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Well, I mean, I felt a little bit, but nothing like the usual tidal wave of fear and self-hatred. Satisfaction filled me as I stood a little straighter, proud of my progress. It took me a lot of hard work and therapy, but I’d finally managed to put some of my past behind me. That’s not to say I felt miraculously cured or anything, but right at that moment, I was okay. I would acknowledge and accept it for the gift it was instead of trying to find something wrong with being happy.
And my therapist thought I didn’t pay attention during our sessions.
Feeling brave, I said, “I want to go to Smartman’s Parlor.”
“Smartman’s? The kid’s ice cream parlor? The one with all the video games?”
“Yes. They serve food, too.”
“Okay…but why there?”
“Because I’ve always wanted to go. Growing up, I’d see the ad on TV all the time for the parlor. They made it look so amazing, like so much fun. I wanted to go so bad, but I knew I’d never be able to handle it. After a while, I’d change the channel when the commercials came on, because they reminded me of all the fun and friends I’d never have.” Mark made a sympathetic noise. I lowered my hands to his chest, stroking the carved valley between his pectoral muscles. “But I think, with you by my side, I could do it.”
“Then Smartman’s Parlor it is.”
People stared at me as I shoved a slice of dripping with cheese pizza in my mouth.
Hell, even Mark gawked at me with his lips slightly parted and his eyes wide.
“I have never,” he said in an almost awed voice, “ever seen anyone eat pizza as fast as you.”
I washed down my giant bite with a big drink of soda. “I’m hungry. And, when you fold the slice in half, you can eat it a lot faster.”
Chewing slowly, he shook his head at me. “We need to enter you into some pizza eating contests. Where did you learn to eat like that?”
Feeling a little self-conscious, I looked down at my plate.
“I had some…food issues…after I was adopted. One of the first meals I had after I was rescued was pizza. The firemen had some in their truck, and it was the best thing I’d ever tasted. You have to understand, I’d only been fed sparingly, with the minimum effort on my mother’s part. Lots of oatmeal made with well water. Ugh. If I never smell well water again I’ll die a happy woman.” I took another giant bite, closing my eyes in bliss as the tangy tomato sauce hit my tongue. “When I eat a pizza it takes me back to that day.”
Understanding filled his face, and he reached out, holding my hand tight. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I really am.”
I took a deep breath, thankful because I still had control over myself.
I cleared my throat, wanting to lighten the mood. “So, how’s your dumpster fire of a pizza?”
He studied me for a second, then gave me a slightly forced, teasing smile. “Delicious. How is your boring cheese?”
While I’d ordered my favorite—a double cheese pizza—Mark had ordered one with literally every topping they carried on it. Mushrooms, olives, all kinds of meats and veggies piled high. Add extra cheese and it was a monstrosity of a messy pizza. Most people would’ve been covered in sauce and grease marks by then, but Mark had managed to devour two slices without even a dot of pizza sauce.
Ignoring the grease stain on the waist of my dress, I smiled. “My pizza is super awesome. Thank you.”
“Vali’s a happy boy right now,” Mark said with a smile as he glanced under the table.
To my surprise and delight, the staff supplied Vali with his own personal pizza. It was really just a circle of bread with a little bit of cheese and different kinds of meat, but Vali had scarfed it down. He was still a little tense from all the noise and people, but the food had calmed him considerably.
At first, I’d been scared, my heart racing as we walked through the front doors into chaos. The lights, noises, and screaming kids everywhere—part of me had been sure I would lose it. Though I kept waiting and waiting for the uncontrollable terror and panic, it never came. The longer we were there, the more relaxed I became until my smile felt genuine. The lights, the sounds, the kids laughing everywhere…I loved it. Everyone was super accommodating to us, and the staff went out of their way to be nice to Vali. I’d learned the restaurant chain prided themselves on being inclusive, and they’d all had training on how to work with service animals and their owners. They even had a quiet section that was closed off from the rest of the chaos for people who needed some silence. It made me feel really good to know that there were more and more people every day educating themselves on how to make everyone feel welcome.
