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I’ve showered and dressed, though I need to make a trip to the store or something, because I am not going to be able to make it in life with these few outfits that I have here. Plus, I don’t like doing laundry every other day.
Opening the door, I don’t know why I don’t look through the peephole. I don’t know why I don’t do a lot of things. But I just stupidly pull open the door expecting it to be Ruslan on the other side with an armful of… I don’t know what… cookies maybe?
But that is not the sight that greets me.
It’s Donya and Maryam. In the flesh. Looking to the ground, I see a pair of shoes. Clean, black, expensive shoes.
“What did you do to him?” I whisper.
They barge into the condo wordlessly and slam the door shut behind them, obviously not worried about waking up the man who was guarding me.
“He’s not dead… yet. Don’t worry about him,whore,” Donya seethes.
“What do you want? You’re rid of me now. What do you want?”
Maryam takes a step forward, the look in her eyes is full of hatred and anger. “You,” she growls. “You fucking did this. You ruined us, and for what? For your selfishness. I always knew you were nothing but a selfish brat. Always. This just confirmed it.”
Her words are being shouted at me, I can almost not make them out, but I get what she’s saying. I understand her. To her, this, all of this is my fault. Her life was perfect, and I ruined it all.
But she doesn’t know or care that my life wasn’t perfect. I was not raised to be a wife among many. I was given to this stranger, this man who had none of the same customs or cultures as my people.
A man who did not care that I was lost and confused. A man who didn’t give a shit that I didn’t have my favorite dishes at holidays, or ever. A man who only wanted to use me for sex and nothing else… until the day I died.
“I’m not selfish,” I whisper.
She doesn’t hear me, doesn’t care, and starts to move closer to me. I take a step backward, refusing to allow her close enough to touch me. I don’t have any weapons near me, and Ruslan is a minimalist or maybe just a man, because there is nothing that I could grab and throw at her either.
It’s two against one, and I still don’t know what they did to the guard, so they likely have some kind of weapon. So it’s two armed against one unarmed. I refuse to fall to them. After everything Azar did to me, after he almost killed me, I will not be taken out by these bitches.
“You’re a selfish little bitch who thought that she could rule the roost. Then when you got your ass handed to you, you ran away to your little friends and had our husband killed. Murdered.In. Cold. Blood.”
Shaking my head, I think about fighting with them, arguing with them, but I don’t want to. They are no longer part of my life. They are no longer anything to me and I don’t ever want to see them again. This is it, the last time.
“Think what you want,” I say with a shrug of my shoulder. “You know the truth and so do I,” I say, then shift my attention to Donya. “You know Azar hurt you and you know that he hurt me too. Don’t pretend that he was perfect. Don’t pretend that you liked him,” I grind out.
Donya shakes her head, making her way toward me, and as I back away, she doesn’t stop until my head slams against the wall behind me. I’m stuck with nowhere to go. I think about crying, my eyes instantly water, but then I remember that I do not have to be nice to her. I do not have to live with her. I do not have to ever see her again, and I won’t.
Lifting my hands between us, I place my palms against her chest and push her away from me. The move surprises her and she falls backward a few steps, then lifts her gaze to meet mine, her eyes widening in shock, her lips parted.
Her surprise doesn’t last long. She rushes me. I don’t let her get far, mainly because fuck her. I extend my arms again, placing my palms flat on her chest again and pushing her again. This time, she falls backward and lands on her ass. I almost laugh, if I had time, I just might’ve, but I don’t.
Maryam rushes toward me, but I don’t let her get to me. Running toward the bedroom, I know that it’s weak of me, that it’s cowardly to run away from her, but also, I don’t want to deal with her now or ever again.
Slipping into the bedroom, I slam the door closed and twist the lock on the little doorknob, hoping that it’s enough to keep her out of here while I think of something to do. I don’t have Ruslan’s phone number. I haven’t needed it.
All I have is time now. I can’t call the cops. I can’t do anything right now, but hope. I don’t pray anymore. I stopped doing that a long time ago, about the time I was sold for sex at sixteen. As Maryam starts to bang on the door, rattling it, I decide to send a little one up for good measure.
Maryam is screaming, beating the door, and then there is a loud noise, I don’t recognize it before a thud. Tears start to stream down my cheeks. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m unhurt. I’m safe, but that doesn’t stop me from shaking or the tears from falling.
Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought I was. Maybe I’m not as smart either. Maybe I’m just not cut out for any of this life. Not a single damn part of it.
