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The sun was obscured by a passing cloud. My whole body tensed.
Marriage.
“I see.” A strange mixture of shame and frustration took hold of me. I remembered every single word of the conversation my father and I had the day he told me he would invite suitors from the North to end the war and strengthen my reign. Without even giving it the smallest thought, I had turned him down, as if my own life was more important than anyone else’s. But there was still the fear of becoming a man’s possession. Even in the South, women constantly had to prove themselves to be considered even half a man’s worth. And yet, I was beginning to understand everything my father had said and proposed.
“Forgive me for asking,” Alrick interrupted my thoughts. “But did your father not explain the advantages a marriage to the North would bring when he arranged the ball for you?”
I pinched my lips together. How could I possibly answer this question? The truth was, I hadn’t cared about anyone but myself.
Alrick just nodded. “No need to answer. It’s between you and your father and nobody else.”
“He did tell me about the war and how my marriage could end it,” I said. “But marriage is not as simple for a woman as it is for a man.”
“Sadly,” Alrick agreed.
My gaze wandered to his scar. He noticed.
“From the war. I’ve spent more years of my life with a sword in my hand than anything else.”
“I’m sorry.” I said it almost as if I was the one who had given him that scar. It was nonsense. But it felt like it to me. I had had the power to stop the war but didn’t.
“There is nothing you have to be so—” He winced as he leaned sideways.
“Are you all right?” I’d been worried about his wound all day. Henrike had even gathered some sort of moss that would help the wound heal, but Alrick always brushed us off. “You should let us take a look at it.”
“I told you, it’s nothing.” He smiled, his face still twisted in pain.
I frowned. “What is it with you men? When you’re boys, you cry when you shouldn’t, and when you’re men, you don’t when you should.”
Henrike laughed. “For once, we agree. But don’t waste your breath on my brother. If he doesn’t want to do something, not even the gods could make him.”
Such stubbornness angered me. I pulled Fiona’s reins, bringing her to an abrupt halt. Alrick and Henrike did the same.
“This is nonsense. You’re acting like a child,” I said. “Let Henrike put that moss on your wound.”
Alrick’s brow shot up. “Child?”
“You heard me. That wound of yours might get infected, and then what? Henrike and I don’t know these woods, and we can’t very well drag your fevered body along with us.”
In the corner of my eye, I saw Henrike place her hand on her hip and readied myself for some sort of an attack.
“Listen to her” was all she said.
“What?” Alrick and I said at the same time.
“There is finally some sense to what she says,” she added.
Alrick frowned. “I’m the only one here who has spent years among wounded soldiers. I know more about wounds than both of you. I’m fine. And besides, I’m not the only one who is hiding a wound, so why focus on mine?” He pointed at my thigh.
“I see.” I took a deep breath, then swung myself off Fiona. “In that case, here, let’s take off mine and then yours.”
Without another word, I grabbed my dirty, pink skirt and pulled it up along the side of my leg, all the way up to my upper thigh. My skin shimmered in the bright sunlight as I revealed the cut I’d received from falling out the window. It was a few inches long but not very deep. Henrike and Alrick stared at me with wide eyes.
“I’m sure Henrike can find enough moss for both of us.”
Henrike burst out into laughter and then turned her horse. “I will be right back,” she said, her voice still full of humor. “There was a stream not far from here. The moss grows on riverbeds. Take a look at her wound in the meantime, Alrick. Make sure she’s not about to keel over.”
Alrick watched her horse trot off, then dismounted and walked over to me. But instead of kneeling in front of me to take a closer look, he kept his eyes on my face, as if avoiding my leg. The confidence I’d felt moments ago vanished. I suddenly felt very naked.
