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“What’s that noise?”
“I’m washing my face,” I respond. “Don’t ask.”
“Okay,” he laughs, dragging the word out and I hear Dillan cheering gleefully in the background as though part of the conversation. “I’ve booked your car in for its MOT on the seventeenth. It was the only day they could fit you in. I’m going to get your wheels changed and whatever else needs doing.”
“But Sasha’s birthda…”
“I’ll be home that weekend so we’ll go in my car; it’s no big deal. I figured you won’t need it for work so the timing is pretty good.”
“Yeah.” He makes a valid point. “That makes sense. You promise you’ll be there though?”
“Of course!” He sounds slightly offended that I’d even ask but I daren’t be too hopeful.
“Sorry, I’m just so excited for a day of fun.”
“I know. I understand.”
“Well, thank you, sweetie. For taking me to Sasha’s birthday and for fixing my car.”
“You’re welcome.” He clears his throat. “If you’re working that day, you’ll have to take it in before you go because I don’t think I’m going to be back on time.”
“Got it.” I finally make progress with the blue. “I have to go.”
“Enjoy the rest of your day.” His voice is soft, like velvet, and sweet like melted chocolate. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I smile, wishing I was there with them all.
My smile soon vanishes when I hear an unfamiliar female voice call, “Dillan, look wha…” The line goes dead before she finishes her sentence.
My heart hammers against my ribcage as I try to figure out who it could belong to but nobody comes to mind. I’d know the voice if it was my mum or Sasha. We don’t know anybody else apart from Jeanine and it definitely wasn’t her.
Unless he’s at one of his stores…it could be one of the staff there; they all fawn over our kids when we go in. Though I could hear the wind and cars in the background so he can’t be inside his store.
Fuck.
Who was it?
I want to trust him… I need to trust him. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to call me if he was with another woman. Not unless he told her to be quiet and then she decided not to be just to let herself be known to me.
How dare he let some female be around my children without my approval? I can’t just let this one go. Ignoring the message Nathan already sent to me about the car, I quickly type and send:
Gwen: Who the fuck was that?
Nathan: Who was who?
Gwen: The woman who yelled Dillan’s name at the end of our conversation.
Nathan: Just a lady who works at the ice cream stall on the park.
Oh. Well… don’t I feel like an idiot? He’s just out being a good dad to our kids and I’m stuck here being an irrational bitch as per usual. What is wrong with me?
Gwen: I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.
Nathan: You have nothing to apologise for. Stay calm. We’ll see you later.
I’m losing it. I need to stop losing it so much but it’s hard. My hormones are all over the place and it’s so hard to trust after what Caleb did. I’m trying so hard to get over it but it’s not always that simple. His deception left a seed that took root and now I’m forever taking it out on Nathan.
Gwen: I need a girl’s night.
Sasha: Me too! When?
Gwen: I don’t know; we’re both always so busy. I need a new friend.
Sasha: Normally I’d be offended by such a suggestion but you really do. You just don’t get out enough at all.
Gwen: Gee… thanks. :-p
Sasha: You used to hang out with tons of people all the time. It’s only since Nathan that you’ve become a hermit. The world doesn’t revolve around him. He can live without you for an hour or two.
Gwen: I know he can. He’s not the reason I’m so secluded.
Sasha: I know he’s not, but still… put yourself out there a bit more. Go to a local mummy and baby group or something. Find the kids some play mates; they need friends too.
She’s completely right.
Gwen: That’s actually not a bad idea.
So after some research on Google, I find my local children’s centres and book us in for some tea and toast sessions. I really hope this goes well. My anxiety is already skyrocketing.
“You can do this,” I whisper to myself. “You got this.”
“Are you talking to yourself?” Harold asks.
“Shut it.”
“First sign of madness.”
Raising my hand to his face, I move to the outside. This kitchen gets too warm. I need to breathe.
Sasha: Remember that I love you, bitch.
Gwen: Like a rash.
Sasha: Duh.
Gwen: Did he propose yet?
Sasha: Do I seem happy?
Gwen: Do you ever?
Sasha: Fuck off, I’m a ray of sunshine!
Gwen: I seriously can’t wait for your birthday. No joke. I am so excited!
