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I hope he’s okay. It’s odd that he hasn’t called.
When morning comes, I feel my unease rise when I see that yet again he hasn’t called. When I try and call him, I get no response. I’m worried. As I have every right to be.
It’s not until eleven that I receive a call from Jeanine. It’s a welcome surprise. I detach Dillan from my bosom and place him in his bouncer while I take the call, so as not to disturb his sleeping form.
“Hello?”
“Hi Guinevere, just a quick call.”
“No problem, I’m not busy.” I smile, genuinely happy to hear from my old friend. “How are things?”
“Great, really great in fact. I’m actually calling because I’ve just left Nathan’s and well… he’s there. I wasn’t sure if you two fought or anything. He looks…” She seems to think for the right word. “Miserable seems a bit overstated, sad is understated.”
“Oh.” Why the hell is he there? “Was he alone?”
“Yes, as far as I could tell. I hope you don’t think I’m causing trouble. I was just concerned that something had happened.”
“No, everything is fine. As far as I’m aware, he’s sorting out the store.”
She hums and I hear a door close as she moves around her house I assume. “My husband says he saw Nathan’s car in the driveway around noon yesterday. When I arrived this morning, it didn’t look like he’s left since he arrived.”
What? “Oh… okay.” My heart aches with worry. “Could you tell him to call me? You don’t have to give anything away, just tell him… Dillan’s sick or something. I don’t know.”
“Sure. I have to go. I’ve got a piano lesson in five minutes. Take care Gwen.”
“You take piano lessons?”
“No sweetie, I teach them,” she chuckles and the line goes dead. Oh my god. Was I that self-absorbed when I lived with Nathan?
No, I immediately defend myself. I was buried under too much grief to pay attention to anything else. Besides, it might be something she’s only recently started doing.
When my phone lights up with Nathan’s name, I don’t delay in answering it. My relief is apparent when I say, “Hey.”
“What’s wrong with Dillan?”
“Nothing. It was a sly tactic I used to get you to call me.” I frown, wishing I could see his face. “I miss you. What’s going on?”
He lets out a long sigh and I hear his office chair creak as he sits. “I just needed some time away.” Oh… that hurts. “No, don’t, I can practically see your expression in my mind. It’s not about you. It’s me. Let’s just say I need to battle a few demons.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He laughs a little. “Would you have let me go?”
Meh… he has a point. “I want to help you; is that so bad?”
“No, but you were right when you said that if I give up on myself I can’t be helped. I want to be better for you. It killed me seeing you disappointed when I said no the night before last.”
I really wish I’d hidden my emotions better. It was just the first reaction, I didn’t mean it. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
I frown again, really wishing I could see his face. “It’s not yours either.”
“I know. For once I actually believe that.”
My frown vanishes and a smile takes its place. My heart feels warm at his words. Could it be that we’re breaking through? If so… finally. “I love you. If it gets too much, call me. I’ll come straight there.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s better I do this alone; you’ll distract me.”
“Okay then. Make sure you eat!”
He chuckles, the sound traveling straight through me and pooling in my stomach. “I will. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Unfortunately he doesn’t call me tomorrow. He doesn’t call me the next day either. By the third day I’ve had enough. I no longer want to leave him to do this alone. I’m scared that the longer he stays away, the more he’ll want to stay away. The easier it’ll be for him to stay away and become the recluse he once was and the harder it will be for him to come back and be the man I know he can be.
Gwen: I need to borrow your car please.
Sasha: Why?
Gwen: I have to go to London.
Sasha: Why?????
Gwen: Nathan left. Can you have Dillan? Just until tomorrow. I need to do this.
Sasha: I’ll pick you up in ten. Have him ready.
I barely speak to Sasha as I pack a bag and leave her with Dillan. I drive like a crazy person to the village. The sooner I get there, the better. My mind is plagued. I need to resolve this and so does he.
My phone rings as I’m heading down the motorway, keeping with the speed limit as it’s been a while since I’ve driven. I don’t want to cause an accident. Dillan needs his mother.
