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“Books?”
“Yeah, class starts next week.”
“But I can’t go to class.”
Joy stared at me. “Didn’t he tell you? In order to make sure you graduate on time, Leo arranged it so you can take the classes online until you can physically make it back.”
“But—how did he do that?”
Joy grinned, her dimples popping. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m pretty sure Leo can do just about anything he puts his mind to. He’s kinda scary, but he loves you beyond reason so he’d move heaven and hell to make you happy.”
I lay back into my pillows, closing my eyes and struggling to control my breathing as her words hit me like a blow to the chest.
“Hannah?” Judith asked in a soft voice. “Are you all right.”
“Yeah, just a little dizzy.”
The sweet scent of Joy’s strawberry-and-peach body mist filled my senses as she gave me a gentle hug. “Miss you, babe. Sleep tight and heal up so you can come home.”
“I will. Love you.”
Giving my good hand a squeeze, she said softly, “Love you too.”
She left and I still didn’t open my eyes.
The room seemed so silent, so empty without her bright presence in it.
“She thinks I’m going to live with Leo.”
“Are you going to live with him?”
“Not willingly.”
“Because he’s a killer.”
“Among other things, yes.”
“You do know he only tortures the guilty, right?”
I opened my eyes and managed to sit up a little bit. “What are you talking about?”
“Take those men that hurt you, for example. When Leo killed them, he did the world a favor by ridding it of absolute scum.”
The chocolate shake in my stomach lurched and I had to swallow a few times before I could say, “He killed them?”
“Yes. And he made them pay for hurting you, just like he’s made hundreds of child molesters, rapists, murderers, and psychopaths pay. He dispenses justice in a way the broken courts of this land never will, a justice that no matter how brutal, could never exceed the brutality of the crimes these bastards had committed. That same justice was brought down on the men who beat you so badly, men that would have gleefully raped you to death, and recorded it for a snuff-porn website they help run.”
A cold sweat broke out over me as I remembered the blows of their fists, the men’s foul words about tearing me open and passing me around, giving me to their dogs to fuck. “Okay, it does make me feel a little better to know they’re dead.”
“It should. Those men will never harm you again, and Leo made an example of them, showing the world what would happen if anyone were to ever hurt you. He loves you.”
“No he doesn’t, it’s all a lie.”
“He does, and all the denial in the world won’t change that. You need to realize how very lucky you are to have a good man like Leo, how very blessed you are to be with a man who thinks the world is lit by your smile. I know this is a lot for you to take in, that you’ve lived a very sheltered life, but you need to let go of your fear and anger, it’s blinding you to the truth. Forgive him, Hannah. Give him a chance to explain, please. He’d do anything, anything at all to make you happy, and I know you love him. That kind of feeling doesn’t just go away.”
I couldn’t argue with that so instead I said, “I’m getting a headache.”
She looked like she wanted to say more, but instead nodded. “I’ll have the chef prepare a light dinner for you when you wake.”
“Thank you.”
In the quiet of the room, my heartache overwhelmed me and I cried, wishing Leo was here with me. Even if I ignored him, his presences soothed me, held me together in some intangible way. I did love him, so much, and I wondered if what Judith said was possible, if I could forgive him, if I could accept him for who he was. Was I brave enough to be the wife of a cartel member? Was I out of my damn mind for even considering it?
The truth, both bitter and sweet, was that I adored Leo, loved him enough that maybe someday I could find it in me to forgive him, to live the beautiful life he’d tried to build for me.
Fuck, I wish he was here right now to hold me, to make everything better again, because I was so lost and didn’t know what to do.
Those thoughts swirled around in my head, drawing me into a restless sleep.
I have no idea how long I was out, but someone shaking my shoulder woke me up.
The first thing I became aware of was the stench of alcohol, and when I opened my eyes, I found Fernando standing next to my bed, clearly agitated and shifting from foot to foot.
