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He’ll wake soon. He will.
I’m too scared to sleep just in case he does. Nothing worse than being forced to shower when you’re dead to the world.
“You look exhausted,” Nathan states as I struggle to make breakfast for him and the kids. “Are you ill?”
“No, I just didn’t sleep well last night,” I confess, smiling at him over my shoulder.
“Why? Did I not fuck you hard enough?”
I choke on laughter, triggered by my shock.
When he winks at me, I turn to face him fully and shake my head to clear it. Who is this man? “You did. I just stayed up waiting for you to wake me and force me into the shower.”
He spoons a mouthful of mushed banana into Emily’s mouth, seeming unaffected by my admission. “I had one when I woke up.”
“I know that, but still… this is new territory. I couldn’t sleep.”
He grins, shrugs and battles with Emily for the baby spoon she just stole. “I didn’t mean to confuse you.”
“Don’t apologise,” I laugh and slide onto his lap. “It’s nice that you didn’t immediately force me to shower.”
“Does it upset you when I do?” His free hand rests on my hip.
“Not at all. It used to, but I understand. To be honest, I’m so used to it now I feel icky when I don’t shower.”
His lips touch mine. “I’m trying to be a little more lenient with my routine. I don’t want you to feel…”
When he falls silent and looks away, I gently tip his face back to me with my finger and thumb grasping his chin, just below his thick lower lip which, before speaking, I suck into my mouth for a brief moment. “Feel what?”
“Trapped.” This breathless word is full of so much emotion, primarily anxiety laced with a ton of insecurity.
“With you? Always, in the best way, not the worst. Don’t release me.”
Forgetting our lives for a moment, he pushes his lips to mine and we kiss for the longest time. It feels like an eternity, though in reality it’s only a fraction of that. What a glorious fraction though.
“I love you.”
“So you’ve said.” I peck his lips with a final gentle kiss, run my hands through his hair, kiss the underside of his jaw and stand to finish making breakfast.
Now that I know he’s in a good mood, I decide to confront the elephant in the room. Staring at the sizzling pan on the stove, I gather my courage and say softly, “Don’t give me a hard time about Kerim anymore.”
The pause between us lasts another fraction of eternity, this one nowhere near as pleasant as the last.
“I’ll do my best.” He finally says and I release the breath I was holding. “I trust you. It’s unfair that I hold against you the thoughts, feelings and possible actions of another.”
This makes me smile. Good progress has been made today. I’ll be on cloud nine for a while.
Chapter Fifteen
“YES!” I cry, happy when I see the rota that Kerim has pinned on the board in the staffroom.
“What?” Patience asks and checks her hours over as she gathers her soft blonde hair up with both hands. “What am I missing?”
“I’ve got Thursday and Friday off.”
“And?” She ties her hair up using the hair band that she held between her teeth.
“Those are the two days Sasha and Tommy are having the kids.” I feel like dancing. “Now I just have to convince Nathan to get the time off.”
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you,” she states, though she is as insincere as the bitter smile on her face. That woman blows so hot and cold all the time. It drives me mad. One day I’m going to punch her in the face.
“Yeah right,” I whisper quietly so she doesn’t hear me but loudly enough for me to feel as though I’ve vented a little bit of stress towards her.
“Ladies,” Kerim announces as he steps into the room with Harold behind him.
“Hey guys.” I grin through the fabric of my white jacket as I pull it over my head. I can’t be bothered to undo all the buttons. “I’ll be with you in a second.”
“Are you sure you’re not stuck?” Harold laughs.
I finally tug my head through the neck hole and stick my tongue out at him.
“I need to make a call before I go in, is that okay?” I ask meekly, knowing that I’m already pushed for time.
“Go.” Kerim waves his hand at me. “Make it quick. You’re on line today.”
“Really?” Patience and I say together, though mine is excited and hers is insulted.
“Yep, you did so well last time.”
“Yay!” I throw my arms up, wishing somebody other than Patience was close enough for me to high five.
“Yay?” Harold questions.
“People say Yay!” I snap playfully, annoyed that everyone always seems to question my happy word whenever I release it.
