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He inhales a sharp breath and his throat bobs against my arm as he swallows. “Tell me you love me,” he whispers.
Grinning, I slide onto his lap, effectively straddling him and run my nose along his. Looking directly into his eyes, I say the words whilst my fingers run through his silky hair. “I love you.”
His eyes soften as his lips breeze against my own in the gentlest kiss I’ve ever received.
“Okay, let’s eat. I made lasagne.” It’s a sentimental thought. The first time I ever got to touch him was when we fought over lasagne and it spilled all down his front. The memory is one of my best. Weird I know. “All organic foods, all fresh.”
I try to slide off his lap, but he doesn’t let me. He holds me tight and buries his face in my neck. “Will it always feel like this with us?”
“What do you mean?”
“This.” He looks at me and runs the back of his fingers down my cheek. “I never want this feeling to end.”
I’m still confused. I let him know as much with my eyes only.
Taking my hand, he places it against his chest so I can feel the steady heartbeat against my palm. “This feeling, right here.”
“I hope so,” I answer, kissing the tip of his nose. He lets me climb off him and take my seat at the tiny table.
“Where’s Dillan?”
I point to the baby monitor on the side. “He’s sleeping. He only just went down so he’ll be out for a while.” I hope.
“Good. I’d like to have him tomorrow, while you work, if that’s okay?”
Shrug. “Sure. Mum will probably enjoy the break. I’m not at work until eleven though.” I cut into my lasagne and take the first bite as he does the same. “I’m such a cooking genius.”
“I’m going to have to agree with you.”
“So, tell me about your day. Did you get much done?”
He nods. “Quite a lot actually. I have all of my things in the car.”
“I’ll help you,” I state, looking at his handsome face bathed in the glow of the candle. He’s so handsome; sometimes I forget how much and then become mesmerised when I look at him. His hair needs a trim though, not too much, but just enough to keep it from falling into his eyes. “I’ll come around after work.”
“Thank you.”
We fall into a comfortable silence, occasionally glancing at each other and smiling.
He finally breaks it after a few minutes, when his plate is clean and he’s pushed it away. Stretching his long legs, he crosses them at the ankles and asks, “What’s the occasion?”
“I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I wanted to,” I say, giving him a pointed look. “You deserve it. Also,” I chew on my lip for a moment, feeling slightly uncomfortable by what I’m about to tell him. “I started taking my pill again.”
“What?” He asks, looking adorably confused.
“I thought we could…” I let my words trail off, taking note of the slight fear in his eyes. “Go without the condoms this time.”
“You went to the doctor?”
I shake my head. “No, they’re left over from before Dillan, but they’re still in date. I have a two month supply.”
“Maybe you should go and get new ones, just in case,” he says and I can’t help but feel like he’s keeping something from me. “They could be faulty now.”
“Don’t be daft. I asked my doctor. They still have another two years of life left in them.”
He shakes his head. “We’d both need to be tested first.” His eyes avoid mine, probably so he doesn’t see the offence I’ve just taken by his statement.
“I haven’t had sex with anyone but you.”
“And Caleb,” he mutters, standing abruptly. “We’ll get tested first. If that’s okay?”
I narrow my eyes as he picks up the plates and deposits them on the side. “I was tested whilst I was pregnant. And like I said, I’ve only had sex with you. I’m clean.”
He braces himself on the counter. What did I do wrong now? “I’ve not been tested in a while.”
“How long?”
“Six months.”
“That makes no sense. You haven’t done the deed with anyone else in the past six months. Have you?” He shakes his head, no. I step towards him and wrap my arms around him from behind. “There was Lorna, but that was way before then.”
He gulps and it’s audible. “Still, I should double check. Just to be sure.”
“Fine.” I kiss his shoulder and move away. “I made treacle sponge. Would you like some?”
“Sure.” He relaxes completely. I can almost see the tension leave his body. It reminds me of the dream I had of Caleb, the red smoky tendrils licking at the air, pouring from around his body. I stifle a shudder at the thought and move back to Nathan. As soon as I sink into his warmth and his arms tightly hold me to him, all thoughts and memories fly from my mind. The power this man has over me is astonishing. He could make me forget the world. “Your hair smells divine.”
