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Did I? It sounded so absurd, and yet it was engraved in my brain. Perhaps it was the reason I was so afraid to love and be loved.
“I don’t believe in the gods,” I said in a weak attempt at avoiding the question.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then no. I don’t believe bad things would happen to me if I were kind.” Was I lying?
“What was she like?”
I sighed. “We try not to talk about her at the castle.”
Alrick nodded. “If you don’t want to talk about her, we don’t have to. But we are not at the castle, so if you want...”
Want to remember my mother without guilt? Just for once? Without worrying about upsetting my father?
The corners of my mouth curved into a faint smile. Taking a deep breath, I let the memory of her in. Her smile, her green eyes, the honest love she carried in her heart for animals and humans alike.
“She was kind. Selfless. And funny.”
“Then you are very much like her,” Alrick said.
“I wish, but the two of us are nothing alike.” I touched the shorn strands of my hair. “Not even in looks anymore.”
Being compared to my mother made me uncomfortable. It was an impossibility, like comparing a rotten apple to a sparkling diamond.
“What about your mother?” I asked, eager to change the topic. “She was kind?”
“She was, much like yourself.”
Our eyes met, and my insides clenched like a fist. Despite all that had happened, Alrick was a great man. He genuinely was. It was true that he had lied to me at first, but he had also risked his life to save mine. And even if he was only putting up with me for the reward, he wanted it for his people—to help them.
No. Alrick von Wilbrandt, lord of the mighty mountains of Kulgrat, was not a bad catch at all. Any woman should call herself fortunate to find a man like him. But that woman would, most likely, not be me. He didn’t seem like a man who was willing to marry someone he disliked. Not even for gold.
“Alrick,” I said before I could stop myself. He looked at me. “Have you considered...I mean, it’s a silly idea, but—”
“Over here!” Henrike shouted over to us.
Both of our heads turned her way.
“There is something strange!” she yelled.
Alrick and I rode our horses up to her and stopped beside a forest road. At a fork in the road was a rock as tall as Fiona. On the surface of the rock were curious, ancient-looking markings.
“What do the symbols mean?” I asked.
Alrick dismounted and touched the rock. “This can’t be. I thought we were several miles to the east of this road. The path from the old woman’s house has led us off course,” he mumbled to himself.
“Does that mean we are lost?” Henrike asked.
He shook his head. “Yes, and no. I’ve led soldiers down this road during the war. Those symbols were placed by our allies to help us navigate the forest. The left path is a shortcut to Mila’s cousin.”
“It is?” I looked at the peaceful, sunny road ahead.
“Yes, not even three days from here.”
Excitement took hold of my body. “Three days? From my cousin’s?”
“But this path is also in the open,” Henrike said. “It might be too dangerous.”
