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Damn. Two things in common. I was afraid to ask my next question. “Favorite song?” I said, wincing.Please don’t let it be ‘Forever,’ please don’t let it be ‘Forever.’
“‘Forever.’”
No! Not one thing, not two things, but three things in common. Favorite singer, favorite album, favorite song. I felt like I had fleas. Maybe I’d luck out with film or books. “What about movies? Any favorite genre?”
He shrugged. “Typical guy stuff, I guess,” he said. “Action. Thrillers.”
Thank God. I hated both action and thrillers. The we-have-so-much-in-common cooties started jumping off me.
“What about you?” he asked.
“Typical girl stuff,” I said. “Romantic comedy. Period pieces. But Leonardo DiCaprio’s my favorite actor and I pretty much love anything he’s in. Even an action movie. Doesn’t really matter the genre.”
“Did you seeOnce Upon a Time in Hollywood?”he asked, the conversation beginning to become uncomfortably friendly again. “I watched it a few weeks ago. It was really good.”
“I saw it in the theater when it first came out,” I said. “But only because Leo was in it. I wasn’t crazy about the movie itself, but I enjoyed watching it because of him.”
Ian looked at me, bewildered. “Youwhat?”
“I wasn’t crazy about the storyline. But I love Leo and I enjoyed watching it because of him.”
He just stared at me like he couldn’t believe anyone would ever eventhinksuch a thing, much less say it out loud. “Can you please say that again?”
Wow, talk about overreacting. “I said I enjoyed watching it because of him. Why do you keep making me repeat myself?”
“Because you can’t possibly be saying what I think you’re saying.”
“Why not?”
“Because it makes absolutely no sense.”
“It makes no sense that I didn’t like the storyline ofOnce Upon a Time in Hollywoodbut I enjoyed watching it because of him?”
A light finally seemed to go off in his head. “You enjoyed watching it because of him?” he said. “That’s what you said? That’s what you’ve been saying this whole time?”
“Yes,” I said. “God, why is that so hard for you to believe?”
“Because this whole time I thought you were sayingI was George Washington because of him.”
“You thoughtwhat?”
“I thought you saidI didn’t like the movie but I was George Washington because of him. I’ve never been so confused in my whole life.”
I slowed the car to twenty and pulled onto the shoulder.
“Why are we stopping?” he said.
Putting the car into park, I dropped my head onto the steering wheel. My whole body began to convulse. I tried to speak but couldn’t get the words out.
“Are you laughing at me so hard you can’t drive?” Ian said.
Finally, I managed to lift my head off the steering wheel and spit out one word. “Yes.”
When I say “spit,” I mean there was actually airborne saliva involved. As my body continued to shake, I felt a single tear run down my face. Then another. Then another.
“You’re laughing at me so hard you’re crying?”
I nodded. “Yes,” I barely managed to say. “Yes, I am.”
