AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You do,” I agree. “You’re a coffee snob.”
“Only since you.” He taps the top of our little percolator. “You shouldn’t have gotten me this for Christmas.”
I shrug. “You love it and you make me delicious coffee on demand.”
He grins, waits for me to finish the last of the coffee and turns to place it by the sink. When he stills, my hand goes to his arm, concern flooding my brain at his sudden stop.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, panicked.
He slams the cup down on the side but his eyes remain on something ahead. I peek around him to find the source of his sudden ire. The only thing in his line of sight that I can determine to be the cause of this drama is the picture of Caleb on the top of the microwave.
“Nathan?”
He stares at the photo emotionlessly and I wonder if seeing his brother again is upsetting him. It has been a long time; surely he’s ready to have a piece of him in our home now?
“Why is he on display?”
That wasn’t the question I was expecting, nor was I expecting the cold, low tone it was carried forward on.
I reply, “Because we’ve all missed him and I want Dillan to…”
“Dillan?” He snaps, his tone higher now, angry.
“Yes. What’s the issue?”
He doesn’t respond; he only looks away and licks his lower lip slowly. When I step into his body and wrap my arms around his waist, I try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you still think of him often?”
“What kind of a question is that?” I laugh, though nothing is humorous about this situation. “I think of him whenever my brain conjures a memory over something familiar.”
“So a lot then?”
“I’m not doing this,” I warn him and step away.
“Doing what?”
“Arguing over a dead person!”
“Who’s arguing?”
“Stop,” I snap, feeling my anger rise. “He’s dead, Nathan. Dead. He’s your brother; he’s somebody I loved once very dearly; he fathered my child; he took my virginity…”
Nathan winces but I don’t stop.
“He was my first love. The first guy I brought home to my mum. My first fiancé. I was going to die with him. I was going to grow old with him and I’ll not let you force me to abandon all of that because you’re bloody jealous.”
His jaw tenses and I see the muscle twitch. “Are you finished?”
“Yes. And so are we.”
“What?” His eyes widen so I roll mine and hiss, “With this conversation!”
“Fine,” he hisses back and runs a hand through his hair.
“Fine.”
“You should have spoken to me about it first!” It took him a few moments of silence before he blurted this.
I rub my temples. “Nathan, I don’t have to tell you shit…”
“Language!”
“About SHIT!”
“Gwen…”
“You’re not my dad; you’re not my parent; you are my PARTNER! Start acting like it!”
“Partners discuss things!”
“Yes, things…” I run my own hands through my hair and resist the urge to rip it out. “Such as where we’re going on holiday. Who has the kids and when? We should discuss things like the bills, what we need when going shopping, the weather and it’s potential to ruin any plans…”
“Gwen…”
“Plans that we make together! Unless one of us already has plans with somebody else. Partners do NOT dictate to their partners about what pictures go where when they’ve never had an issue with said partner putting up all of the other pictures around the house! If…”
“Gwen, can I just…”
“If we’ve discussed it before, then we’ll discuss it, but I won’t be told or made to feel guilty over a fucking photo of somebody no longer with us.” And breathe.
“Are you done?” He asks, his arms folded and his brow quirked. I nod. He continues, “Good, then I’m sorry. You’re right. Just… things have been tense between us lately.”
“No kidding,” I whisper but he ignores it.
“I’ve not been forthcoming with a lot of things and I guess I’m scared that I’ll do something to push you away.”
I unfold his arms and step between them. “Then be forthcoming. I’m listening.”
“I will,” he says, nodding. “On our two days off. We’ll sit down and talk about it all. Okay?”
This brings me a tremendous amount of joy. “Promise?”
“I promise.” He grins. “Is your meltdown over?”
I pinch his side. “Is yours?”
“Yes, my Queen.”
I think we handled that a lot better than the last few times we argued. We’re making great progress, he and I.
“Maaaaa!” Dillan yells loudly. “Wha doin?”
“I’m coming,” I call back, giggling. “He’s getting so good at talking.”
“Unfortunately, he’ll be talking back before we know it,” Nathan jokes and follows close behind.
“Maaa!” Dillan screams again as we enter the room. Emily awakens with a screech, unhappy to have been woken prematurely. Nathan goes to her as I tend to Dillan. This is going to be a tough afternoon for Nathan, though not for me. I’m at work soon. I do love my job, though I love being at home more.
