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When she found the courage to look him in the eye, she wasn't sure what she saw anymore. Hurt in his furrowed brow. But beyond that… Something else.
She tried turning out of his hold but stopped when his fingers tensed. "You don't want me to leave?"
"I don't want you to leave." He searched her eyes. Could he see the question in them? The fight she'd been having this whole time? "Do you want to leave?" he asked, proving he had.
Damn it, Katie. You can't do this.
She'd gone almost four years without falling for someone. Why did it have to start happening so close to the finish line? But, maybe, being so close to the finish line meant she could let up a little. If it didn't mean the possibility of screwing up her perfect GPA, she might have been able to afford to think that way.
"You should eat and get back to bed. I need to find my power cord. I think it might have fallen out in the car," Katie said answering his question without actually answering it. The safest way. The most non-committal way to answer a question like that. Because, as terrible as she felt for how she'd treated him after he'd finally decided to give dating another chance, she couldn't lead him to believe he'd be able to have that chance with her.
At least… Not until she was sure she could take that chance with him.
Chapter 20
After finishing her nightly routine, washing her face, and brushing her teeth, Katie checked on Isaac. In the low light from the hall, she couldn't quite see him but knew he slept.
He'd fallen asleep while she searched her car for her charger. Lucky for her no had run over it since it had fallen out of her bag and onto the street next to the back door.
It seemed silly to have expected to find it anywhere else. Nothing had gone according to plan or expectation since meeting Isaac. Why would something as simple as finding her charger in her car, safe and sound, have been any different?
And at this point, she'd all but accepted that even after he got better there'd be no return to normalcy. Her feelings for him, the effect he’d had on her, the connection between them had taken too firm a hold on her life. She wasn’t sure she could fight it much longer.
She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to fight it at all.
Leaning over him, Katie put her hand on Isaac's cheek.
Gasped.
His fever was through the roof.
Katie flipped the switch on the lamp next to his bed. His hair was soaked with sweat. His cheeks a deep red.
Remembering seeing an ice pack in the freezer when she served them ice cream earlier, Katie ran downstairs to retrieve it. She also grabbed the thin dishtowel hanging on the handle of the oven door to wrap it and a bowl to fill with water for a cold compress.
Upstairs, Katie hurried to the bathroom and filled the bowl with cold water. Then, as quickly as she could go without spilling, she made her way back to Isaac's room.
While the washrag she took from his closet soaked in the bowl on the bedside table, Katie put the ice pack wrapped in the thin towel on his chest under his T-shirt. After that, she grabbed the washrag, rung out the excess water, then pressed it to his forehead.
Over and over she dipped the rag into the water and dabbed it to his forehead and cheeks trying to cool him down. All the while, Isaac groaned and thrashed. He'd thrown off his covers and the ice pack and nearly knocked her off the bed a couple of times. She couldn't help him if he kept this up.
"Isaac," she said. "You have to be still." She held his shoulders but his strength had returned enough to throw her off with little effort.
"It's too hot," he said pushing her away.
This wasn't going to work. She had to do something more drastic.
"Isaac."
He groaned.
"Isaac? Listen to me. We need to get your temperature down." She leaned back pulling him by the wrist as she stood. He wouldn't budge. "You need to get up now, Isaac."
He ripped his hand out of her grip.
"Come on, Isaac. I can't move you on my own. You have to get up. Now, move it."
"It's too hot to move," he said.
