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“But you love him?”
“Yes, but…”
“Not as much as Caleb.” She finishes for me.
I agree. “Exactly.” And how guilty I feel for feeling that way. It eats at me.
She moves in front of me and gives me a shake by my shoulders. “You’ll get there. You’re still grieving. Just… don’t tell Nathan that, not yet.”
I let out a soft laugh. It’s not one of humour; it’s one of disbelief at my own situation. “He already knows. He loves me so much he’ll take whatever it is he can get.”
Her mouth drops open. “Wow.”
“Yep.” I pop the P. “I don’t deserve him.”
“But you have him, so you better try your best to give him what you think he deserves.” And don’t I know it. “Does Nathan know the guilt you feel over Caleb’s death?”
“No, nobody does.”
“You should tell him.”
“It’s not his burden,” I mumble, wiping at my eyes. “I can deal with it.”
“Can you?” The look she gives me is one of sympathy and concern.
Can I? That’s a good question. One I don’t have an answer for. “I’ve done okay so far.”
******
Eric, forever beautiful and casual, kisses me on greeting. His face falls instantly when I don’t kiss him back. He knows; I can tell by the silence as we climb in the car and pull away.
“We’ll go to mine,” he states.
“But…”
“I have something for you.” An excited smile spreads across his face and my heart plummets further. I keep my face calm, hoping he won’t notice. He doesn’t seem to.
When we make it to his, I notice another car outside. I’m sure it’s his mum’s. My memory is terrible though, so I could be wrong.
“Come on,” he urges, waiting for me by the gate that opens into his front garden.
He takes my hand and I follow him inside. I’m instantly greeted by the smell of garlic and beef. It smells divine. “Sorry.” Well at least if his mum is here he probably won’t try to kiss me.
I should have just told him in the car. Why didn’t I tell him in the car?
I should have told him way before we got in the car… this is going to be awkward and uncomfortable.
“Guinevere!” Kara shouts, wrapping her arms around my ribs.
I look down at the beautiful nine year old. “Hey there sweetie.”
“Kara,” Eric warns and she immediately moves away. I throw him a chastising look and wait for him to lead me into the room.
His mum, whose name escapes me, shouts hello from the kitchen.
“I thought she’d be done by now,” he mutters, scratching his head and wincing slightly. “I’m sorry. I was going to surprise you with dinner that she made and claim that I made it.”
This makes me throw my head back and laugh. “Why would you do that?”
“Because you’re an amazing cook and I’m crap.” His cheeks pink slightly.
“Sorry sweetie, but you didn’t have any salt or lemon juice in. I had to nip to the shop.” She explains through the wall.
I start laughing again. “Don’t be mean. My mum would never go to all of this trouble for me.”
He leans in and whispers, “She probably wouldn’t if she wasn’t obsessed with the thought of me settling down and falling in love.”
“I like your hair,” Kara says randomly, saving me from responding, her wide eyes on me.
“Oh, thank you.”
“Can I play with it?”
“Kara,” Eric hisses.
“Sure.” What harm could it do?
Eric mouths a “sorry” as Kara climbs onto the couch behind me and starts braiding my hair. Or at least that’s what it feels like she’s doing.
“Okay,” Eric’s mum calls and finally exits the kitchen, smiling at me broadly. “Come on Kara. Time to go.”
“Aww, aren’t we staying?” Kara whines, glaring at her brother. “You never let me stay.”
Eric blinks and says flatly, “You always stay. It’s freaking annoying.”
His mum leans down and kisses his cheek. I stand and follow them to the door. “Thank you for making dinner.”
“No problem dear.” Her voice is warm and friendly. “I hope you enjoy it. If you don’t, let’s stick with the original plan and say that he made it.”
Laughing, I step into the front yard and watch Kara open the gate.
A gasp escapes me as what happens next happens in slow motion. Kara’s shoelace gets caught at the bottom of the metal gate; her foot snags, causing her to hop on the other foot. It’s not enough, she starts to fall forward and pulls the gate with her. It tries to close on her leg making her cry out and attempt to protect the wrong part of her body.
Her face smashes on the ground and everybody stops breathing. The poor girl emits a shriek of pain and we all race forward. I quickly unhook the shoelace as Eric and his mum inspect the girl.
The first thing I see is blood, the next thing I see is her nose bent at an odd angle and damaged skin on her cheek. “Oh my god.” After my few seconds of panic, I grab Eric’s arm. “We need to take her to the hospital.”
