’ll be fine in the morning, it’s just the flu or something.”
His words ring through my head; it’s almost like he’s saying them into my ear. “It kills me knowing that I could have saved him,” I mutter, staring straight ahead. The first tear falls and trickles slowly down my cheek.
Tiffany reaches out with a napkin in hand and wipes it away. “Hey. You can’t think like that, okay?”
“But it’s my fault Tiff. If you’d seen how ill he was, you would have taken him in. He was really bad.” Another tear falls and soon after they’re spilling down my cheeks. It’s just the memory of his frail and worn body lying in bed… I was always too mesmerised by his smile. He had one of those smiles that sucked you in and wrapped you in a warm blanket of love and joy. “I’m sorry, I just… it still kills me.”
Tiffany’s face crumples and she pulls me into her arms. “I’m so sorry, but don’t blame yourself. He was a grown man. If he told you not to take him, then that’s on him.”
“I didn’t have anywhere to go.” I continue with the story once she releases me. “I had no money, nowhere to live; my mum abandoned me. And then,” a smile teases my lips as tears still fall. I must look a mess. “Nathan came along.”
“Your own knight in shining armour?”
I nod. “I guess so.”
“And you fell in love?”
“No.” I shake my head and gaze at the floor. “He fell in love.”
