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Creek chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I think we all need to be okay with having you one at a time before we consider other things, mate.”
Shane chuckled along with him. Okay, maybe them getting along wasn’t the best thing after all. They were ganging up on me.
My eyes widened, and I shook my head.
Shane kissed my lips, right there in front of Creek. “It’s okay, mate. It’s okay. We’re teasing. kidding with you. But if that’s something you want down the line, well, we’ll stick a pin in it, okay? It would definitely be something to explore later.”
Creek chimed in. “That still doesn’t solve the one-bed-two-mates thing.”
Shane groaned. “I’ll take one for the team. Couch for me tonight. You two need a night together. I’m cool with it.”
These two were amazing. So amazing that I pinched myself thinking that it all was a dream.
Chapter Nine
Dean
I’m not sure what Samson thought I’d do when he told me about Creek, but the surprise on his face when I said I’d be leaving made it clear he’d expected something else. Also, I didn’t mention where I was going. For all he knew, I’d be heading for the hills, or another pack far away. And it wasn’t that the thought didn’t occur to me. But my wolf, and my heart, wouldn’t allow it.
My expectations that I’d be able to change and accept the situation with Jillian while spending time with my friends, old and new, at Midnight Alder, had been dashed. I’d even seen Sierra around. At one time, back before I knew I was a shifter or that she was, I’d imagined myself crushing on her, but now she was just one more attractive woman, for whom I had no particular feelings.
Wendy and Christi and their mates had done their best to help me, but I felt like I was in a constant war with myself—and with my wolf. He had no idea what my issue was and demanded in no uncertain terms that we go “home.” In fact, when I’d shifted for a pack run one night, I’d ended up halfway to Jillian.
I had no issue with how my friends lived and could appreciate their happiness, but on some level, I couldn’t get past the middle-class notion of a relationship being one-on-one. How would a relationship work with Jillian and two other guys? Would I be expected to have sex with them, too? Because, while I had no issue with anyone’s sexual preferences, I just didn’t get turned on by guys. I’d talked to Samson about it, but the alpha wasn’t much help in details. He said every relationship was different, and the participants themselves set the rules.
“I’m not gay,” I felt compelled to tell him for clarification purposes. “What if those other guys are?”
He chuckled. “The very fact we are having this conversation is because they are not gay, at least as humans use the term. Shifters are more open to fluidity, I think. As a group. But that just means we are more accepting of the sexuality other shifters live. Humans, at least some of them, are getting better, recognizing that love comes first, but we’ve always lived that way. Nobody is going to rape you.”
His voice had dropped in that last sentence, into the range I’d come to think of as pure alpha. “I never expected them to do…do that,” I protested. “I was just afraid I might be expected to…”
“To do something that isn’t your choice?” He snorted. “Not in Midnight Alder and not in Crystal Caverns. I cannot speak for every shifter in every pack on this world and every other one. But I am confident that if you just get your head out of your ass and stop hiding, go talk to your mate and her other mates, you can reach an understanding that respects the preferences of all of you.”
“Really?”
“We’re mates for a reason. A gift of the gods or Fate, it’s intended to be a relationship where we can grow to be our best self.” One corner of his lips quirked upward. “It’s certainly worked that way for me.” He waved me off. “Now, I’m busy. I’ve given you a lot to think about, and I believe you’ll make the right decision. Your mate mourns for you, and the others feel the loss as well.”
“The other guys?” Including the one I’d never met?
“Do you think every relationship is sexual?”
I left feeling like a fool, but no sooner had I taken a step outside his house than I was stripping and running. My wolf was done waiting, and if I didn’t shift, he’d do it for me. Crystal was a good distance away, but I’d made it there on four paws the first time I shifted, and that was without having a clue where I was headed. Totally random.
After I ran for a while, I slowed to drink out of a stream and suddenly wondered if my first journey was random after all.
We ran to our mate.Sometimes it was like having a split personality to carry a wolf inside me.
You knew where she was? And who she was?
Of course he had. He didn’t need to answer. But then he did.
I’ve always known where she is. I had to wait for you to be ready.
Ready? I’d been in the middle of a class when the shift came on. That was what he considered ready?
Thirst quenched, we trotted on, running again when we could. I had no memory of that first trip at all, just a sense of abject terror and confusion. I’d assumed I’d been running away from something, but in fact it had been to something. To Jillian.
Jillian.
