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Penny sighs and leans in close even though there’s no way anyone else is going to hear her over the music blaring and the crowd of people shouting over each other. Still, she whispers, “Boone.”
“Seriously?” I don’t see it. They are so different. Boone loves being the center of attention and Penny is the definition of a wallflower. Even when she tries putting herself out there, somehow, she’s overlooked.
“I know. It’s stupid but he’s sweet. I mean… He’s nice to me when other people aren’t. Like, one time, I was supposed to be on a date with a guy at one of the bonfires. But he found someone better and left me stranded. Boone sat with me until Maya showed up. He didn’t say anything. Just sat there and drank his beer. Hell, there’s a good chance he didn’t even know I was there or what had happened. But I don’t know… His being there let my broken heart heal a little faster and I like to think it’s because he cared.”
“I’m sure he knew you were there.”
“I like to think so.” Penny chuckles but in a sad sort of way.
After a moment, I ask her, “what should I do?”
“Hell if I know. I’d kill to be in your shoes but I have no idea how I’d deal with it.”
“Do you think Maya will hate me if she finds out?” I ask.
Penny shrugs. “If you want, I could run a hypothetical situation by her.”
“Nah. Thanks but no. It’s over now anyway. No point.” At least, I think it’s over. I have no idea because he didn’t say one way or the other. All I have to go on is a grin and him being MIA all week. So, who the hell knows?
The music fades into a slow rhythm that hurts too much. Watching couples circle their arms around each other as they sway and start to make out.
“I’m gonna go,” I tell Penny when I’m on the edge of tears. I’ve had enough.
“What about your birthday? It’s almost midnight,” she reminds me.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Maya says coming out of the crowd. She hands Penny and me each a lime Jell-O shot in tiny plastic cups.
Maya doesn’t wait for me to answer. She loops her arm in mine with phone in hand. A countdown with a little over thirty seconds blinks on the screen.
“In just a few seconds, you can do whatever you want. Go wherever you want to go. No one can stop you. Lucky bitch,” Maya says and playfully kicks my shin right where the branch hit me.
I wince. The bruise is still a little tender. It doesn’t hurt nearly as much as knowing how wrong Maya is. I won’t have near the freedom she thinks I will. It doesn’t matter what else I can do or where I can go if I can’t go there with Theron.
“Happy Birthday!” Maya and Penny shout as the timer goes off.
I muster a smile and toss back the Jell-O shot. Then I give them another hour before heading home and falling into bed.
But sleep doesn’t come.
Even though it’s well after one in the morning and I’m exhausted. Emotionally more than anything. I’m coming around to the idea of being eighteen. Knowing that if I had to I could leave the pain of having to see Theron behind. The money I got from those two paintings isn’t quite enough to do it. As confident as Parker is about my potential to sell, it shouldn’t be long before I have enough to find a place of my own. I can tough it out until then.
Just as I’m settling in thinking I’m finally going to be able to get some sleep, the familiar buzz of dirt bikes fills my ears.
I get up, curious who all is here. Maybe it’s just Boone. But it sounds like more than one bike.
Looking out the window at the track dimly lit by the security light on the barn, I find there is definitely more than one. A dozen or more bikes and a couple of ATVs are parked while another three tear up the track. I scan the crowd to see who I recognize but the only three people I know are Boone, Ash, and Theron. All standing by the row of parked bikes and ATVs.
I knew I’d been missing Theron but not this much. Seeing him, so close yet still out of reach, makes my need to see him painful. I want to go down there. But it’s pretty obviously a boy’s club and I don’t want to be the girl that crashes the party.
After going back and forth, I decide to be content with just being able to see him. I stay sitting in my window seat watching Theron joke and drink with his friends.
After a few minutes, my tired brain starts to wander. I imagine a world where Theron didn’t abandon me. One in which I not only join him tonight but he invites me. Insists that I be there. He holds me close, his arm around me, while he talks with his friends. And I listen even though I don’t have a clue about motocross or trucks or farming or whatever else country boys talk about. But Theron knows this and takes a break to go on a moonlit ride with me through the timber.
But with the speed of the ATV, the cold starts to cut through our clothes.
We stop in the clearing near the old abandoned barn. Theron takes a blanket out of his magic bag of holding, lays it down on the grass and makes love to me under the stars.
I’ve drawn him so many times that it’s not hard to imagine him. His aqua eyes locked with mine as I run my hands over his perfectly toned torso. His arms flexed and bulged as he holds himself over me, I can’t possibly get my hands around them. And his cock… I only got the impression of it through his riding pants and my jeans the other day but it was enough to know it would more than fill me up.
