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MomandIarefighting about the farm again. In the last couple of years, since Dad passed away, she’s threatened to sell. She claims we can’t keep it up without him. Fact is, we can’t keep it up because I’m doing most of the work myself. My sister pitches in as much as she can and she’s always there for the animals. A wiz with them. It’s like she has a sixth sense when it comes to their health. She’ll make an amazing vet. Our mom though…? I understand she’s devastated about losing her husband but we wouldn’t even have to think about selling his farm, the one he loved and sacrificed for, if she kept up with even half of her old workload. I can do a lot. Pick up some slack. But I can’t do it all.
When our argument turns into yelling and crying, I give up. There’s a bonfire tonight and I could use a drink and an escape from… Well… Everything.
“I’ll let Blake know I need some time off. We’ll figure this out later,” I say but I’m not sure she hears me where she sits, hunched over the dining room table, her hands buried in her hair as she sobs.
I should comfort her. Everything in me tells me to set my anger and frustration aside to be here for her but my pride won’t let me. Besides, I’m not all that sure she wants to be comforted. It seems every time I try it only makes things worse. And I really don’t want to see what worse thanthislooks like.
Without another word, I take off. Shooting Blake, my boss, a text on the way to my truck. Blake is understanding of my situation but it's a good thing we just finished the last roofing job of the year. Everything from now until next spring will be indoor jobs, remodeling and repairs. Regardless, I hate to have to take the time off.
The drive helps to get my mind off of everything, like I hoped it would. Honestly, any time I get to spend in my truck helps. On the road or standing still. Doesn’t matter. It’s my sanctuary. The one place I can find peace when I need it. Which is why I’m still sitting in the cab, watching Ash and Boone and a dozen or more of Boone’s groupies drink and play around the fire. Blake used to come to these things. When he was our buddy and not our boss. We’re all still friends but he’s got his girlfriend, Parker and their baby girl, Kinsley. His priorities are a bit different now. I don’t blame him. If things weren’t such a mess at home, I’d be looking to shift my priorities in a similar direction.
I don’t know. Maybe it would be better if Mom sold the farm. My construction job would be more than enough to live on if I had the time to work regular hours. The only problem would be finding a place in town to live. In Towering Pines, you usually have to wait for someone to die. Even then, they usually have family waiting to take their place.
Getting thirsty, I finally climb out of my old beater and join the guys by the fire. It’s mid-September and technically still summer for another week but the nights this close to the lake are cool enough that the fire still feels nice. Especially when the humidity is through the roof like it is tonight. The moisture settles on your skin and every little breeze chills you to the bone.
“It’s about fucking time,” Boone says bending and taking a beer out of the cooler his foot had been propped on then tosses it to me.
“Everything okay?” Ash asks.
“No but what the fuck can I do about it, you know?” I crack open my beer and catch the foam in my mouth before I take a drink.
“That bad, huh?” Ash follows up while Boone goes back to goofing with some girl he’ll probably take home tonight. Love the guy. He’s a great friend but I don’t know what the fuck girls see in him. Sure, he’s famous but in a niche sport. He makes a good living as a spokesman but he has to sink most of his earnings into his farm the same as the rest of us to hold onto it.
As I ask myself if they find him charming, he picks the girl up and slings her over his shoulder. Probably not smart considering the condition of his leg and shoulder but there’s no telling him that after he’s had a few.
Everything just works out for Boone while I have to work my ass off for everything. Women included if I ever had any fucking time to meet one. I don’t have time to meet women and I certainly don’t have time to wait for them to get to know me. I learned a long time ago girls don’t like me when I open up too quickly. Every single breakup has ended the same way. For the same reason. I’m clingy.
I’d love for someone to tell me when wanting to spend time with someone for more than just fucking now means that you're clingy.
I want a relationship. I want to commit. I want to get comfortable with a woman. Change sucks. All I want is to fall in love and have it last.
“Must be bad. You went somewhere else for a bit there,” Ash says waving his hand in front of my face.
After Boone jogs over leaving his chick of the week behind, he says, “Hey. Meant to ask you, is your sister here tonight?” That’s a question out of left fucking field. Takes me off guard and I instantly go on the defensive.
With a touch-her-and-you-die tone in my voice, I ask him, “Why the fuck do you want to know?”
“Calm the fuck down. I’m not asking for me, I’m asking for my cousin, Skye. She’s staying with us a while. About Maya’s age. Though, I’m not sure how well they’d get along. City girl. Kinda quiet. Unlike big mouth Maya.”
I punch Boone in the chest. “That’s my sister you’re bad-mouthing. Also, did you forget Maya’s best friend is Penny Webb? Not sure anyone could be as shy and quiet as her.”
Boone doesn’t answer, he just shrugs. “Whatever. I also thought I should give you a heads up we have company in case you come over to use the track.”
“Fair enough. But I’ll let Maya know. See if she’d be interested in rolling out the welcome wagon.”
“Thanks, man.” Boone plants a friendly fist on my arm. That’s when flavor-of-the-week walks over and pulls Boone’s ear to her lips and whispers something that curls Boone’s lip into a wicked grin.
“Later,” I say before Boone has a chance to excuse himself.
“You think he’ll ever settle down?” Ash asks after Boone throws the girl over his shoulder again and carries her into the woods beyond the light of the fire.
“Should ask you the same question,” I joke.
“Man, I got way too much going on. Between working for Blake and helping out Grams and Gramps on their farm? Who’s got the fucking time?”
“No shit,” I say, glad I’m not the only one who feels that way.
Ash tips his beer in my direction, and I tap my can on his in a show of solitude.
