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“Can you at least tell me if this new roommate is the girl in the video you were sucking face with at Giovanni’s the other day?”
My head whips up from my hands to stare in horror at my grandmother as she presses something on the screen of her phone with a big smile on her face. All of a sudden, the sounds of whistling, clapping, and cheering fill my dad’s office as she turns her phone around so I can see it. Sure enough, there’s mesucking facewith the nut job who rocked my world over the weekend. I’d like to ask Dottie to send me that video so I can study it in more detail later, but I’m too mortified right now that she even has that thing on her phone. And she’s watched it!
I think I might be sick.
“Ryan! What the hell is this?” my father demands, standing up from his chair to lean over his desk so he can see her phone screen better.
“It’s hot; that’s what it is,” Dottie pipes up, quickly turning the screen of her phone away and cutting off the video.
“It’s nothing! I swear,” I reassure him, giving my grandmother a look of betrayal.
“Sorry, kid.” She shrugs. “He would have found out by lunchtime. Ann Salem’s granddaughter saw it online, and she sent it to Ann, who sent it to Beth Chavis, who sent it to Tina McNeal, who showed it to me this morning at Zumba.”
Welcome to life in a small town.
“It was just a joke. She’s a complete stranger I’ll never see again. I didn’t even get her name,” I try to smooth things over, while my dad begins to pace behind his desk.
Even though it felt nothing like a joke, and I can still feel her lips on mine, and I can still smell her skin every time I close my eyes.
“That’s even worse!” My dad stops pacing long enough to throw his hands up in the air. “What will people on the island think if they see that video? City council doesn’t want a mayor who can’t control himself or keep it in his pants and goes around making out in public with any trash off the street.”
Before I can tell him to knock it off with the judgment, Dottie just keeps going.
“Too badthislittle firecracker isn’t going to be your roommate.” She smiles down at her phone, and I can see that she’s watching the damn video again, but at least she turned off the sound. “It would do you some good to not keep it in your pants withthisone.”
“You’re fired.”
My grandmother doesn’t even look up at my father. She just lifts her hand in the air and gives him the finger.
“Okay, on that note, I need to get to class.” I push up from my chair, grabbing my coffee from the edge of the desk, and make a hasty retreat to the door.
“We’ll talk more about our plans for the next six months at dinner on Sunday!” my dad shouts after me as I step out into the hall.
“I’ll send you this video so you can have your own copy!” Dottie adds.
“Why the hell does he need his own copy?” I hear my dad question her as I pull the door closed behind me.
“Uh, for porn, Ted. My God, keep up!” she replies just as the door clicks shut, and I can finally let out the sigh I’ve been holding in.
